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...Nobody want to say the truth!?

Posted , 3 users are following.

Brandy1997
Brandy1997

Hey people. I constantly feel that everyone is hiding some secret  from me. That ''secret'' is something I have done in past that I don't remember BUT need to feel very guilty about it. A lot of people, not all of course, changed somehow in relationship with me, and I'm worried that I'm guilty and bad person.Maybe I'm paranoid but I'm very sad because of this and my self esteem doesn't exist anymore. I feel like I lost my identity and that I don't KNOW myself but other people knows like every step I make. Somehow. This scares me sometimes. I used to be positive but my life is in a complete mess now. I cry a lot and loose control easly, harm myself and take too much pills in once to harm myself. I don't feel anything anymore. I'm constantly worried and need to check out everything and to overthing everything because maybe I will find the truth that is hiding... I lost emotions, I'm starting to hate a lot... but that's not what I used to be. I feel like scared 7 year old lost in the world without anyone... 

I often feel like my life will be over very soon and that I lost my life already. Nothing makes me happy anymore because half of my mind is ALWAYS on trying to find that secret that everyone is hiding. I'm 21 year old btw

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • borderriever
    borderriever Brandy1997

    Posted

    Hello Brandy

    You are twenty one years old, could it be people have begun treating you as an adult not a teenager, child. Some Parents start treating their children as adults at thirteen while other look at twenty one for that change. Could it be you are now expected to act as an adult femail and your parents and reletives have now changed their attitude accordingly

    You are taking medications and have been harming yourself and people will not be able to understand the problems your are eminating. I suppose they may be concerned and know what you have done in the past, many people would have reservations because of what you have done in the past. I suppose now you need to prove to people you are in control of your life and able to move on from your condition 

    Have words with your GP and see if you can move on from your disability. However I do not know what your condition is.

    If you need some encouragement we are here to help you.

    Remember to gain a persons respect you have to prove to them you are taking control of your life and prosper

    Keep a hold

    BOB

  • booboo40688
    booboo40688 Brandy1997

    Posted

    That story you said reminds me of Harry potter!! I hope you will get better soon!!!! P.s. I Wish i had magic abilities!!!!
    • Brandy1997
      Brandy1997 booboo40688

      Posted

      Well everyone wish they have magic abillities smile First of all, what im feeling has nothing to do with " magic abillities" or some kind of paranormal. I just feel that people hate me for some reason that i dont know. And its very overwelming, but what is more is my reaction to these thoughts.. But thanks anyway....

    • booboo40688
      booboo40688 Brandy1997

      Posted

      I feel like that too....because i Was bullied a lot in the past.....a lot of What u  describing ive been through too....do u take medication? Maybe not right amount....maybe needs increased...dont self harm u dont deserve it....try and distract yourself by doing things u enjoy doing....when u feel low or angry at yourself or Just Sick of everything try smashing a plate or a cup or wrip the Pages of a book....i dont know what to say tomake u feel better....i dont think people hate you...i think its just the way your thinking...try and go to therapy....maybe they can help with the thoughts you are ha

      aving....i dont think that the people that care about you would hide things from you....try and focus on other things....i hope u will sport things out....

    • booboo40688
      booboo40688

      Posted

      Sorry sort i ment my i pad keeps correcting everything i spell
    • Brandy1997
      Brandy1997 booboo40688

      Posted

      Thank you so much, no, I don't any medication. I was builled in past too, maybe that can be some kind of reason for my guilt issues. I avoid myself often to do things that I love or enjoy because of my guilt issues, or I simply don't enjoy anything anymore... I know that problem can be in myself and my low self confidence and guilt issues but again... I feel that nobody is honest with me. I don't tell this with a position of some moral person or great person, I feel complete opposite but this feeling is weird. Thank you again!

    • booboo40688
      booboo40688 Brandy1997

      Posted

      You shouldnt feel guilty for anything....its you re life....you dont owe anyone Nothing...dont let their Words affect you no more....u deserve to be happy....and remember those people Who Hurt u in past will have karma to deal with....people Who care will be honest with you....get better soon....
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