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Don't know what to tell people

Posted , 4 users are following.

tiffanie57538
tiffanie57538

I was diagnosed with ibs about 2 months ago after suffering for about a year undiagnosed && when I'm having a bad day with it I make up lame excuses for not going out because I'm worried people take the mick but they think I just don't wanna spend time with them. I have zero confidence aswell should I just tell them I don't want my friends to laugh && make fun sad.

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • Chuckj
    Chuckj tiffanie57538

    Posted

    Hi Tiffanie

    IBS is more common than you think, and many people suffer from food intolerances and digestive problems. You may find that some of your friends may have a similar issue.

    Don't be afraid to tell your good friends, as honesty is the best policy and having people empathise will help with you confidence issues.

    Also, consult you GP about a suitable diet, so that you can improve the situation, and allow you to enjoy life a bit mire rather than isolating yourself. You may find also seeking help for your self esteem and confidence through talking therapies may help. This is available through the NHS if you are UK based.

    All the best??

    • tiffanie57538
      tiffanie57538 Chuckj

      Posted

      Thank you for your advice I've told my friends & they were very understanding, I saw my GP about diet & it has helped my situation alot smile I no longer have to worry about having a bad day

    • Chuckj
      Chuckj tiffanie57538

      Posted

      Hey Tiffanie, so pleased to hear this update from you!  You did and are making the changes that give you a good quality of life.  I like your positive spirit. Well done and keep passing on the message as there are a lot of people who suffer in silence.
  • emily_92420
    emily_92420 tiffanie57538

    Posted

    Hi Tiffanie,

    Don't let your IBS affect your life. Its embarrassing yes but i bet half your friends have embarrassing body stories to! Being open about your condition will make you feel better about it yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of and im sure your friends will understand and support you.

    Best of luck!

    • tiffanie57538
      tiffanie57538 emily_92420

      Posted

      Thank you when I plucked up the courage to tell them they were all very understanding about my IBS & my confidence about going out has sky rocketed smile

  • astrozombie
    astrozombie tiffanie57538

    Posted

    I say good friends will understand but other than my family and my ex partner I have not told anyone either. My ex has been very supportive but also said a relationship would not survive my condition but as a friend she has no issues supporting me but for a boyfriend she needs someone reliable and with my illness that is not me but as a friend she is great and even meet able and I am able to discuss. It is great though I do find myself thinking if I had never started being ill we would be living together now but that is the past and you have to look forward. 
    • Chuckj
      Chuckj astrozombie

      Posted

      Hi, I hope you don't mind ne asking, but do you suffer from mire than IBS, as you describe things as more of a debilitating illness?

      You can live a good quality of life with IBS, as it can be controlled. I have a strong relationship with my husband and with tweaks to menus can share meals with family and friends.

      It is good that you have support from you ex partner, but you can also look forward to new relationships, please do not let the illness control your life. Perhaps some help with self esteem and confidence may help?

      As I have said before in this post, IBS and gut/bowel issues are very common.

      Sorry for typos, but hope you get the gist!

      All the best!

    • astrozombie
      astrozombie Chuckj

      Posted

      Hello Chuck

      Not at all. No I have other ailments but not debilitating.  Having spoken to doc in the last few days the word uncomfortable would be more apt.

      Indeed and many people do. That is very good for you and I am glad. Sounds nice.

      Yes she is very helpful but no to new relationships.  That part of my life is now over.  The illness does not control my life I have recently returned to work although a bereavement has limited the time I have been able to spend there.  I also go out from time to time for gigs and to walk but know if I can not make it then I am only letting myself down and I can handle that.

      Agreed they are very common but imagine letting someone down on their friend's big day be it a wedding, funeral or chistening or just meeting with their friends as schedules are complex and difficult to arrange and then imagine being at none of these events leaving your partner to attend alone and then magnify that many, many times and in the end you can see how difficult it can be for the other person. 

      If we had been living together before I was diagnosed we could have made it but the fact we were not made the decision much easier for her and to honest I do not blame her.  She made the right decision.

      In many ways I am a confident person so do not have many issues in this area.

      Yes I get the gist

    • Chuckj
      Chuckj astrozombie

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply, Astrozombie. It is admirable that you think of everyone else affected by your ailments, but don't seem to think about yourself.

      Perhaps concentrating on coping with the ailments first, there ate some great suggestions on this forum. Sometimes just changing what we eat and reducing stress and anxiety can bring release from the pain and discomfort. In my case eating a low Fodmap diet including lactose free milk has made a significant difference.

      I hope you can find something that will ease your discomfort so you can move on.

      Wishing you all the best ??

    • Chuckj
      Chuckj astrozombie

      Posted

      Thanks for your reply, Astrozombie. It is admirable that you think of everyone else affected by your ailments, but don't seem to think about yourself.

      Perhaps concentrating on coping with the ailments first, there ate some great suggestions on this forum. Sometimes just changing what we eat and reducing stress and anxiety can bring release from the pain and discomfort. In my case eating a low Fodmap diet including lactose free milk has made a significant difference.

      I hope you can find something that will ease your discomfort so you can move on.

      Wishing you all the best ??

    • astrozombie
      astrozombie Chuckj

      Posted

      Thank you. I can handle it, others' struggle with it which I fully understand.

      This is what I am trying to do and although I am much better than I was I still have days when I can not leave where I live due to fear.  I am not sure if this ill one day fine the next will ever go away.  In which case I need to find strategies to cope.  These strategies help but they do not eliminate the problem.  I think I am always going to have intermittent illness.  Indeed I have read many of the great suggestions.

      My diet is unrecognisable from when I was first diagnosed.  To start with there is fruit and vegetables in my diet now smile

      Reducing, not so much stress, but definitely anxiety, is a big issue for me.  Even when I am not doing much I appear to be in a permanent state of anxiety.  

      I have but difficult to move on when it is a recurring illness

      Thank you

      A

       

  • mark6651
    mark6651 tiffanie57538

    Posted

    Try doing COPD, and go to your GP for help. He/she might be able to give you something.
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