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had the most draining day

Posted , 12 users are following.

mazpaz
mazpaz

Hi all

Had my absence management meeting today at work as I've been off for 3 months after a bad relapse following excessive workload and long hours without a break. 

The meeting was over 2 hours long and basically management have not exactly considered my condition. My union rep is fighting it but I'm worried if I fight too hard they will just make life hard when I return full time. I came out completely flawed and sat in a ball at home in the dark for several hours trying to recoup. Not sure why I'm telling you all this I suppose just wanted to link up with someone that gets what it's like.

Paz 

0 likes, 39 replies

39 Replies

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  • caitlin39841
    caitlin39841 mazpaz

    Posted

    Hi paz.  sadly most of us will have ebeen there at some point or another. that's why my heart goes out to you. hopefully the union rep will come up trumps for you.

    C

  • orange12933
    orange12933 mazpaz

    Posted

    You have to stand up for yourself otherwise things will never change.
  • mazpaz
    mazpaz

    Posted

    Thanks guys. Yes I guess you do have to stand up for yourself but I'll lose in the end as they will just pile it on when I go back and sadly contracts open ended so they can get away with it if they are clever.

    Paz

    • orange12933
      orange12933 mazpaz

      Posted

      You have to think of your health first. No job is making yourself I'll for.
    • orange12933
      orange12933

      Posted

      Meant no job is worth making yourself I'll for!
    • mazpaz
      mazpaz orange12933

      Posted

      Yes but when the UK support system doesn't support us and I'm the main breadwinner. What do I do?

      XP

    • lynne69494
      lynne69494 mazpaz

      Posted

      Even the strongest and bravest in good health have lost to authoraties at times,   and come away feeling like cr..,  so dont beat yourself up about it, but dont let them grind you down either, could your family,  gp, mp back you up. Or due to condition maybe a new job part time might suit better, rather than risk a relapse or be stressed with workload, save your energy to fight with the health problem, push the negs away till you need to deal with them,  but best wishes
    • lynne69494
      lynne69494 orange12933

      Posted

      Many many years ago l did that, hated the job and bosses, literally got on my nerves, but stuck with it, knowing the money was being relied on, months later had to leave due to health wrecked and went through hell, took me months of therapy and pills to get back to reasonable health, def wasnt worth it.
    • Beverley_01
      Beverley_01 mazpaz

      Posted

      Hi paz,

      I supported my friend while they were struggling to get work to understand their position. Our condition comes under the disabilities act and work has to put reasonable adjustments in place as well as looking at a staggered return if that Is what is needed, i believe? My friend was off sick for two years in the end and both parties agreed to terminating their contract. They couldn't offer my friend reasonable adjustments or even redeployment due to the continuing symptoms. There was reports, ot appointments, etc etc. It Is draining stuff. Let the union rep do the leg work while you rest as best you can.

      Best wishes

      Beverley

  • wknight
    wknight mazpaz

    Posted

    Are you in the UK? Do you work for a big company which has an occupational health dept? If so, OH should be working with you. tHey will determine your return to work plan and your manager will be advised.

    It should be a phased return to work, such as start with a couple of hours and build it up slowly.

    • mazpaz
      mazpaz wknight

      Posted

      OH have been involved and they have suggested an extended phased return. Management have accepted that it's more what they expect me to do when I return.

      Paz

    • wknight
      wknight mazpaz

      Posted

      Again get OH involved because they can influence what work you do as well. OH have a huge amount of influence because if they don't follow the rules you have grounds to get money out of them and they don't want that. 
    • mazpaz
      mazpaz wknight

      Posted

      They have made some recommendations but not enough to protect me on what I'm being asked to do. It's hard to explain without going into specifics which I daren't do as it's a public forum. But thank you I cherish all advice and the fact that you've spent time - despite being ill - to respond.

      XP

  • boni333
    boni333 mazpaz

    Posted

    I'm not from the UK, I'm in the US. I had a great job when I got sick and made alot of money. I was told I had to leave work due to CFIDS. I laughed and when back to work. I wasn't in a union and I was on my own. I told my boss about being sick and that I needed to have medical breaks and rests so I could still work. I also told him my doc would meet with to explain the illness and go over what I needed. My boss told me that we didn't have to do that, he knew all about it. I thought great and went back to work. Well, like you said, they doubled my work load and added twice as many accounts. I lasted 3 months and crashed, they carried me out of work. I was devasted and I knew I lost my high income.

    I don't know the laws in your country but here there is a law called Americans with Disabilities. It means companies have to provisions for sick and disabled. I sued my company for violation of this law and I won. This was in 1993 and CFIDS was being laughed at and I still won. I don't know if you have anything like that there but I thought you might be able to find something like this there.

    At the same time I was bedridden with this, I lost my home when I lost my income and I was abandoned by my friends, family and husband. I found out how strong I could be when I had to. I landed on my feet and doing OK today. I hope this helps you in some way. This is a horrible illness and everyone makes it worse by not believing in it or understanding us. Good Luck, you always have us and others that have this.

    Bonnie

    • mazpaz
      mazpaz boni333

      Posted

      Bless you and we'll done for surviving and fighting. I've managed my condition fine for 15 yrs then new management and government changes on top means I'm now in the position I'm in. I'm lucky in that I have an amazing partner and my family have become more supportive after seeing my bad relapse first hand. I loved my job and resent the fact that I was doing it well until the change in management. I suppose that's partly why I don't want to just lie down and let them bulldoze me but as some of you have said it takes precious energy.

      Thank you so much for the responses so far. Very touched.

      Paz

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