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Tired of walking on eggshells with my own brain

Posted , 2 users are following.

star72816
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I'm truly tired of it. Granted, I've always been a bit more anxious than the average person my whole life, but I still was carefree. I was balanced. If I got a panic attack, I'd breathe through it, then it was over. I didn't obsess over the possibilty of a next one. I didn't even think about it. Whenever I experienced a strange sensation, I didn't dwell on it. I just waited it out. I didn't worry myself sick over "what if I get that feeling again???"

Before this devil of an episode of frequent, unrelenting anxiety, I could do just about anything I felt like, not even thinking about anxiety. Cup of coffee at 2 in the morning? It would disrupt my sleep but whatever! Meditation? A chance for my thoughts to flood the forefront of my mind? Sure. 

But now I can't do those things. I have to adhere to a strct regimen in fear. I'm always fearing the return of my anxiety. I absolutely hate it. It's sucking all the fun out of life. 

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • luvinlex
    luvinlex star72816

    Posted

    You might have some depression along with generalized anxiety disorder. I'd see a psychiatrist and a therapist. Find out what's going on. See what they recommend. You might have a case so severe, you'll need to take medication. 
    • star72816
      star72816 luvinlex

      Posted

      Already on meds and it seems to have eliminated the lows, thankfully. I think it may indeed be GAD. I jsut don't understand what triggered it...? I was doing so well and then BAM. It smacks me in the face. Or more accurately, beat me to a bloody pulp :p
  • Howll
    Howll star72816

    Posted

    I'm just the same, I had six years of what I'd call anxiety free (more along the lines of manageable). Recently though, I feel as though I'm hyper aware to everything! Every sensation, every thought or feeling, events happening around me, I can let it go, I'm becoming a mess, I'm sat here in work panicking over every thought and feeling, I just can't cope with it anymore.
    • star72816
      star72816 Howll

      Posted

      That's rough sad Can you schedule to get a physical with your doctor? It could be a physical cause (especially if the anxiety was always there for 6 years.) If blood tests and what not come back and nothings wrong, you could have something a bit more uncommon, like celiac's or candida overgrowth. Could be a ton of things really. Google is your best friend. 
    • Howll
      Howll star72816

      Posted

      Google certainly isn't your best friend, Googling is usually the worse thing to do in this type of situation. I've always had anxiety, I've had numerous blood tests, heart checks, had MRIs and Cat Scans over the years. The reason it's flared up again is because I had a severe infection back in august, which has opened up a whole new can of worms. I also have epilepsy, and I'm constantly anxious about having a seizure when out and about, so I do know what it is. Originally my anxiety started from bad bullying in school, when i say I was anxiety free, it wasn't that I didn't have any anxiety, it was that it was a manageable level that didn't stop me from doing things in my every day life. Worst thing to do on a forum like this is to list possible diseases or conditions that could be causing things, it's likely to make people more anxious.
    • star72816
      star72816 Howll

      Posted

      Oh my apologies. I didn't mean to cause anymore anxiety! Especially because I've been there myself, hypochondriac at times. It's just that so many people have anxiety or depression that they can't seem to place and my many, many, many hours of research has led me to believe many people have something like an imbalance (and I don't mean chemical imbalances !) 

      But I am getting so much better at not letting anxiety dictate what I can and cannot do. I do that by trying not to fear the anxiety. Fear of fear, it's called. Really, once you get past that, I think it becomes loads easier. 

      Good luck to you. 

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