14 years and counting

Edited , 5 users are following.

I cross addicted to alcohol from drugs when I was 22 and out of rehab. I was proud that I was doing something legal. In my twenties I bar hopped and got two dwis. I'm 36 now and I drink a half liter of vodka a day. the hangovers effect me more than the Buzz which I hardly feel. I've broken my ankle and elbow while drinking. I dont feel comortable driving sober. panic attacks run in my family. I have nightmares when I drink too many days in a row. I am functioning gwith a full time job. but my nerves are quickly making me a recluse. I'm a 36 yr old female. I've done rehab. not for me!

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  • Edited

    Hi Erin,

    Thank you for sharing your story. It is never easy to detox from alcohol. I can relate with you about having horrible nightmares when I detox, but please know this is temporary, it will pass.

    Have you ever tried to see a psychiatrist to talk about your panic attacks and possibly get medication for it. It's never easy to quit drinking if you have a physical and emotional dependency on it. We all start drinking because we have underlying problems that we have not treated and alcohol use many times start as a way of self medicating and a way to cover up negative emotions we have inside.

    I get that rehab is not for everyone, but I do recommend you see a psychiatrist who specializes in addictions, I think this can help with your panic attacks and your dependency on alcohol. Its important you treat your addictions not only with prescribed medication but also counseling.

    I hope this helps, if you can reduce your drinking slowly, instead of going cold turkey, that will help. Google Selincro and see if this is a medication that you think could help you. If you think it can help talk to your doctor about it. I know its helped me and many other people. Xx

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  • Posted

    Hey Erin54995, You're a treading a well worn path here. I think that it is Human Nature to adapt to our surroundings and if we find a way to make it more comfortable then we would be fools not to try it? Especially if it's legal with billions of £'s going on promoting it every Year. Then it works so we take more as more is better? Then we get scolded for getting hooked on trying to feel normal the best way we know how.

    Your dopamine levels have tried to even themselves out, even if you were to abstain from Drugs and Drink safely, it would still take quite a while before to start feeling "normal", getting your dopamine boost from doing natural activities. So to have any success, I think you are going to have to get something to swap it with. What can help you with your Social Anxiety and Panic Attacks? If you say it runs in the Family, you could well need some medication to help with a Chemical imbalance............Here is where we hit a problem as most GPs are reluctant to medicate anyone with dependency on any substance and referral to a Mental Health Specialist is likely to take Months, what are we supposed to do? It's catch 22.

    Your letter certainly reminds me of myself, and I remember very clearly that the thought of life without drink/drugs would be unbearable, what is there that you can swap it with?

    For a lot of People, things like AA and Rehab work very well, but for others it can seem too Cult like. So what can you swap it with? What can you do? You need to have fun discovering what you like doing, find out what helps for you. Rehab didn't work, that's not to say that the next thing you try won't have more luck. How can you deal with the horrible discomfort of sobriety? Remember it will take a while for your pleasure responses to get back to normal, might have to go through the motions for a while before you regulate. But the main thing here is to have an action plan of what you want to do, get your anxiety seen to and find an alternative to drink/drugs (easier said than done I know), you will find lots of people to help on here.

    Do you mind asking what your Drug of choice is? Is it a physical dependency? Do you want to quit or do you think that you could just cut down? I also held jobs whilst drinking Vodka, trust me when I say that if you work with anyone else, they can or will smell it.....How would you tame your drinking if you were to do it Tomorrow? What would your ideal Life situation be like? Hope you find your answers, AL Xx

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    • Posted

      i don't know how the medical industry is in the UK but here in Spain and when I used to live in the U.S psychiatrists give out prescription medication like candy. If Erin needs medication for her anxiety and/or panics attacks, she should be able to get it, that's what medication is for, specially if it's a hereditary condition. If one has to exaggerate a bit to get it, then so be it.

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    • Posted

      Yeah it's a little different over here if you are using the NHS, Meds come out of their Budget as patients only pay a flat fee per item (about £10), once you are marked as having substance misuse then they don't like giving out helpful medication if it also has addictive qualities in itself. They also recognise that much medication can have a negative affect if used in conjunction with Alcohol or Street Drugs. I've never used the system in the States, but it comes across as a much more "Corporate" affair to me?

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  • Edited

    Look into naltrexone and The Sinclair Method. It will help you to reduce your drinking over a period of months (as opposed to trying to remain sober with the risk of relapse which often happens when someone is trying to deal with other emotional stuff).

    This combination could work well if you start to look at dealing with your other issues with a person qualified in mental health so they can diagnose what the condition is that is preventing you from living your life, and then treat that at the same time.

    From your post, I am guessing you are in America? If so, please google C Three Foundation and that will give you all the information you need about The Sinclair Method, and help you to find a doctor to assess if using this treatment is suitable for you. Many of them offer telemedicine appointments so that you can get started regardless of any lockdown situation you might be in.

    You've made a great move to look at seeking help, and you should know that proper, evidence-based treatment is out there!

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  • Posted

    thank you for the replies; took me a couple days to have courage to look. I was on klonopin for 8 years and the best thing to ever happen to me was to get off them. I now take 10 mgs of propranolol which is a joke but it does help with heart rate. my mirtazapine for depression isn't working because of alcohol. my primary care physician isn't kind. I asked for help with changing meds and he asked me about my die 6 years ago and stopped listening. I've done therapy. I can't afford it now with my deductable. last session I had 5 years ago i spent my sessions waiting for their computer to reboot. lol. I know all therapist are different. anyways, I'm gonna quit on my own. done it before. I thought ants were crawling on me. it will be hard. not for good. just cut down to weekends. gotta love the way I think just weekends!

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  • Posted

    die is d.w.i.

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  • Posted

    pistal- alcohol is all I do. it's physical and. mental. if I go to bed without drinking vodka I will lay awake for days with abdominal cramps ,hallucinations mildly, and a clenched tongue and throat because that is hit by alcohol the most

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