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I am laying in bed contemplating writing this, I did so well last year, cut down my alcohol intake massively, I didn't even find it that hard. Then my mum died of liver disease brought on by years of alcohol abuse and I've just gone down hill since then

Most people would go the other way after watching their mum die a slow death and witness her pushing everyone she loved and loved her away, but the truth is I tell my self every weekend not to drink so much and I just end up doing the opposite

I'm so down about it

Help

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  • Posted

    I'm not a great fan of it (because you never know whether you're getting the good or the bad), but counselling is probably a good direction to go in. As to whether you have a real problem or not with alcohol, please tell us how much and don't knock several bottles per week of your total, give the real figure.
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    • Posted

      I had counselling and it was ok but I couldn't face going one week and I never went back, I'm

      A weekend drinker I don't touch it in the week, come Friday sat and Sunday I probably drink 5 bottles of wine approximately, I got it down to 3 a week last time and I know a lot of people will say you have to give up altogether but for me , I'm not ready for that, to be fair I'm not sure I'm ready to stop at the moment, that's the scary thing

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    • Posted

      Quite frankly, if you abstain during the week, and only have a bottle on Fri, Sat & Sun, then you have nothing to worry about.

      You don't have to give up, that is a reasonable amount for any fit healthy human being. These new NHS drinking guidelines are ridiculous. If you find that stretches out to a bottle every night of the week, that should be a warning sign, otherwise, I wouldn't worry.

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    • Posted

      I agree that the new drinking guidelines are certainly strange, but I feel that for a woman, 3 bottles of wine each week is quite a lot and could well lead to health issues in the future.

      Assuming that the wine is 14% and each bottle is 750ml the that works out to 10.5 units per bottle. 3 bottles = 31.5 units a week.  Even under the old guidelines in the UK that was above the recommended level at which health damage may occur.

      Then add in the factor of a possible genetic link with your mother and I think you should look to explore ways to reduce the amount of drink just a little, rachel.

      I know that, for me, the setting of self-imposed goals or limits and then the inevitable breaking of them was a sign that I had an issue in that I was 'using' drink to cope with things. 

      If you feel unhappy with how you are drinking, and how it makes you feel, then please look through the various help out there.  Not all involve completely stopping.

      Grieving is a complicated process and is further complicated with other feelings in these type of circumstances.  You may just be going through that naturally, and I am sure that a lot of people drink more during this period to help them a little but be careful.

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    • Posted

      I agree it's way too much alcohol but less than what I drink now and I want to cut down gradually and get to a healthy drinking goal

      I'm not coming on here saying I'll do it I'm just going to really try

      It makes me sad when I hear the truth of what it could do to me but I have to hear it, I can't become my mother 😟😢

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    • Posted

      This is really not heavy drinking smile.  You are scared and I would be because the liver cancer gene...if there is one is obviously in your family.  However, if you can continue drinking this small amount and it doesn't progressive to daily you may probably be fine. Just stay away of the amounts you consume and take care of yourself in other ways too with the foods you eat and throw in some excercise.

      Did your Mom drink heavily?

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    • Posted

      I said "stay away from the amounts you consume" DUH...I don't know why.

      I meant...keep track of the amounts you consume...and try not to have them GO UP.

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  • Posted

    Losing your mom is a massive ordeal and so it is not a surprise your turning to alcohol to ease the pain. I turn to drink on a daily basis and just for the stress of day to day life, let alone losing a loved one. Try stay strong. It will take a hell of a long time but the pain will ease. Try be with family and friends and keep talking to them xxx
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    • Posted

      Thank you

      I'm lucky I have lovely family and friends (not all of them get it tho) I'll try and cut down, I know I can do it

      Just think I've hit rock bottom again ☹

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  • Posted

    Hi rachel.  How are you doing?

    You have started thinking about your drinking (first step).  Maybe you can set a goal to then DO something.  Try one of the pill methods that Paul or Joanna will suggest.  Try to do something.  Thinking of you and sorry for your struggle sad and the loss of your Mom

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