(thought) I got off zoloft and then...5 months later

Hello,

I tried sharing my thoughts just over 2 years ago when all this started and it was one of the things that kept me going. So now that I seem to be hitting the same wall again, I simply wanted to share my experience and get any advice from people who can relate to my story.

I got prescribed zoloft during a 2 week hospitalisation following a fainting episode. At the age of 49 at the time and overtaken by severe health anxiety which dragged on for more than 4 months. Other findings were minimal so eventually the verdict was GAD and moderate depression. Never taken any medication before, I left the hospital with a prescription for 50mg of zoloft and two benzodiazepines, one of which to help me sleep after several weeks.

My initial reaction to this was not positive, since it took me about 6-7 weeks to stabilise (while I was gradually moving from 50 to 100mg within one month and was only functional on benzos). In about the 8th week on sertraline, I had completed a short benzos tapering and in fact I was feeling ehm alright (life was bearable at least). Stayed on 100mg for a total of 11 months and started tapering for 6 months thereafter (100-50-25-0) following the advice of my doctor.

My zoloft experience, despite my initial negativity was in fact extremely good (after the 8-week mark, cause it was a nightmare before) and especially in the tapering period between 100-50mg. In fact it was so good that I thought I had re-discovered myself and I almost forgot I was on medication. I was happier than ever and the prospect that I was going to be drug-free again, only gave me a boost. The move to 25 did nothing but to start reducing my main side-effects of reduced libido and serious weight gain.

It has now been just over 5 months since my last pill..and until recently the only weird things I noticed were just whooshing in my ears and daily itching. These had stopped a couple of weeks ago and I thought I was good leave everything behind me and move on.

WRONG

Almost exactly 5 months after my last zoloft, I woke up with extreme dizziness, muscle pains and panic. Mood swings followed, hot flashes and headaches. These were pretty much the symptoms I had when I first got on zoloft and took at least 2 months to resolve.

I contacted my doctor who said there's a 6 month window for symptoms to re-appear. He gave me 3 weeks to monitor and report if these (or any of these) were going away. His view was that if they have not subsided within 3 weeks, it might be better to go back to 25mg and build up my dose to 50mg.

I am a few days before the 3-week mark though and although physical symptoms appear to be getting better, anxiety has taken over my daily life again to the point where it seriously messes my daily life. I stopped making long-term plans, I've started postponing appointments, not answering calls and generally I don't feel like dealing with anything that can be pushed down the road. This gets me back into the same spiral I was 2 years ago, only back then, I was thinking time was working in my favour as I was waiting for zoloft to kick in. Right now, I am not sure what to hope for.

I trust my doctor but deep inside, I am not sure what the best way forward is, as he even told me that it is impossible to know if this is a relapse or withdrawal and from his experience, at least half of his patients were put back on zoloft in such cases, albeit at maintenance dose.

I was told about the importance of tapering but as I had no symptoms for 5 months, I thought I was out of the woods and proud of it. This has hurt me in multiple ways as the memories of my darkest hours are all but forgotten and the thought of having to go through that again makes me tremble.

Can such a thing happen because of withdrawal and so long after my "successful" tapering? Could it be that I'm trapped in a vicious cycle forever?

Not asking you to tell me what to do, rather what you would consider in my case and if it's worth trying to wait longer for something which for now seems inevitable. Your experience matters and as you very well know, any reply helps in these cases.

Thank you all in advance

Ian.

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