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I don't know what to do.

Posted , 19 users are following.

Hailea
Hailea

Hi everyone

Has a phone call from my dads sister yesterday. My dad has been rushed into hospital. He may not make it. In the state I am in I am not going to be able to go and see him either. He lives the other end of the country. I am really worried that if he doesn't make it I won't get the chance to see him before anything happenes or make the funeral if I do loose him.

Would it be worth me phoning my surgeons secretary and explain the situation?

I am not even sure  if they got me in quick got my hip done ( Even if that would be possible ) my dad would still be alive by the time they discharged me.

I don't know what to do. sad

 

2 likes, 40 replies

40 Replies

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  • Swindon60
    Swindon60 Hailea

    Posted

    Ah bless you hailea that's sad news . I assume you are pre op ? If you are personally I don't think post op you be be up to travel for some time . Not sure of your history though as to how you are already managing .

    Have you got someone close you can talk to ? Or maybe gp or for sure ask surgeon .

    Thinking of you

    Denise

    • Hailea
      Hailea Swindon60

      Posted

      Hi Swindon

      I have had the left side done I am 6 months post op with that side. Been waiting to have the right side done. That side has collapsed and I am in 24 hour pain nothing is helping any more.I have been canckled on 14th September was told won't get the chance again for at least 3 weeks ( That was a week ago. Saw my GP yesterday all she can do is write to them and tell them what they already know. That I am in pain and suffering. I don't see anyone from one day to another except other 1/2 and son. It hurts too much to even move now so going out and seeing friends is not an option any more.

    • Jodi-France
      Jodi-France Hailea

      Posted

      I'm very sorry Hailea.

      Since you already had one THR you knoe that it is not likely you will be able tp travel, even for an emergency, for several weeks.

      Can you at least have someone by your dad Skype or Facetime you so you can see him with your own eyes? The Hospital should have a social worker, reach out to a social worker at the hospital and ask for help with either Skype or Facetime.

      I hope your dad pulls through

  • Guest
    Guest Hailea

    Posted

    Oh Hailea I'm so sorry to hear about yur Dad. Before I had my op and was in terrible pain, my Mum had a cardiac arrest, I too lived 3 hours drive away and hadn't driven for a few weeks. There was lots of other things to consider too like my pets. Anyway I got into the car and drove to see her, the hospital kept her on life support until I got there. The 3 hour journey took me 5 hours, as I was in so much pain. They let me have 2 hours with my Mum before they turned the life support off. I am so pleased and happy that I managed the final goodbye. Don't think I could have coped if I hadn't. I stayed at her flat then until after the funeral, and then drove home with my partner following me.

    I can't tell ou what to do love, you have to do what you feel is right in your heart. I don't know what else to tell you just send you a great big hug (((((((hugs))))). Keep in touch and if I can help I will Love Gill xxxx

    • Hailea
      Hailea Guest

      Posted

      Hi Gilcat

      Thank you I am 8 hours away from where my dad lives even by train and I would have to change trains 3 times if I went by train so i that isn't an option. My pets are not a problem. I would take them with me. We have a van with kennels welded inside so they all thave there safe beds to lay in including the cats.I have never left my pets at home even for family weddings they all go with me. But traveling in my condition isn't an option. My right hip is now loose and when I sit doen the top of the femur pokes out under the skin at the top of my thigh. sad

  • louise2602
    louise2602 Hailea

    Posted

    You mean you worried in case yr dad dies and u have to have a hip op? I would cancel the op, go see your father. Otherwise u may regret it. If I understood you correctly? U can have yr op anytime but yr dad well !
    • Hailea
      Hailea louise2602

      Posted

      Hi Loise no I am worried I won't get my operation in time. I am in way too much pain to travel. There is no way I can make a 500 mile journey in the pain I am in. I find it hard enough getting up to even go to the loo.
    • louise2602
      louise2602 Hailea

      Posted

      Hailea when u say you won't get yr op in time what do u mean ? It's not clear. Do u have a date for yr op? I understand as I can't travel more than to my local shops I'm in so much pain. Call your dad speak to him on the phone. He will understand.
    • Hailea
      Hailea louise2602

      Posted

      I was cancled for my op on September 14th.

      I wasn't given a new date because the ward got a bug and had to be closed down for deep clean. I was told a week ago it could be 3 weeks before they will try and get me in again. I won't be able to go and see my ded or go to the funeral in the state I am in. My femur is now floating round the top of my thigh becuse the join collapesed a couplke of weeks after having the left one done. I am on so many oppain killers I am suprised I can even function normally. But things are so bad now that even those are not doing anything for the pain.

      I can't phone my dad. He can't even talk even if he wanted too he is that ill.

  • rose0000
    rose0000 Hailea

    Posted

    I think you need to go and see your Dad. Even if he is at the other end of the country. Personally given the choice between the funeral and a goodbye, I would choose the goodbye.

    The surgeon's secretary does not need to know for the moment, unless your operation is in the next few days, wait and see what happens.

    So sorry this is all happneing to you at once. Please call a friend or a relative to come with you, at least to drive, you sound very paniced which is natural, but you must have someone with you if it is possible.

    All the best.

  • derek54514
    derek54514 Hailea

    Posted

    Hi Hailea

    I am so sorry to hear of your problems. It doesn't sound practical for you to go and see your dad, as you could do even more damage to your hip. It is bad enough as it is. How about writing him a letter, you can explain everything to him and asking your aunt to read it out to him? I know it is not the same as actually being there but I am sure he will inderstand your difficulties. Or could your son go and see is grandfather to represent you? Hope you get your operation done soon. A big hug from a friend.

    Hazel (Derek's wife)  XX

  • Kristin53
    Kristin53 Hailea

    Posted

    Oh Hailea

    What A dilema. sad my heart goes out to you. 

    Only you know what you can and cannot do, it maybe worth trying to see if you can get thecop speeded up just in case but it may be a while before you could travel such a distance anyway.

    There is skype, can somone set up a skype call for you so you can at least see each other?   

    I don't know what else to suggest hun.  My prayers are with you.

    hug x

     

  • Swindon60
    Swindon60 Hailea

    Posted

    Skype sounds brilliant idea ! And letter

    Poor you Hailea warm hugs from your hippie friends

    Denise

  • renee01952
    renee01952 Hailea

    Posted

    dear Hailea, 

    I am so incredibly sorry to hear this dilemma you are in and not sure what to say ...

    You are  in agonizing pain, physically and emotionally and not really able to make a decision right now -

    In all honesty, you are not able to be in a car for 8 hours (and back) - getting yourself out of bed is challenging fo you ... This is not to put you down, dear Hailea, but this is a tough decision you might have to make and that is: accept that you might not see your father before his passing - 

    I don't know if you believe in a higher power or something, but in these times, the only thing one can do is to have faith and surrender ..

    Be still and go within - you know what to do ...

    blessings and love

    renee

     

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