17 and 99% sure I have genital herpes. How do I cope with this?

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I've yet to see a doctor but I plan to do that shortly. Last Thursday, I noticed a lump on my outer labia. Everywhere down there was inflamed and sore. At first, I thought it was a yeast infection as I had trouble urinating and I also had oral thrush. I put this down to the fact that I had only finished a line of antibiotics recently, just last week. Yet, since then, I've gone on to notice more lumps. They're red and are fairly deep. Only now are they beginning to get painful and scab over. At first, they were all strictly separate, some scattered across my pubic area etc but I've recently noticed a few together. What upsets me the most is how I've only ever had one sexual partner. We were both virgins before all this. I know from talking to him that he's had cold sores before. The only way I could've got it was through oral sex even though he didn't have a cold sore at the time... knowing my luck, that's what caused it. I never knew you could get type 1 herpes this way and it breaks my heart to think I'm left with this for the rest of my life. I'm not promiscuous or dirty. This is my first ever boyfriend and we were taking things slow and using protection (I'm on birth control). Right now, all I want is treatment to help the pain and the itch even if that means getting the diagnosis. Some part of me still wants to believe it's a side effect of the antibiotics or a reaction to a hot tub I was recently in. How do I tell him? I don't want him to feel any sort of guilt because I don't see our direct fault in any of this. I'm terrified this will change things between us. I understand it will sexually but I pray our relationship will stay unchanged. How do I remain positive right now? I know it seems like I'm jumping the gun here but the spots are definitely in line with herpes. I struggle to see how anyone could desire me with this. Will I ever be able to cuddle with him naked again or lie with him after sex without the need to cover up? Understandably, not when I'm having outbreaks. This is of course, if he stays with me and wants to continue the sexual side of things.

I'm sorry for blabbering on I just really needed to get stuff out. I'm so heartbroken...my life feels like an actual joke. The first time I ever heard of a dental dam was when I began to search my symptoms a few days ago. I feel so stupid in myself.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    One you not sure what it is so no self   Diagnosis.  The other thing is if it’s that take the I feel dirty out of your mouth although I understand how you feel it’s society pressure which have you feeling this way.   As for how wood he feel the more important thing is how are you feeling. Sit and have a conversation with you boyfriend if you all are going to be in a relationship honest conversations are part of that relationship. He also has to get tested we already know based on the information you provided that he had type 1, however getting tested will  solidify  It.  Also I have had type 1 cold sores for the greater part of my life and never passed it on to any one. Therefore it might be that it’s the  antibiotics you were taking which caused you to have problems down there.  Good luck and keep us posted 
  • Posted

    Emily it is important you go to the doctor to get checked. Does it hurt to pee?
  • Posted

    I know it’s hard not to freak out but I would get tested before you freak out any more. Go get a swab test ASAP. U can do that at ur gyno or urget care, hospital, etc. The sooner the better ! u can talk to him & tell him that’s what u think it is but I’d get tested first to be sure. 

  • Posted

    Also, even if you do have it don’t automatically think ur relationship is over. I’m still with my boyfriend & we still love eachother & are intimate as much as we can be (unless I’m having a painful outbreak then I’d hold off) also, Iv had to tell more then one person about it & not one of them has acted different, Every single one of them has told me they would still date me (if I was single) it’s just finding the right person & making sure they understand the disease & if they don’t accept it they just aren’t the right person for u 

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