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My partner doesnt know I'm not on contraception, what should I do?

Posted , 4 users are following.

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Im 21 and have been with my partner for almost 2 years. I have high doubts about my fertility and have done for many years. I have previously had unprotected sex with other partners (not because im desperate for a baby, but it just happens right?) and have never fallen pregnant. I wasnt on contraception for almost a year before my current partner, and we had regular unprotected sex just because we werent careful but never got caught. I decided to come off contraception as I cant go to the doctors until 1 year. Partner doesnt know I have been off contraception for 7 months now and nothing has happened. Im wanting to find out now so that when we are ready, we've overcome one obstable already. I have always said if I ever did fall pregnant and in his heart of hearts really didnt want a baby then I would abort to keep the relationship. I would rather abort and wait to be a happy family than end up a single mother. I know what im doing is morally wrong, but I've only got our future in mind. I really want 2 children, so I dont want to be 30 year old first time mum. Also. We both have stable jobs and good wages coming in, alongside the supoort of family. I had to open up somewhere about this. Any advice is welcome.

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • scarlett47105
    scarlett47105 Guest

    Posted

    Hey Lozzychops00.

    Have you thought about discussing this with your partner?

    It's always better to be open and honest with each other, rather than him finding out his own way.

    Also, consider seeing your GP about your fertility concerns as its better to get things sorted rather than leaving it until it's too late.

  • katy33473
    katy33473 Guest

    Posted

    What is really important to note is that having an abortion carries some significant risks one of which is infertility, so you would be much better off taking contraception until both you and your partner are ready to have a family, abortion can also cause some significant psychological damage. There are loads of contraception options out there and they are really easy to access. 

    Honesty is always best in relationships and I completely understand you not wanting to be a single mum, so communication is so key 

  • manda08392
    manda08392 Guest

    Posted

    Lozzy, parenthood is a decision of both the mother and father. Discuss the fact that you are off contraception and why with your partner. It would be better for you two to have sex with a condom if he is not wiling to risk pregnancy right now and for you two to be a team then it would be for you to become pregnant and have an abortion which could have effects on your body long term. If your partner is insistent that you be on contraceptives instead of using a condom then your partner isn't listeniing to your needs. You both have to consider the others feelings and needs.

    I didn't understand your comment about not going to the doctor until 1 year, can you please explain?

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