I want to die...but can't kill myself

Please, seek help from a doctor.

Depression can get better with the correct approach. It is a chemical imbalance and once the problem is addressed you will be surprised how well you will feel.

Don't suffer in silence. There is help, just reach out to the medical community.

I hope to hear from you soon ! Best Wishes !

Hi T8T. I hear  your pain. I agree with the previous writer please call a doctor and get counseling and some meds. There is no use living feeling this way when you can get better!! Keep us posted we do care. Diane

Hi T8T - sorry to read of your suffering. let me make it a hat trick - make an appointment with your doctor asap, explain what is happening, and accept the help offered. Medications will help balance your mood but are only a tool, not a solution. Therapy with a counsellor or a psychologist may be necessary. These sessions will help you dig down to any issues that may be triggering your condition. You will learn coping skills, and a whole lot about who you are. These will assist you throughout life.

Suicide is not an answer when you have not exhausted every other path to understanding and dealing with depression. I would suggest that the rope failure and then the nausea with the pills is a a message that suicide is not the path for you. It is not just a permanent solution to a temporary problem, it leaves devastation in it's wake. Make that docs appointment today. Best of luck, and we are always here to talk to.

Hi.  Yes, you must get help from a doctor.  I am 57 years old and have had many suicidal thoughts throughout my life, probably starting at 14 years old.  You are not alone in this.  There are millions of people in this world that feel like you/we do but we get help and we take one day at a time.  On the proper medication you will be able to function quite normally and not have those thoughts as much as you do.  And you are not a pussy.  I thank God that you never got it right.  I don't know you but you're obviously 30 years old only and you do have so much to look forward to.  Please seek help as soon as possible - like immediately - and you'll see how much better you feel in a few weeks time.  I'm sending much hugs and love to you today...

Hi again. T8T. I totally agree with Wayne!! That's my story in a nut shell. He's smart and has obviously had success at therapy as have I and have had relief from antidepressants. Please call a doctor today. Keep us posted. We will walk this walk with you! Diane

I really appreciate all your replies. It made me feel better even if just for a moment.

Just to say, I've been to the doctor over and over, tried many different medications and therapies, CBT, group, one on one. Through my pregnancy and a period afterward (I have a 6 month old), I was seen by perinatal team. The list goes on. I've been diagnosed first with bipolar in my teen years, then depression in my early 20's and most recently with borderline personality disorder and anxiety!

I keep trying to just be content but it's a struggle and I'm scared it's going to be a struggle for the rest of my life...hence the reason I believe I'd rather not live it!

I know I sound ungreatful, crazy and probably selfish (as I'm not thinking about my little one and I'm waffling but I have so many thought, too many thoughts that now every day it comes to one thought that I wish I wasn't here.

Hopefully it will get better

Hi, so my name is Trista and honstely I'm not here to tell you what to do because I am battling the same problem. I hate my life and I'm only 18. Everyone says it gets better but I can't wait anymore. I relate to your story a lot, I just want to know how you feel now and what you did. I am very tempted to make another suicide attempt tonight, (no pressure) I just want to have some help and I think you might be the one.

I am battling with the same problem. What is working for me are....

a) cutting back on work hours. work is making me anxious and depressed. i only work 20 hours a week. financially its limiting but i'd rather be this way for now.

b) setting up a daily routine as much as I can so I can anticipate the time of days I will be low and make sure I do something around that time to distract myself

c) continue communicating with friends, even though I wanna just be done with life I force myself to contact them either through fb or whatsapp or whatever

d) seeing a counsellor.

e) exercise - it really does help even just a short walk a day

f) forcing myself to feel hopeful about the future even though deep down I know its hopeless like whatevs

i was close to attempting self harm 2 nights ago but thank goodness i'm in one of those lazy modes this week and I couldn't bring myself to move out of bed. please dont end your life as you have a 6 month old. im sure they are beautiful.

I feel the same life is so bad hate it

I have been trying hard enough to actually feel motivated to be alive. Impulsive adventures, unplanned trips and bingee eating. I hang out with my friends but at the end of the day, I still swallow 5 tablets of paracetamol hoping it will destroy my system and or slit my wrists. I dont know what else to do. I tried antidepressants but they dont work to me at all. Pls tell me an easier way to die. I figured things out already. I cannot be helped anymore. I dont want my family to know about this so pls help me find an easy way out without breaking their hearts. I just dont think I can still do this anymore.

I'm in the same boat, my life has been ruined at 42 years old my beautiful wife of 20 years is divorcing me and I don't intend or want to survive this. Today I told her " there isn't going to be any freaking divorce" she replied "what are you going to kill yourself because I'm not staying with you" I didn't answer I went in my bedroom laid down pulled out my carry pistol & put it to the back of my head. I just couldn't make myself pull the trigger yet because in 2010 my sister's husband blew his head off in my mom's yard & I saw him laying there and picked up skull fragments out of the yard. That made it too real and is the only reason I haven't been able to pull the trigger yet. I had always been very depressed and hated life and wished I had never been born until I met her & actually was happy for the first time in my life. Now after 20 years she has changed personalities so badly she treats me horribly and is blowing up our family & refuses to try counseling or anything. I have prayed for reconciliation or death constantly for a month now but today I am really depressed more than ever & I am closer to being able to than ever. I have had my gun to my head at least 4 times over the last month & I want to die but I just haven't been able to pull the trigger but I hope I can before this ends.

dear t8t, oh dear this sounds like you really don't want to be here. we can't stop you but you can get help and stop you. just ask for professional help, if YOU and only YOU thinks this will help..... there are numerous amounts of support out there. i think long-term counselling to try to find in-depthly what has sparked all of this. if you do have injuries please treat them or get someone to treat them. it's going to be tough but by reaching out it's obvious you want some help. keep going you got through the most difficult step.