1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

My life's falling apart

Posted , 6 users are following.

Nssab100094
Nssab100094

I just found out that my husband gave me genital herpes. I'm so disgusted... I feel like my life is falling apart. He had a history of cheating but I thought he changed... I should've left a long time ago when my gut told me to.. But I didn't. He was overseas for a bit. Came back and after about a week of having unprotected sex, I had a bad outbreak. I'm so lost... I don't know what to do.

2 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • bee93396
    bee93396 Nssab100094

    Posted

    Hey luv, first thing you need to do is get to the docs, and get on to the meds.  The sooner the better, they will help reduce the length of the outbreak and possibly reduce the chances and severity of your future outbreaks.  I was in exactly the same situation and only found out yesterday from the doc that the symptoms I had were HSV.  After the initial shock and then the shame of having to go to the chemist to fill the script I found this site.  There are so many good tips here from fellow sufferers for helping with pain but also support when you need to talk.  As far as your feelings go, I suppose it all goes with having to deal with your marriage.... you have to stand up for yourself and remember you weren't put on this earth to be anybody's door mat honey, you have a life to live and you deserve to be happy.  My partner left after I discovered his cheating, it was such a relief because I knew deep down inside I didnt want to live a life of not being able to trust him.... it was driving me insane.  That was seven months ago, and even though it was only this week that I got my first outbreak after being sick with the flu my immune system couldn't suppress it any longer and it hit me with full force.  Today I'm feeling better.  I've just found out that my ex has gotten engaged.... my gift to them will be a "Happy Engagement" card informing her that he gave me a gift before he left that will keep on giving.  That will be my final closure.  I am not going to beat myself up over this, I did nothing wrong as you did not as well.  Get to the docs honey, get some support and meds and then start to live the life you deserve.  Stay strong and put a smile on your face as hard as it may be you will start to feel better soon xxx
    • Nssab100094
      Nssab100094 bee93396

      Posted

      Thank love... I'm sorry you had to go through this. No one deserves this mess. I guess I'm just still in shock about all this. I just need to move on with my life and remember j will find someone who will think I'm good enough even though I have this condition. You keep your head up too! Seems like you are, good for you❤️
  • feelbroken
    feelbroken Nssab100094

    Posted

    Oh honey, I am so sorry. Do you know if it was 1 or 2? There's always a possibility that you got it from oral sex w him.

    I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it'll get better. Herpes is not the end of the world. Do me a favor and join H Opportunity. It is a site just for herpes, has the latest and best research on it and all the owners and moderators running it have herpes and help to counsel people going through it. I think you'll find a lot of the support you are looking for in that site.

    • Nssab100094
      Nssab100094 feelbroken

      Posted

      Thank you so much. I'm going to go look up that website now. And it's type 2. I'm in so much pain it sucks.... I feel disgusted.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Nssab100094

      Posted

      Well soqk as much as possible in Epsom salt baths, spray Bactine or sonne numbing spray down there and use heavy Vaseline coating to stop friction.. You can always put zinc cream on first in the sires and then Vaseline to act as a barrier.. It'll relieve some of the pain. Keep your Head up and pm me anytime if you need to talk. Hang in there it'll be over soon
    • Nssab100094
      Nssab100094 feelbroken

      Posted

      Thank you so much. The pain is unbearable. I just want it to go away so bad. I'm on acyclovir so hopefully that's helping me but I'm not feeling like it is. Today's my 3rd day taking acyclovir. It hurts to walk or do anything. Thank you for kind words.. sad just still can't believe this happened to me
  • tat1983
    tat1983 Nssab100094

    Posted

    I'm sorry u r going thru this but I am also going thru the same thing I jus found out tht I have HSV 2 n I was feeling tht exact same way n I kno my boyfriend gave it to me but he jus won't admit it....but as they said it does get better I'm my meds n I'm moving on wit my life I have 4 lil ones to b strong for I am determined to not let this hold me bck I have a life to live n so do u. U will go into the next process soon with accepting it n once tht happens u will start to feel a whole lot better because I did get wit ur closest friends/family members n have fun get things off ur mind n focus on sumthing else put ur energy else where I guarantee u it will work.

    I had to tell my self tht this is not sumthing thts going to claim n take over ur life only me n God have tht rite.....I have started working a new job n I'm feeling better than ever my initial out break is almost over n I have not thought about it I jus take my meds n keep going. I hope u feel better soon😇

    • Nssab100094
      Nssab100094 tat1983

      Posted

      Thank you for kind words. Jm glad you're feeling better!! ❤️
    • tat1983
      tat1983 Nssab100094

      Posted

      No problem, anytime I kno how u feel I still have my moments too becuz this is also new to me.....I'm glad I could b sum kind of help to u.
  • jackie_76457
    jackie_76457 Nssab100094

    Posted

    So sorry! It's awful when your body hasn't been given a choice. Come here to the forum and there are many other forums on the internet where you will meet amazing people that will help you get through this. Hugs
  • dent
    dent Nssab100094

    Posted

    I'm really close with my mum and I found out that about 10 years ago when my dad used to travel away he gave my mum genital warts and for a long time he claimed he got it from a towell and that is possible but about a year ago my family found out that he did actually cheat. As the daughter of a situation like this, you deserve to be treated better. The lies and cheating will continue if not now in the future. I'm sorry to hear that he has done this but you can't have a future with someone like that. 

    Secondly I got HSV2 a year ago - I had such a bad outbreak when I was in Cambodia travelling that I couldn't walk and was bed bound plus the doctors in Cambodia made it worse in order to get more money from me - be kind to yourself, they get less painful and if you have anyone close to you who can look after you then you should get them round. I told my close friends and they're all very supportive. Take care xx

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.