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I want to kill myself

Posted , 37 users are following.

worthless
worthless

I want to kill myself so badly. I tried earlier this year but I was prevented and given Prozac to treat my depression. For as long as I can remember, I've been suffering with ADHD, depression, anxiety, and various other mental illnesses. I have an abusive mother, and a father who lives across the country. I'm trapped. I've tried psychiatric help, medical help, every kind of help there is. Sometimes I feel better, but I always come back to wanting to die. Today I got mad at my two best friends- They went somewhere without me after saying they would let me come. They both know I have anxiety and I always get upset whenever they do things like that- but they continue to make me a third wheel. And to make matters worse, they humiliated everyone with them by showing them my texts and how upset I was. I yelled at them and they yelled back, and now I'm here with both their numbers blocked, my phone off, and looking for the easiest ways to commit suicide. I can't take this life anymore. My friends were the only happiness I had left and now they're gone. All I ever do is cause trouble for the people around me and I can't take it. I've said it before without really thinking about it; but now I'm SURE that everyone would be better off without me. After all, how can my own mother and friends be wrong when they tell me I'm an annoying, controlling, lazy, bitch? I've tried to stop- I really have. I've tried so hard, but now I'm giving up the fight. I can't take this. I need to die.

2 likes, 46 replies

46 Replies

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  • pen1976
    pen1976 worthless

    Posted

    Honey you are upset, understandably, please do not do anything silly like killing yourself, you are too special and smart and wonderful to do that, may I ask how old you are?

    can you get to a phone and call the Samaritans? I know it sounds corny but they really can help and you can talk this out, if you are a child and you feel threatened by your parents, call social services, can grandparents, call anyone you trust, please please do not think you are alone, your not! 

    You ou far from worthless, you just feel that way, I was you once, I'm now nearly 40, alive and fighting to keep my happiness, you can do it too, please talk to me, I'm really worried

    • Unhappy1
      Unhappy1 pen1976

      Posted

      Hello all, I'm new on here, it's so unfair how isolating it is when we need friends who understand. I've been through the same, it's so scarey. Remember you are not alone and you're worth a lot
  • meteor63
    meteor63 worthless

    Posted

    Please don't do anything. Please don't. You are not worthless. Don't let the hurtful words and actions of others affect your life.

    It's easy for me to say but however dreadful things feel right now, there could be all kinds of amazing things ahead of you in the future. Don't let all that go to waste.

    I am sending you a virtual hug.

    pen1976 is right. It's a good idea to call the Samaritans.

    i will be thinking about you.

    • eli_bird
      eli_bird meteor63

      Posted

      The Samaritans is only help for that moment people in this state of mind do not really do it ,im sat here looking at ways to kill myself and i have no intrest to phone Samaritans,what i would really love is for someone to be here giving me a hug saying we can get through this but fat chance i have on that instead im looking at best ways to do it also my phone is broke and no credit sad everythig seems hopless ,i feel for worthless and wish i could give her a hug at least i would have someone who truly knows how it fels who wants to end there life strange but comforting
    • Truefriend
      Truefriend eli_bird

      Posted

      samaritians do not care, I told them I was going to end my life and they told me they do not stop you, they allow you your  choice, how does that care
    • BeccaBush52
      BeccaBush52 Truefriend

      Posted

      Samaritians don't care they only help if you are thinking/planning sucide. Right now I am researching ways to kill myself and I want to kill myself today.HELP ME.

  • worthless
    worthless

    Posted

    I am fifteen and I am a horrible person.

    I am bossy and rude and selfish and lazy and a waste of space. I'm so mean to the people that used to love me and I drive everyone away. I'm loud and annoying and I procrastinate everything and I waste my big IQ by procrastinating and lacking the will to do any work in school. I need help but I just can't get it. Nothing works and for the first time in my life I'm so content with the idea of killing myself. It's like I don't even have any emotion anymore. I don't care what other people think. I don't care what will happen. It's like I'm already dead inside so why not just end it for all of me?

    • dougied85
      dougied85 worthless

      Posted

      Please whatever you do don't take your own life - I know it might seem hopeless right now, but you have a whole lifetime ahead of you and there are people out there who do and will care about you and love you.

      Please make the call to the Samaritans - I'm sure they will help and just being able to actually talk to someone who is just there for YOU will help you so much.  I have thought about such things myself in the past, but have been lucky in that I have scared myself with the thoughts I've had and it's stopped me from doing anything.  People do care, and the world will not be a better place without you.

      Please make that call.  Take care.

      Doug. x

    • eli_bird
      eli_bird worthless

      Posted

      you are only bossy and rude etc. because its the only way you know to get attention so if it means being like that to get attention you will,i used to be the opposite and act stupid and say dumd things on purpose so people would give me attention then one day someone said be ore assertive put yourself high look in the mirror and say what a georgeous confident person you are and yes it works people love confident people more i just never knew it because my mum always put me down so i felt worthless so i acted stupid ,but sadlly this has nothing to do with that this about pressure ive had to fight to be with the one i love for 5 years and just because people are jealous because of my happiness in having the best husband in the world i thouhht has made me cling to him so much ive driven him away so why couldnt people leave us alone and the answer is people always want to say awww poor you never mind 
  • pen1976
    pen1976 worthless

    Posted

    See we all care, you are far from worthless, in fact you are a wonderful person, you are just looking at what you think you do wrong, I bet you are incredible and interesting to be around smile

    promise se me you will call the Samaritans honey? Please?

    • worthless
      worthless pen1976

      Posted

      I would rather not do it at home with my mother around. She doesn't let me call anybody. I'm sorry but I honestly do think I'm beyond help.
    • pen1976
      pen1976 worthless

      Posted

      Turn your mobile on, go to the bathroom, whisper if you need to, they will understand if you stop talking if she comes up to the room, you need to stop this thinking, killing yourself solves nothing, you have so much to give, so much to live for, you CAN do so much!

      take action, don't let her win, if she is neglecting you, tell someone, get them help you need and deserve, do it sweetheart xx

    • eli_bird
      eli_bird worthless

      Posted

      i know how u feel im feeling that this moment if i had number of Samaritans i wouldnt even call ,no friends i can truly trust has honesty really died ,ive always thought of myself as a really good person always willing to help others and now its my turn no one here for me ,so yes you do feel beyond help you feel no one will take you serious the only way they will is when you actually do it then they will wish they would have listened but for now the feeling is totally you are on your own sad
    • Stufer
      Stufer worthless

      Posted

      When I was in my twenties I used a cheap guitar for a SHRINK it helped a lot.

  • meteor63
    meteor63 worthless

    Posted

    We are all thinking about you. You are needed in this world and there is so much future ahead of you. So many wonderful possibilities. It's gonna be okay. X
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