Inflammation of urethra after penetration/pulsating feeling after peeing

Hi, I've been dealing with this for over a year now. Went to so many doctors but none of them helped, all had something different to say. I don't have regular intercourse (long distance relationship) but every time I do have it for more than a week I get really bad UTI like symptoms for a couple of days and treat them with antibiotics. Then they go away, but they're so bad to the point where I can't even function because of the stinging and burning that I constantly feel. It hurts to pee, I feel like I have to pee all the time, I get shivers and shake. At first, I thought it was just a UTI because I've had one in the past but I went to the gynecologist, I went to a urologist, I got tested/checked, and it's not an infection, it also kept happening every time. I've come to the conclusion that I have a urethral condition and my urethra gets inflammed after intercourse, it's not about the lubrication, I pee before and after, I stay clean before and after, I drink a lot of water, I have a clean diet, no infection. (I also only have one partner but I didn't have this problem before, it started after a long break from intercourse, we've tried having intercourse with a condom but it didn't make any difference, still got an episode). But then, some weird symptoms stayed, I get a stinging, pulsating feeling in my urethra every time after I pee almost all the time now. It just feels so weird each time afterwards. I've also noticed my urethra seems to be really close, almost too close to my vagina and it gets a little red or white after having intercourse but nothing too scary. I can't really locate it, I just see a lot of skin, I can also feel it, it's not flat to the surface, it sticks out a bit. It's not round and swollen, it's just really weird looking and low, I can't see a hole. But it's always been this way, I don't think I have a prolapse. I have a gynecologist appointment soon so I'll ask her about this, if my urethra is in the right place. I don't know what to do, I'm always in constant fear when I see my boyfriend, I have to take antibiotics whenever I see him and cranberry supplements, d-mannose, anti inflammatory stuff etc. I can't keep living like this. Why do I have this problem now and I didn't have it before? Any ideas on how to stop it? Maybe never take a break from intercourse again? 😃 I don't know.

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