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16 and dealing with depression?

Posted , 4 users are following.

josied
josied

I am 16 years old, I have been depressed for a fair few years now. I know I am young and many people will believe that I am too young to think I have depression but I don't think that's the case. I went to the doctors about it around a week or so ago and the doctor said there was nothing she could do except put me over to therapy sessions which I know would not help me, she said I am too young for anti-depressants.

I was bullied in primary school for my last year and a half of school and had to leave because my school wasn't helping me or dealing with it, I then got bullied every year in senior school and couldn't even attend my prom because I was so ill and worried. Although being bullied has effected me, I don't think that it could be my cause for depression.

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he can make me extremely low at times although he is the only person to be able to make me as happy as he does when I am at my happiest, being only 17 he knows how to deal with it just about as much I do which isn't much good because I don't know how to deal with it at all. I was so bubbly and happy before and during the first year of our relationship. I don't want to blame our relationship on the way I feel despite the fact we are arguing more lately, when we argue he calls me names and I know it's only a thing of the moment and he has told me he feels bad about it after even though he never apologises (he also told me he hates apologising), I just never forget what he's said or called me, it's never anything to put me down about my appearance, just general words. I never forget what he says though, it just rings over and over in my head and even if one of my friends were to name call me on myself or my looks it wouldn't affect me yet he does?

I have a reasonably good bond with my family. I get along fine with my older sister most of the time and I get along with her long-term partner as well, I get along with my dad fine except when I get moody. Me and my mum always argue though, I feel as though she is on my case a lot more than both my older and younger sisters, I know it's probably because of my age and she is only looking out for me but any bit of criticism from her I take to heart (same with my boyfriend and the rest of my family) and I snap and then don't come out of my room, I don't get along with my little sister well at all and I'm not sure if it's because she had whooping cough when she was born so we wasn't really able to bond and she got all of everyone's attention, I just don't know I know I love her because when anything happens I'm the first one there to see if she's okay I just can't work out why we never get along. I know I have a good family who I can be close with and we do all have a good joke yet why do I constantly feel so left out and different?

Sometimes there are causes to my low moods but most of the time I am just generally unhappy, I don't believe it's hormones as nobody of my age feels quite how I do. I would do anything to go back to that lively, bubbly and happy girl I was 3 years ago but I just don't think that's possible any more.

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • flower82
    flower82

    Posted

    Morning,

    Hun you have absolutely touched my heart, i just want to reach out and hug you. I am actually really pleased that your doctor hasn't just dished out anti - d's, i know you perhaps feel like that we make you back to your normally bubbly self but personally i really do disagree!

    Im currently stuck in bed as im going through hell withdrawing from anti depressants, don't get me wrong they did help but i honestly think they just made me numb to life, masked the underlying problem!

    Why dont you think therapy would help? you really do need to consider trying or maybe try and find a group for low mood, this way you will meet people who know and understand what your going through, take it from somebody with experience, it does help.

    Sounds like you love your boyfriend, maybe his name calling etc is his way of trying to deal with the situation, what you need is support and understanding from him so i think he would benefit from perhaps coming to a therapy sesssion with you, maybe read some books on low mood.

    I never got along with my mum (spoke in 4 years now) but i do have a lovely sister and it seems you do to so why not tell her how your feeling or let her read what you have wrote?

    I don't want to patronize you and say its hormones but just because your friends dont feel like you do, we are all very different.

    It seems you wear your heart on your sleeve hun, i think that if you can improve your self esteem and not take things to heart (easier said than done, i know) i think you will start to feel better.

    S0 ...... chat to your sister, tell your boyfriend that what he say hurts, and try therapy ..... good luck xxxx

  • QACab
    QACab

    Posted

    I often wondered If I had depression when I ws growing up. I avoided talking to people. Was unbelievably upset every day, very shy, did everything by myself, sat in a dark room listening to moody music and felt like the whole world was against me. When I look back now I think all I wanted was somone to talk to about it all and have somone understand what I was feeling and give me some guidance. I'm still suffering with depression now but If I had the guts to spaek to someone about it all then I may have been a different person today. I say give the counsellor a go, they are very friendly understanding peole. They dont judge you and mostly they just listen. Dont be afraid of talking to them and make the most of what ever help is made available to you. For me my life imrpved by itself when I left school. I made new friends who were much better for me and brought me out of my shell, I met girls (this was a major depression causing problem when I was a teenager) and life seemed to improve a little.
  • Doug1253
    Doug1253

    Posted

    Wow, Josie, sounds like you're carrying a WAY heavier load than someone your age should have to. I wouldn't rule out counseling. Don't assume it won't help until you've had a good go at it. I doubt this will make you feel any better (and you've probably heard it before), but it sounds like your boyfriend is giving you a hard time to a degree it could be considered abuse. You should seriously consider getting out of that relationship and meet some new people. It's not particularly 'healthy' to tie yourself down with one person from age 12 on. Your body and your brain are going through tremendous changes in these years, as are his, and some people have a hard time adjusting to some of those, alterations.

    Much as it would be nice if you could get along with your younger sister, it's WAY more important that you focus, now, on getting along better with yourself. The fact that you feel depressed indicates there are things in your relationship with yourself you're not happy with -- at least that's my 'amateur opinion'. But that's what counseling can help you sort out. Please DO have a go at it.

  • Doug1253
    Doug1253

    Posted

    Something else, Josie: I thought I just got from Tony's note: In a group counseling environment, you'd be with others close to your age and you'd learn from their experiences AND, as important, you'd more clearly understand that you are FAR from alone in feeling depressed at a young age. I certainly was, and I did a lot of 'acting out' because of it. A number of years of therapy helped me a lot.

  • josied
    josied

    Posted

    I would like to thank everyone for their responses. It was lovely to read that some people do understand me. As much as I'd love to go to counselling just because all of you say it will benefit me I have to admit I know I wont and I am looking for other ways to make myself feel better.

    Another problem I have is: I know I am mature for my age but I just feel like everyone I come across (my age) is just completely selfish? Like I started a new job today and it was the worst experience yet my boyfriend went to the gym then ignored me for an hour and went out with his friend and hasn't even heard about it? I just feel like if it was the other way round I would be there for him in an instant. It's not just him obviously, literally everyone I know couldn't care less either. Is this just me and my mind thinking all this or is this the way my generation are? I know I over-think things way too much and I care too much and I shouldn't need to rely on anyone at my age but I do and I wish I could snap out of it!

  • pdiddy283
    pdiddy283

    Posted

    Reading your post has had a touching effect on me, it's similar to what I've experienced with my wife and family as a whole, I felt so low I had no one to turn to my brothers didn't really care they were much older me, they were too busy in their own lives. I had to undergo counselling and I believe it did pay off, it helped me control some of my mood swings. The good thing is you've got your family, a sister whom you have a good bond with. Bullying is something I'd been through but I've forgotten about it, and thought about my career. The best way to overcome it is think about yourself, what you've achieved and what you wish to achieve, secondly you've got your boyfriend and your family for support something I didn't have. With this you'll establish a sense of belief, confidence will rise, live and enjoy your life.
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