:(( please may I have a good anxiety free day tomorrow..

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi all, 

I went back to work today after having been off sick and worked from home for the last 5 months (back problems). 

I had a little procedure last week to relieve the sciatica pain down my arm. For some reason that started my panic attacks. They have been with me ever since and on a very very intense way sad

A month and a half ago I reduced my citalopram from 20 to 10mg. I was so bad that I've been back on 20 for 3 days. For some reason today was so bad! I thought that being back at work... I'd forget about everything but no. I felt like a nervous wreck and felt like crying but I couldn't!! I got home and it was even worst!! Felt so anxious, so scared of I don't know what anymore, dizzy, couldn't eat the whole day again, just feeling like screaming because this anxiety is not not not going away!!

I forced myself to go for a swim. Once there I wanted to go out as I felt so unwell. Everything scares me sad I look at something or somebody and I get this intense knot and fear in my stomach which makes me gag so terrified I get!! I then sat on the side and did my breathing exercises which went from worse at first to better. I was shaking, pins and needles but couldn't actually move my arms!! After a few minutes it disappeared and I felt a little better. I'm now back home but I'm scared that I won't be able to sleep because of those irrational fears and thoughts!! I've just taken my citalopram 20mg and I'm praying to feel better tomorrow!! If I'm the same as today I don't think I'll manage sad( does anyone ever feel this way? Do you think I felt worse because the 20mg is kicking in?? I just wanna feel good again. This rubbish is ruining my life and I have no one to talk to, no one that understands. 

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  • Posted

    I do know exactly how you feel because I experience all the same symptoms which are so frightening.Wherever I go I just want to get back home as quickly as possible and consequently I have hardly been anywhere of note for the past few months.Most people have no idea how dreadful it is to live with this constant fear.I don't take any medication other than a sleeping pill,because I don't want any side effects  and as I live alone there is no one here Ito look after me if I am ill.

    i am meant to be going away on Thursday for a week,but am going to cancel as I am too scared to travel alone,even though I have friends to meet at the other end.I don't want to spoil their holiday by being in a constant state of anxiety.

    I think CBT might be the answer for me.Have you considered trying that?

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    • Posted

      Hello there,

      I'm sorry to hear you feel the same. It is horrible!!!! I started CBT 2 weeks ago. For the time beeing we have only been talking. She did say that I am not going mad and all of those symptoms are just part of anxiety. I feel like I need to have a professional next to me reassuring all the time when I feel like this sad the thing is when it gets really intense it doesn't matter what I know about it As I get so wrapped up into that cycle that I can't think or listen or believe whoever says what. It s so selfish of me to be wrapped u in my little world!!! I really try to distract myself but sometimes when I'm just breathing normally I can feel this thing in my stomach again which makes me gag and tremble! Of course I can't vomit anything as at the moment I've lost my appetite and can't eat. It's a living hell!!! I'm still struggling to accept that I have a problem. The word anxiety or nervous.. Is enough to start my panick/anxiety cycle sad

      Please try and go next week. It might do you a world of good to have your mind taken away from how you feel. If your friend is aware of it she will understand if you need to take some time out.

      However, if ATM you feel like this all day long I totally understand.

      I hate taking medication but with the citalopram that I take, it usually keeps my anxiety under control. Maybe you should have a word with ur GP... Saying that, If I have a very bad time then even if I take it I will still have my panic attacks to be honest. 

      I think that when that happens it is usually when I'm only on 10mg.

      I shouldn't have gone down a month and a half ago, with all the stress... I obviously was not ready. 

      I hope we could just click our fingers and make it all go away.

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    • Posted

      It's such a misnomer about medications for anxiety. It's a hormone imbalance in the brain cause and effect reaction in the brain.. Flight ..fight response.. It's really no different than meds needed for bi polar disorder or diabetis.. Life is society is stressful.. Anxiety reactions r harmful to r health too! 

      Meds for migraines is necessary..not any different than anxiety.. Meds..

      anxiety left untreated can lead to many other disorders..

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  • Posted

    Plz see a professional who specializes in anxiety... U can manage anxiety. I can tell u life does get better. Sometimes a little talk therapy to help give us the coping tools can give us the power back take the fear that sometimes can come with illness. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel .. Been there until I was almost drowning..came up for air and after time leaning helpful skills and appropriate meds does help..


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  • Posted

    Hi Babette  well done you for going back to work, anxiety sucks doesn't it I hate the way it spoils everything.
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    • Posted

      It it really doesn't have to.. There are ways to manage anxiety to acceptable levels..I have been soo out of control it controlled my life.. 

      I decided to fight back.. Things r better ...anxiety never goes completely away.. Now I don't get so sick and totally debilitating any more or shut in & shut out u know the drill..It can get easier .. Family support is crutial...



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  • Posted

    Please don't ever feel you are alone. I do think you may pick up more when your meds kick in. Intrusive thoughts are the worst for me, try not to focus on thoughts about tomorrow that's the problem you could, feel better anxiety is so unpredictable. Your thoughts are just that they aren't real try and relax and sleep will come, go with the thoughts they will not hurt you I promise. Hope to hear from you soon xx
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