Chronic pain; is there no way out?

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Almost from my first memory I have been in chronic emotion or physical pain. It is all I can do much of the time to stay focused on the positive. It is like being prisoner in my own body. I don't give up. I cannot, Something in me will not let me. I often wonder what it is and why. It means major depression as will as polyneropathy etc.but I keep going. Am I brave or stupid? Am I a sinner or saved from myself? Am I smart or dumb?  I guess I must think; what so wrong about being happy.

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  • Posted

    First of all David I sympathize with you and you are NOT dumb and it's NOT your faultsmile take heart in knowing that. Were you abused at all? A lot of chronic painers I know were abused and this is their body's way of dealing with all of those unresolved issues. I know that therapy can and will help you if you havent tried yet and there are plenty of chronic pain centers out there that specialize in chronic pain who can help you. You can also try visualization which can help ease your pain...Meditation helps, and so does not focusing on it..the more you focus on your pai the worse it will be lol....Prayer can help also.
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    • Posted

      I wrote you along replay but it was lost.

      I have been in pycotherapy for 20 yrs. and done with that 2 ys ago..;still connected though. My dissacocitive amnecia idenity feelings........

      I can't go through this again so just let me say thanks for a relply and I will try again later.

      To the site managers; you need to work on navigation problems.

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  • Posted

    Hi David,

    I had not had chronic pain for the first 33 years of my life but it started when I had my first car accident with a severe sciatica. Then I was physically abused and in another car accident. It left me in pain all of the time before resulting in severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, muscle spasms and what the doctors call fibromyalgia which is just a simple term for nerve pain. After trying several medications I am at the lowest dose possible of Depakote at 250mg and 50mg of Lamotragine, 50 to 100mg of Trazadone per night and 1 to 2 mg of clonazepam per day. I have lidocaine patches in case I need them. 

    What I wanted to tell you is that recently something truly miraculous happened to me. I had been denied social security in court because of my age and education status. I had been on Opiates, Lyrica and muscle relaxers too. One thing that has helped is that I stopped eating out. Prayer also helps. There is nothing wrong with being happy. Getting outside and walking helps. I don't know if you are on pain medication but my life became a mess because of it. I finally decided to let it go but kept the lidocaine patches for emergencies. I don't know what has happened but after 2.5 years of not working I landed a job as a Billing Specialist. I'm about to get off of food stamps and get my life under control. 

    Meditation does help. Working has helped a lot because when I come home late in the afternoon i am very tired sometimes and when I get into bed it feels like I am floating. The bad dreams still linger but I am coping and they are getting better. 

    I was severely abused as a young girl and I feel like it followed me into my adulthood. I never forgave myself for the mistakes I made in the past so that made my anxiety and depression worse. It helps to have a close friend or family member that you can talk to that understands chronic pain and depression. 

    The experience I had with people when I was in so much pain was: "well you are up and walking around (very slowly) so it must not be that bad." They don't understand that chronic pain in your neck, shoulders, back, and legs can feel like you are slowly dying. It was terrible. I became agoraphobic back then. I did not want to leave the house. The clonazepam has really helped with that. As far as the Depakote and Lamotragine....I consider those a crutch that I needed and I will be cutting my dosage of Depakote down to 125 mg on Saturday and then in two weeks my Lamotragine to 25mg. If I get a little nausea Crystalized Ginger and Apple Cider Vinegar are my friends. I listen to music, ride my bike and live and work in a positive atmosphere now. 

    I used to be my own worst enemy. I guess God answered my prayers because I no longer wanted to let my physical and mental pain control me and I pray every morning on my knees with thanks. I am not afraid the pain will come back. When it does I just take some Aleve, use aspercreme, my Tens Unit, soak in an Epsom salts bath or put on a Lidocaine patch. 

    Don't lose hope. I am not 100% better yet but I'm making strides. Its been 10 long years of physical and mental pain. I guess the torture is subsiding. 

    You are not crazy but I feel like big pharma has us hooked on thinking we can just take a pill and forget about it. A lot of soft tissue and muscle pain is in inflamation from foods and the way our body digests carbohydrates and sugars. It also has to do with the amount of weight you carry around. Opiates build up in your system and after a while I was in more pain and very depressed and agitated from them. 

    I am not trying to say to not use medicine but my doctors were rediculous. At the age of 43 I was on about 8 medications. That is way too much!!! Now I'm down to 4 prescriptions and counting down to 2 by next month. 

    I just want to say good luck. You could try a chronic pain group. Therapy doesn't always work. Doctors can make suggestions but they cannot make choices for you. I remember they would get irritated because they could not cure me. I used to be the victim. Now I'm the fighter.

    The hardest day for me was when I got hired. I was still in pain and considered not taking this job. I sufferred for a week with pain. After that it was better by 60%!!! Then my sleep got on track. I get compliments at work on my outfits and that I look well. 

    One more thing. Get all of the cleaning products and any deoderant, perfume, and soaps, shaving creams and so on out of your home if you can! Get natural ones at a natural foods store. 

    Aluminum and a bunch of other chemicals in the ones on the regular store shelves are toxic. For people like us they build up in our system and create more aches and pain. Your body can't process through aches and pain very well when you have toxicity. You might want to try the whole juice diet where you blend real raw fruits with vegetables and drink those twice per day and have one big meal once per day. That is where I am headed in a few weeks. My friend had chronic pain and she lost a lot of weight and had increased energy, her pms, fatigue, and depression even got so much better. 

    Also, forget about using a bunch of vitamins. You want your basics like b6, b12, C, and D3. Your vitamins should be coming from food if possible. I have a whole stack of vitamins I am not using now...OOOPS! 

    Please let me know what you think. Personally I've been there and you have to really make an effort. Now I want to enjoy life to the fullest. I am glad you commented so I could post my progress. Good luck to you. Sending prayers. 

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    • Posted

      Dear Debra, I don't know if you are a female david or I am a male Debra. We seem to be on the same page with alot of issues. I am probably older; 65.

      Siatica is bad. So many people have it. Maybe because we all are kinda spoiled with all this tech age convienence. I got out and walked the last 2 days and I feel soooo much better. It's amazing. Walking is something to do for yourself..benfits are so many.

      I was very much sexually abuse as a very young age and as a young child. At 12 me and my 5 siblings moved in with my Dad and his new wife. We all were abused emotionally by her to unamaginable extents. My  father seemed powerless.

      My first 2 wifes were poor choices as I chose them unconciouly to be like dear old stepmother. I never knew what 2 way and real love was until 60 with the wife I have now. She had had issue too and we can relate well together. I have......needless to say PTSD plus all kinds of DXes in my history;bipolar 2, diabetis, major depression, disassociative amnecia and idenity disorder, multible personality, polyneuropathy, neck cervical infection, back  fusions, shoulder surgeries, SYNOVIAL cyst removed but only after it did nerve damage, I almost forgot about my birth stomach operation to correct upside down stomach, hietal hernia, neuerogenic bladder and must catherize sometimes, occcipital pherifiral neuropathy. There are probably a couple of more but you get the picture.

      I have been on many meds at on time or the other. Before I caught on to what doctors do best I was on 14 meds. Now I only on 9, ha.

      I stay away from pain meds after trying a few. I had to be only hydrocodone for 2 weeks after my back operation a mounth ago but I am off for good now. I do use Lidocane patches and they help some. I can finally stretch like before the operation. It is easier now for obvious reasons; the cyst is gone.

      I too have learned from my mistakes. But, first I had to seperate the mistakes I made and the mistakes that were thrust on me. That include well meaning people that said I have no prpblems at all.

      We are fighters. Sometimes, however, my victories seem awlful hollow.

      I take 5 more pills that are vitimins.I can't take B-12 as it hurts my stomach????

      I may read like I am a mess but I have tried to stay pretty "normal"

      Are you married? Have any  kids.... I have 2 grown girls 

      Thanks for being you.  

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