looking for support
Posted , 4 users are following.
never thought I would ever be here...I'm sure we all feel this way...I could really use some kind words as I'm going thru my break up with percocet...I was given them from doctor for chronic pain but as the years went by I needed more to help with pain...I thought..just tired of worrying ...running out ...I always ran short and struggled till next app. ..I finally decided to end this stress.I am on 3rd day Soboxone. I don't feel bad but very depressed that I will never be happy again..is this normal ..blaaa. I so need some posting words....please if you have any uplifting words now would be the time ..if you can...
0 likes, 20 replies
sue45192 sherry49203
Posted
I was at one point addicted heavily to codeine and tramadol and was taking well over 1000 mg of codeine a day. I’ve been on 8 mg of sub but am at the moment on 2.48mg a day.
I have accepted that I will need to be on the patches, at least until I can get some treatment.
It is a hard journey but it is totally possible. I have got off opiates a number of times. It’s not easy but it is possible. The first week is definitely the worst and then things get easier however give yourself a minimum of three months to feel completely better, if you have been taking them for a long time obviously it takes your body a long time to get better, get used to being without it.
I’m sure there are lots of other people in a better position to give you advice than me right now but I just wanted you to know that it is possible you just need to set your mind to the end goal. Good luck. Sue
sherry49203 sue45192
Posted
ty sue for responding. .it was very nice...and greatly appreciated..the suboxone helps tremendously. ..it's day 4 and no withdrawal thank God...I know I have a long way to go but I just miss the happy feeling ...the percocet just was not working anymore and I knew I was taking more of my script and always short..I know it was not a good thing so....even though I have chronic pain and on disability for it I am going to have to deal with it on my own without the pain med. ..I do have medical marauana. .I will wait though as I don't want to mix the subs and that... ty do much and girl....be gentle with yourself....
sara21768 sherry49203
Posted
Firstly well done for getting this far!
Believe me it will get better.
It will take time but you will get there.
I was addicted to codiene and then out on methadone so I had to detox from methadone.
It was horrendous and at the time I thought I would never be happy again and I missed the high that I got from the drugs.
I thought I would never get back to normal and that this was the way I was going to be for the rest of my life.
But in time I did get back to normal.
I do still miss the high but you learn to just get on with your life.
Good luck and feel free to message for any advice xx
sherry49203 sara21768
Posted
thank you Sara for saying hello..it's nice to get responses from others who need it...like me...I am only on day 4 but I miss that familiar feeling..like being happy when I was taking them for pain but I know I was also taking them for that happy feeling...Its been so long that I have no idea who I will become...I have been thru a lot and they kinda numbed my pain..with marriage break up ...losing both patents at 70 5 months apart with no notice really and just h.the pills hrlped me cope...I'm now realizing I'm a coward to not want to face things in reality. ...I hope as I'm sure everyone eho is here on this page is here for reasons too...thank you do much and I hope you also ate a warrior...it's sure nice talking to people that understand...thanks for the cheering.
Guest sherry49203
Posted
Hi Sherry.
I know the feeling but you will get there!! Your body needs time to recover from all the damage the Percocet has done over the years.
I ended up on close to 1500mgs per day of Oxycontin & got so fed up because of the exact same reasons you gave! (Oh, & also because that amount is enough to put 4 men to sleep permanently!!)
I won't bore you with my story as I'll be here forever but I'm sure you'll find it on this site somewhere.
I was on all that Oxy for almost 9yrs & have been off of it since August 2016. I was put on 115mils of methadone per day to get off the Oxy & am now down to 30mils per day.
My partner actually said to me on Xmas eve: "Thank you for coming back to me" so I'm getting there!!
I've been to absolute Hell & back but am starting to get my life back now & starting to feel so very much better!
I won't lie & say it's easy, it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but, I'm now getting there. And so will you, it takes time, I still have bad days but they're becoming fewer now.
Good luck & you can & will beat this, you've already done the hardest bit!!!
Take care
Ritchie xx
sherry49203 Guest
Posted
awww thank you so much for your kind words...yes I understand it's been many years for me too and it's 12 days with no percs. .I am on 4 MG suboxone now ..I feel achy but certainly no withdraws that I don't deserve..I think having them will make me never to want to take them ever again. .even though they are from Dr and he is a very compassionate Dr who tried to wean me off the percs I couldn't do it with suboxone...it really saved my future as my partner said the same thing about nice having you back....we don't realize how bad we were until we give are head a shake and say enough is enough...you take care friend and it's nice that you are doing and determined to beat this...it gives people like me hope that we can all do it if we really want too...thank God.....keep in touch and thank you again for your kindness...a little goes a long way....
Guest sherry49203
Posted
Keep going Sherry, you're doing amazingly well!!
You can & WILL BEAT this sweetheart.
Just keep doing what you're doing & you'll get there!
Take care
Ritchie xx
sherry49203 Guest
Posted
hopefully I will have better days than worse..some people say terrible things about going lower on dose of suboxone but it seems to work..like I said I do get a little achy but I wish people would not say things to make you feel your doing it wrong...I'm certainly not an expert that's for sure but I feel ok at this level..I don't think I will read any negative remarks...just yours lol.....take care new fiend. ...
Guest sherry49203
Posted
Sherry,
Those who post negative remarks are just idiots who haven't been where you & I have been sweetheart, I promise you that, so just ignore those complete fruitcakes!!
I'm guessing you're in the states?
I'm in this totally useless country they call the UK & the help here is almost non existent!
Which is exactly the main reason I come on websites like this one to help people who went through what I did when no other help is available, very sad really but hey, you are doing absolutely amazing & please don't let anyone tell you any other because as i said, you've done the very hardest part, and you can now do the rest and actually GET YOUR LIFE BACK!!!! And I, along with many others here are here to help & support you which ever way we can 24/7!!! 🖒🖒🖒
Just keep on doing what you're doing!!!
Loads a love Ritchie xx
sherry49203 Guest
Posted
thank you......I'm actually from Canada. ..from now on I will only listen to positive info from people more like me and my journey thru this...we are similar to our stories and so very glad to know there are truly people who want you to feel better...I saw Dr today I told him I didn't like taking the 8 and was taking 6 for 4 days now and I'm comfortable with that. I actually would prefer 4mg but he said NO....I just want to taper a little quicker as my body wants.I get that you can't just quit but I don't want to be on the suboxone for a long time.I'm willing to go thru some withdrawal I wasn't a heavy user.. and it was from Dr always. I was the one who wants this...I took maybe 45 to 50 mgs of percocet for pain which is 5/325 or 7 to 8 a days...2 every four hours. so I'm praying to get back to normal as soon as possible...I will never ever take anything for pain again except advil or ibrophen when absolutely needed. I hope you are doing okay also. .it is a rough road but I pray the bumps on your journey are less one each day that passes...Be gentle with yourself my friend. .ty do so much..
Guest sherry49203
Posted
I want to emigrate to Canada one day. It really is Gods country!
I went to Edmonton around 20yrs ago with some friends. We hired a camper & set off to Banff & Jasper & toured the Rockies. I absolutely loved every second of it, the people are lovely & they just wanted to talk to me when they heard my weird accent 😃
I said i wanted to spend the rest of my life there & didn't want to come back, the scenery is breath taking. I absolutely loved it & I'm preying to go back one day soon!
I actually had a weird experience there. We got to a camp site in Banff up in the mountains & I went for a walk as the sun was setting behind a snow capped mountain, I don't know why but, I actually thought to myself while sat there surrounded by that beautiful scenery. If I died right now, I'd die happy right there at that moment. How weird hey!
That's never happened before or since. I guess I was just overcome by being in such an amazing place which is I why id really love to go back there one day!
I know what you mean about wanting to come off it quickly. I was the same! I also approached my Dr & said I've had enough of being on enough Oxy to kill 2 elephants plus 2 men & just want my life back!!
My Dr actually told me I was reducing the methadone way to quickly & told me to slow down! I actually reduced it by 50mils per day in one go as i was so desperate to get off the stuff!!
I think you just have to take it slowly but, your body will also tell you if you're reducing too quickly or not.
Just keep on doing exactly what you're doing Sherry & you'll get there.
Im here to help in any way i can.
Take care my friend
Ritchie xx
sherry49203 Guest
Posted
hi buddy....lol...thanks I'm certainly a work in progress....I've been to Banff a few times as my sister lived in Edmonton. ..and my father was non in Kelowna b.c. its quite a beautiful place that's for sure..and yes people there just seem to get it...by that I mean they are happy to just exist and live and be kind to everyone...I hope you can go back there. ..not to die...lol but to live...too much uncaring in this world anymore...camping sounds like you guys had a great time..with a lot of good stories I'm sure....it was a cold winter here brrr but refreshing. .I like the seasons...fall is my favorite with the changing of the leaves. ..it's beautiful....keep in touch as I will also my new friend....
Guest sherry49203
Posted
So where are you living now Sherry?
Are you still in Canada??
I absolutely really, truly loved Banff. Lake Louise is out of this world. I went canoeing on there & took a great photo from the hotel through the archway that overlooks the lake & snow capped mountains. I was very proud of that photo but my ex wife has it somewhere no doubt!!
I also went pony trekking on a mountain & saw signs of where bears had been. And saw a steam train below at the bottom of the mountain. I was in total awe of that trip & kept stopping while driving through the Rockies, Columbian ice fields etc, getting out the camper just to take in the amazing views. It is something that the memories of will stay with me forever!!
Elks walking through the town of Jasper as it was Rutting season.
Wolves howling at night in the campsites we stayed at, truly out of this world which is why I am so much in love with the country so very much! It's something you just never ever see in the UK.
My friend bought a bell when we arrived to scare bears off. I thought he bought it to throw it at the bear! Some use hey!!! But he said, as you know, it startles them so they run off before you see them etc!
I absolutely loved every second of my time in Canada & the people were truly amazing as i said.
We went to a bar in Banff called
"Wild Bills" I went to the bar & the waitress asked me if I wanted my drink topping up while putting her hand on my leg. My ex saw this, got very jealous & told me to "get back over here"!!!
That's one of the reasons why she's now my ex :-)
The people are so friendly, especially when they knew I was English. Must be the dodgy accent!! :-)
We went to what you call a shopping mall in Edmonton the first day we were there. Spent the whole day there & another whole day when we got back from the Rockies & still didn't see it all!!! It even had an underwater thing with submarines that you could go in!
A fair ground, ice skating rink, swimming pools, a zoo etc etc & I was just in total awe of the whole place!!
I must have lived in Canada in a previous life as the urge to go live there is just incredible!!
The whole place, Banff, Jasper & the Rockies is something so very very special to me & I would live there tomorrow if I could but, my 2 daughter's are my whole world & I couldn't bare to be that far away from them as i love them so very very much!!
But, I will return one day for a holiday there & who knows what the future may bring hey!!
A few embarrassing memories I'll share with you which may make you laugh!?
On arriving, I used to smoke back then, at Edmonton airport I asked a guy from security where i could go for a "fag" as i hadn't had a smoke for many hours, he looked at me & said "excuse me sir" I then realised what I'd asked for!!!!
Also, I used to be a biker back in those days & went into a shop in the mall wanting to buy a pair of leathers jeans (pants) & a leather waists coat (vest)
So I went & told the person what I wanted & he said: "So, you want leather pants & a leather vest"!!!
If I had asked for that in this country they would straight away assume I was gay!!!
I've waffled on enough Sherry, sorry.
But please do keep in touch & if you ever have a bad day & want to scream at someone. I'm always here for you to scream at as ive been there plus some!!
You take care sweetheart.
Ritchie xx
sherry49203 Guest
Posted
what a wonderful Gmail. ..I could picture myself there while I read your post...actually my brother in law back many years ago was the manager of Edmonton mall...I missed my sister cause she had to go where the Jon went but it was a beautiful place.especially like Louise. .seen all of it..I laughed at some of your stories..I'm actually from Ontario ..today is better than yesterday and the day before that..everyday is a better feeling...I know what you mean about of kids...I have one son.he is 21...I love him more than snything and he is an awesome guy...very kind and loves animals any animal even spiders. .lol he got that from me as I am a true animal lover my whole life..asking for a fag well I would of laughed to see the expression on the guys face...we don't say that here for a smoke. ..hope your day is a good one...it's a little chilly here but the sun is out .I have a German Shepard that I rescued she is all black...I walk her everyday and she is the best Frisbee catcher ever.....thanks again rich for your posts. I enjoy them and to know I'm not alone in this battle...I'm definitely looking forward to being me again as its been a while. I find myself singing around my place...lol I just smile....you take care and keep in touch my new friend...
Guest sherry49203
Posted
WOW Sherry.
I absolutely Love German shepherds!! They're my favourite dog. I've had 5 & all from rescue homes. I loved every single one of them!!
The first 2 died of cancer not long after I had them. I held them in my arms when they were put to sleep by the vet as they were suffering so very much, not eating & full of cancer . I cried like a baby as i loved them so very much. Such sad days Sherry!
I actually fealt their lives slip away in my arms & knew they had gone before the vet told me. Very strange but very sad experience & I cried my eyes out for days after. It was losing part of my family & I loved them very dearly.
The other 2 were mad for some reason & I had to take them back as they both attacked me!
The last one I had for years & was my best friend & when he went it killed me. So much so I've not had another since due to the pain I fealt.
I guess that's the problem with having rescue dogs, you just don't know what they have sufferred & been through, some very cruelly treated!!
I actually got my guitar out yesterday, something I haven't done in over 2 years!! So i guess I'm feeling very hopeful hey!!
You keep going Sherry.
Every day, every week & every month is so many steps closer to getting you & your life that you once knew back to where it was sweetheart!!!
All I ever wanted which is why I decided to come off all that heroin was my life back. That's all!!!
Ritchie xx
Guest sherry49203
Posted
WOW Sherry.
I absolutely Love German shepherds!! They're my favourite dog. I've had 5 & all from rescue homes. I loved every single one of them!!
The first 2 died of cancer not long after I had them. I held them in my arms when they were put to sleep by the vet as they were suffering so very much, not eating & full of cancer . I cried like a baby as i loved them so very much. Such sad days Sherry!
I actually fealt their lives slip away in my arms & knew they had gone before the vet told me. Very strange but very sad experience & I cried my eyes out for days after. It was losing part of my family & I loved them very dearly.
The other 2 were mad for some reason & I had to take them back as they both attacked me!
The last one I had for years & was my best friend & when he went it killed me. So much so I've not had another since due to the pain I fealt.
I guess that's the problem with having rescue dogs, you just don't know what they have sufferred & been through, some very cruelly treated!!
I actually got my guitar out yesterday, something I haven't done in over 2 years!! So i guess I'm feeling very hopeful hey!!
You keep going Sherry.
Every day, every week & every month is so many steps closer to getting you & your life that you once knew back to where it was sweetheart!!!
All I ever wanted which is why I decided to come off all that heroin was my life back. That's all!!!
Ritchie xx
sherry49203 Guest
Posted
hi friend...I just want to say thank you again for your positive words ...you have helped me...it's day 15 and the last few days I've noticed I'm not thinking about the pills like I used to...I'm feeling a little better everyday but there are days I feel a little achy buy that's OK. ..I need to feel it so I never ever take them again..even though it was from my wonderful doctor. ...I hope your doing OK. ..let me know how you are doing OK. ..I love your posts and you are an angel in disguise. ..keep in touch OK.
Guest sherry49203
Posted
Hi Sherry.
That's really great that you're feeling ok after 15 days!
The odd days where you ache I always used to put that down to my body repairing itself from the years of abusing it!?
I've actually felt great this week thanks, the best I've felt for a very long time.
Im not an Angel Sherry, I just said after the little help that was available to me when I most needed it, that I would just try to offer help to those who go through something similar to what I did at the time.
You keep on doing what you're doing, you're doing amazingly well & you'll have your life back in no time Sherry.
Take care
Ritchie xx
sherry49203 Guest
Posted
Angels are people who help others . I do my best to help those who need support in all walks of life...I'm glad to here that these aches are the beginning of healing...I'm not great but I will get there..I pray every niht that tomorrow will be better...it's not easy peasy but but better than the way I was....take care
Guest sherry49203
Posted
Each day is a day closer to getting your life back Sherry.
You've come a very long way that you can be very proud of.
What I went through was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do & I'm pretty sure after going through it & coming out the other end, gives me the confidence to know that I can probably overcome other things life may throw this way also.
The hardest thing I struggle to come to terms with is my Dr at the time that put me on all that Oxy when I didn't even know what opiates were, did nothing to help when I said I had a problem & wanted to come off the stuff, only to act quite proud that I was her most expensive patient costing them £3k per month on the Oxycontin prescription! She even kept telling me how all the other Dr's at the surgery were constantly getting on her back about the amount she prescribed saying she was lucky I was still alive!
Anyway, that's all in the past now so onwards & upwards hey!!
Take care & keep in touch. You know where i am if you wanna scream at someone on a bad day.
Ritchie xx