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Posted , 7 users are following.

Wrote this a while ago, was meant for my family but can't show them they'd think I was stupid so before I delete it thought I'd post it here least that way someone will listen xxx

I've tried to tell you all this for so long

so today I've decided to write this song

In the hope your'll finally listen to me

Because you've got me all wrong

I'm not who you think, I am not strong

I'm going to tell you now just how it is I feel

How what I'm going through is very real

I wonder what you'd do, I wonder what you'd say

if you knew just how unhappy I am each and everyday

If I told you That I hate the world that everyday i'm on the brink

of taking my life

Tell me, Then what would you think?

I've tried to tell you before but none of you believed

So I'm writing it all down so you can finally see

Just How little I cope how I struggle to get out of bed,

to wash and get myself dressed

How my life's one huge mess

I feel like I wasn't meant for this world

Like it was some cruel mistake

Feel like nobody knows me

what you see is just fake

I want you all to hear me now and I hope your'll understand

nothing in my life has gone the way i'd planned

Remember years ago when I went off the rails, went a little wild

You never knew the reasons, I couldn't say

It was because I was abused as a child

None of you knew because you wouldn't get it,

I'd have probably got the blame

Like somehow I deserved it

I couldn't speak up and make the family divide

So I kept quiet, kept it inside

I see a counsellor to try to help, have done for months now

You didn't know that either, I couldn't tell you, i didn't know how

You see you're all so different to me you're all so very strong, I'm part of this big family yet don't feel I belong

Everyday is a struggle, everyday I have to fight

Sometimes I can make it through the day

But then comes the night

I'm scared, I cry, the frustration overwhelms

I cut my arm with a razor blade

To try to calm myself down

Because at night i'm alone and scared half to death

Feeling sorry for myself for i have nothing left

I'm weak, i'm pathetic, that's just me

A victim of my thoughts and feelings

Just wanting to be free

So this is it, this is who i've become

A woman in a child's body

Feeling constantly numb

So next time when you tell me "grow up! just get a grip"

I want you to see, i'm not well, it isn't self pity, this isn't just a blip

This is something that's always there

Just want someone to love me, hug me, help me, show me that they care.

Have so many issues that I just couldn't tell

Didn't want to be a burden and bring you into this hell

But i don't know what else to do, I'm feeling desperate now

So Please please listen, please try to understand

You're my family, I need you, I love you, I want you to hold my hand.

X

2 likes, 11 replies

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    I'm really glad you didn't delete this. I actually really enjoyed reading it and reckognising similarities to personal experience. Remember just to deal with life one step at a time and take small steps. Everyone needs an outlet and this is a good one.
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    • Posted

      Andrew that such good advice, your right taking one step at a time is really the only way to fight back. Depression can be a lonely time and we all need someone to lean on. Sometimes talking can be a huge thing for people, it can be so frighten talking about the empty feeling or the scary racing feeling you have. IT even worse when you cant work out why its happening to you.

      Happiness can seem miles away but that doesnt mean you wont get their even if you feel like you on the later running train to London going at 2 mph just leaving Inverness. the journey maybe long but evr step forward however small is a positive step

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  • Posted

    Hi Dondons, as ever beautifully written....

    You must really write an anthology of your poetry...it is written from thedepths of your heart....it is raw and honest...you truly have talent young lady.....Take care always, regards to you also always,,, God bless xx

    DEIRDRE xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Dondons, as ever beautifully written....

    You must really write an anthology of your poetry...it is written from thedepths of your heart....it is raw and honest...you truly have talent young lady.....Take care always, regards to you also always,,, God bless xx

    DEIRDRE xxx

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  • Posted

    thank you everyone for your kind replies xxx

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    • Posted

      These are the lines that have touched me because I well know that people who have never experienced depression just don't understand how it feels or the feeling of being trapped day after day with no way out...

      "So next time when you tell me "grow up! just get a grip"

      I want you to see, i'm not well, it isn't self pity, this isn't just a blip"

      Personally I think you should show your song to your family.... who knows they may even start to understand.

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  • Posted

    That is beautifully written ,so many of us can relate to much of what you have written . you should maybe consider printing a brochure of your poems ( sorry for delay - having problems with internet signal at the moment ) xxx
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    • Posted

      Thank you Maria, you're really kind, I have my book, like my little journal but other than posting some on here from time to time i keep them for myself x

      Donna xxx

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