Please help: is there anyone on here who's got through this?
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Have been taking citalopram 20mg for around 10 years without issue.
Started taking a PPI for excess stomach acid on 8 Feb. Felt physically unwell on 9 Feb. On 10 Feb, started having rolling panic attacks. They stopped in the evening. Then they came back the next day. Again, stopped in the evening. Same pattern the next day.
Upped citalopram dose to 30mg on 13 Feb, so exactly two weeks ago.
Still waking up with panic. Panic still pretty much continuous until around 7pm, when, bizarrely, I start to feel almost normal. Every small task seems immensely stressful. Occasional episodes of crying. Struggling to concentrate on anything. Zero appetite. Find eating weirdly stressful. Like a nightmare: wish I could build a time machine and go back to 7 Feb and just stay there.
I am trying to accept the anxiety and just let it wash over me. But it's this constant barrage of intrusive thoughts: 'you are a failure'; 'you will never get better'; 'you will never be you again'. I accept and refocus, accept and refocus, accept and refocus, but they keep coming back.
I don't know what to do. I feel trapped. Do I keep holding on for another week and see if this goes away? Do I go back to 20mg? Do I switch to another AD? I understand that no one on this forum can give me an answer. **But I could really do with hearing from someone who went through this, did get better and did get their life back. **
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