I need help with my depression. I am too nervous to ask my mom.
Posted , 5 users are following.
Well, I don't really know how to start this so i'll just jump right in. I'm 15 years old. I've been struggling with depression since I was in 6th grade. I'm in 10th grade now. I know that at my age I probably shouldn't be dealing with a lot of depression and suicidal thoughts since I haven't experienced the "true struggles of life" but I really want to find help. I want therapy, I want to be happy. Though it is just so hard. I don't know how to tell my mom who is part of the problem of why I have depression, that I want therapy. I thought my guidance counselor at my highschool made that quite clear when she emailed my mom a list of therapist around my area when she saw my grades were falling tremendously and when I constantly told her "I feel sad all the time" when it's actually more than that.
-I feel a constant hatred towards myself for being such an unmotivated person.
-I hear voices in my own head telling me that they hate me and sometimes going as far as to telling me to kill myself
-I constantly cry a lot. Sometimes break down to the point where I ripped my hair out.
-I self harm, I used a razor blade and knife and carved up my thigh. Though I mostly jusr use a nail clipper and start picking at the skin around my finger nails and not letting my scars heal.
-I have 3 ways of comitting suicide.
-I hadn't attempted suicide which makes me feel like I'm faking depression like an "emo kid" as my friends like to call it
-I cry when someone raises there voice at me
I want help. I need help. I would love to just go a therapist and spill my heart out find out what's wrong with me. Though, I just can't build up the courage go to my mother and tell her that I need help, she would think I'm crazier than she already thinks at the moment. I also believe that therapist tell parents certain things about our sessions if the therapist believes there is a lot of things wrong, and I really don't want that. I don't want my mom to look at me a different way.
1 like, 5 replies
Bucket KylieM
Posted
m16187 KylieM
Posted
Kylie....if there's on thing I've learned from the wonderful people on this site....and I'm very grateful for their advice.....it's....don't give up. Been feeling the same way for quite awhile now. Feel your pain. But listen to these people. Your not alone. Life deals out some pretty crappy hands. I've lived through many crappy hands. Tough it out....and put the voices to rest. I have faith in you. It's hard I know. And at such a young age...even harder. You're not alone girl. Not even close to alone. Vent all you want....I...like many other beautiful people here.....are here for you. Sleep well Kylie.....tomorrow will be better.
SLD35 KylieM
Posted
You definitely need. Some professional help for your depression. Therapy would be good, but you need a psychiatrist if you are hearing voices and suicidal. You need to be honest with your mum-she will ask why, because it's a natural response, but depression us not as simple as "I am depressed because...". If you don't want to tell her why you're ill, tell her you don't know.
Don't let this go untreated-it will get worse. And I know that untreated mental illness in teens can develop into lifelong problems! I was in my early teens when I became depressed and anxious (lucky enough to not hear voices), so bad I tried suicide at 14, it went untreated and just snowballed from there (I'm 35 now and just existing).
By all means, talk on here, there's a lot of support available, but you NEED psychiatric treatment to help you deal with this ILLNESS xxx
deirdre._03652 KylieM
Posted
Please lovey make an urgent appointment to see your GP....if you feel that you cannot talk to him....show him all you have written here...he can refer you to a psychiatrist...you certainly need anti-depressant treatment, and maybe more medication and talking therapy....it is not an ordeal in any way lovey....I was like you, I was really close to doing something drastic...but with treatment and total understanding, I am much better now....I was in a clinic four times...actually a pleasant experience...I made many friends..
Also I have three sons who have problems...one in particular was very similar to you...he is well now with treatment....and he was in a clinic for four months....
Your doctor will completely understand, with maybe some medication you will feel so, so much better and positive....
Only tell your mum, as much as you!! Want to....she will want to help you....
Please lovey, get some help, you have a whole wonderful life ahead of you...we all have blips in our lives when we feel scared...incapable...empty...sad..and many more unpleasant emotions...
It is nothing to be anxious, or embarrassed about...so lovey, get some help, you are in my thoughts...you will get better...
Huge..huge...huge warm and sincere hugs to you always lovey xxxxx
stevo1975 KylieM
Posted
Kylie, sounds like a tough time you need to talk to a GP tell mom its for something else if your uncomfortable but ultimately you should talk to momlet her know she loves you! life can be very hard as a teenager hormones and other brain developments happening you need to get yourself feeling better whatever that is maybe family members professionals yoiu must search for the help because living is a trip and totally worth taking I am 43 years old and committed suiicde twice and died twice and I put my father thru hell. Dont become a statistic we all want you on the forum to keep us up to date with how things are going here to listen and help be strong my friend