The chronic pain that ruined my life

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Seven years ago I began to suffer from chronic pain, which extends to all regions of my back and neck. It is important to note that the pain is completely chronic, it has not stopped for a moment during the last seven years. The pain over the years has grown stronger and stronger to the point where I have not slept at night for the past six months, until finally I collapse from fatigue in the mornings. The pain is sustained by standing or sitting for a long time, so it is very hard for me to work. Consider the fact that I can not find work that can be done lying down. After two or three hours of standing, the pain is on the pain scale from 5/10 to 7-8/10, an unbearable situation that requires immediate rest. From a person who has been able to work full-time in the past, I found myself working only four times a week, between three and six hours a day, and earning a minimum wage at work that requires physical effort. My partner is against me, working and earning about 10 to 25 times what I earn, with no effort, at her workplace. She runs a restaurant, and this is a role she has earned through long-term work at the place, rather than through learning courses or a degree. Recently our relationship has seen the problem that if we choose to move in together, I will in a sense be a leech, and live on her money. She said she had no problem with it, and that she would support me in every way she could, but I can not accept it, and this creates enormous conflicts between us that might break up our relationship.

It is important to note that I have been in all the possible tests, the doctors have already given up on him completely, and thought that I was crazy, the pain I suffer from is expressed in the areas where the pain is present, when the pain begins to grow stronger. The source of the problem remains a mystery, and the doctors and medical experts all recommended that I take pain pills, the strongest (and most unhealthy) type, throughout the rest of my life.

I also ask for advice on the issue of the matter with the company, and also on the health issue, I can not receive recognition from the extent of my pain and receive the percentage disability / monthly disability pension because the problem was not found medically.

What would you do in this situation?

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  • Posted

    First and foremost, find a pain specialist. A very nice and knowledgeable lady here told me to look up CRPS. I think that is what my husband has, following brain surgery, but it can be brought on by stress (it seems) or physical trauma that does not necessarily correlate to the area where your pain shows up now. That trauma does not always start the pain immediately- you might have had a concussion or a broken bone years ago, and then suddenly the pain starts, with years of nothing between them. I have put my husband on Gabapentin (Neurontin is another in that same class of drugs). It seems to be helping so far, but only time will tell.

    As far as your relationship, that I cannot help you with from the viewpoint of I have no clue of your dynamic. That being said: My husband had brain cancer, and brain surgery for it. He still (4 years later) has problems with balance and with dizziness. He cannot walk far, he cannot work long. Therefore, I work. He is a real "macho" man, a firefighter. Staying home, and allowing me to do everything- work, clean, cook is difficult for him. When people love each other, you must figure out something that works for the mutual good. She is willing to shoulder the money part in return for having you. You must figure out what you can do for her to make things more equal feeling for you. You cannot allow your pride to stand between her and no her. Unless you do not want her. What you are saying is that at some point in the future, if something happens to her and she cannot work, she will be worthless. (You feel worthless because you cannot work, so she would be so if she could not work)... Yes, think about that. Please keep us informed.

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  • Posted

    Just so you know where my comments are coming from I want you to know a little about me . I have suffered from lower back pain for 13 years . I have been on opiates for 10 of those years . I have tried every therapy known to man. everything from epidural injections, a TENS unit, a spinal stimulator, physical therapy and lots of it, talk therapy, I even tried just one session of acupuncture, massage, rub-in ointments and lotions that are supposed to reduce my pain, almost every kind of drug there is from muscle relaxers to steroids to reduce inflammation and I've also tried Gabapentin more then once and I'm sure there are others that I'm not remembering now.

    I think you would benefit greatly from seeing a therapist. your comments above indicate a very depressed and frustrated man. and being in chronic pain will do that to a person. I think it would benefit you greatly if you saw a therapist and then involve your girlfriend after you've seen a therapist a few times. you are going through a very long and painful grieving process. you've lost the life you once had and that's no different than losing your best friend. a therapist might want to put you on antidepressant which may help you great deal. I don't suggest that you move in with your girlfriend until you have both been seeing a therapist for a while. I've seen a lot of relationships end in divorce after the caretaker gets tired of being the caretaker and wants out. it's very hard on both of you.

    I think Stazstaz makes a valid point that you need to go see a pain management specialist. they will be able to make recommendations on other treatments you can use other than opiates. As she mentioned there is Gabapentin that is a very useful drug to a lot of people. And if that doesn't work then you can try pregabalin which is also known as Lyrica in the US. it works in a similar fashion as Gabapentin does.

    you don't say what tests you had run and it would be very helpful to know so that I might have some more suggestions for you. if you haven't already you've got to try a TENS machine. They don't cost a lot of money I think they're about $30 US dollars on Amazon.

    I don't quite understand your rationale on not filing for disability. I didn't quite understand what you were explaining and why you didn't qualify. but if you have not talked to someone who knows a lot about applying for disability you should do that before making the decision not to reply. And I'm talking about an attorney or a professional who knows something about disability not a friend who applied and got it or didn't get it.

    I really care about what's going to happen to you and I would love it if you could keep us up-to-date on your progress. there are a couple of other treatments that if I mention them here I will be monitored so I will send them to you through the private email system.

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    • Posted

      this is a thoughtful and caring response to adam lost. I just wanted to acknowlege your kindness. I am in the same boat as you, have done it all, nevro implant, opana medication and I still suffer chronic burning constant pain. It takes a big chunck of your enthusiasim for life. I am still mourning the loss of me, still find it hard to believe this is my new life even after years and years. This chronic pain thing is a challenge in all ways. My best wishes are with you and us all that fight everyday for our well being.

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    • Posted

      You are so nice for saying so. I had thought I had finally come to terms with my life until February 6, 2018. That's the day my life changed again. I'm having a really tough time of it this time. I've now lost what little I had and I have to fight my demons that scream for a quick and merciful death.

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  • Posted

    Have you been diagnosed with anything attall? It took years for me until i gound out much later on in life, that i have scoliosis and sacrolitis in my lower back. I would ask your GP to send you fir an MRI Scan if you hsve not already had one. It will show up in that.

    Elizabeth

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  • Posted

    Confused, but moved. Sometimes you sound like what I've experienced. You ask for advice? I don't know what to say; I wonder what you're not telling us. Sorry, should not have answered this.

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