17 and 99% sure I have genital herpes. How do I cope with this?
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I've yet to see a doctor but I plan to do that shortly. Last Thursday, I noticed a lump on my outer labia. Everywhere down there was inflamed and sore. At first, I thought it was a yeast infection as I had trouble urinating and I also had oral thrush. I put this down to the fact that I had only finished a line of antibiotics recently, just last week. Yet, since then, I've gone on to notice more lumps. They're red and are fairly deep. Only now are they beginning to get painful and scab over. At first, they were all strictly separate, some scattered across my pubic area etc but I've recently noticed a few together. What upsets me the most is how I've only ever had one sexual partner. We were both virgins before all this. I know from talking to him that he's had cold sores before. The only way I could've got it was through oral sex even though he didn't have a cold sore at the time... knowing my luck, that's what caused it. I never knew you could get type 1 herpes this way and it breaks my heart to think I'm left with this for the rest of my life. I'm not promiscuous or dirty. This is my first ever boyfriend and we were taking things slow and using protection (I'm on birth control). Right now, all I want is treatment to help the pain and the itch even if that means getting the diagnosis. Some part of me still wants to believe it's a side effect of the antibiotics or a reaction to a hot tub I was recently in. How do I tell him? I don't want him to feel any sort of guilt because I don't see our direct fault in any of this. I'm terrified this will change things between us. I understand it will sexually but I pray our relationship will stay unchanged. How do I remain positive right now? I know it seems like I'm jumping the gun here but the spots are definitely in line with herpes. I struggle to see how anyone could desire me with this. Will I ever be able to cuddle with him naked again or lie with him after sex without the need to cover up? Understandably, not when I'm having outbreaks. This is of course, if he stays with me and wants to continue the sexual side of things.
I'm sorry for blabbering on I just really needed to get stuff out. I'm so heartbroken...my life feels like an actual joke. The first time I ever heard of a dental dam was when I began to search my symptoms a few days ago. I feel so stupid in myself.
0 likes, 4 replies
debbie07494 Guest
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jay78441 Guest
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ashley78942 Guest
Posted
I know it’s hard not to freak out but I would get tested before you freak out any more. Go get a swab test ASAP. U can do that at ur gyno or urget care, hospital, etc. The sooner the better ! u can talk to him & tell him that’s what u think it is but I’d get tested first to be sure.
ashley78942 Guest
Posted
Also, even if you do have it don’t automatically think ur relationship is over. I’m still with my boyfriend & we still love eachother & are intimate as much as we can be (unless I’m having a painful outbreak then I’d hold off) also, Iv had to tell more then one person about it & not one of them has acted different, Every single one of them has told me they would still date me (if I was single) it’s just finding the right person & making sure they understand the disease & if they don’t accept it they just aren’t the right person for u