2 1/2 week post Trimalleolar and ligament surgery. Feeling very deoressed
Posted , 6 users are following.
April 1st (fools day!!!), Whilst enjoying a lovely walk along beach, bumble bee got caught in my hair and I spun around to get it out next thing on ground with searing pain and nausea. A&E , X-rays, manipulation (unsuccessful) then informed neeed ORIF surgery following day. Initially told it was Bi Maleolar Break with ligament involvement. 6 weeks NWB.
Post op check yesterday and told I actually had a Tri Malleolar fracture so potentially longer healing time? And then area of wound on lateral sde hasn't healed and you could actually see head of one of the screws, luckily no infection but Dr concerned so back in two rather than four weeks.
Its really hit me hard how dependant this makes me, I'm a nurse and usually a very Independent woman. I'm staying with partner as I also have a dog who needs walking etc. I'm missing my home and doing things without thinking or having to ask for help. Didn't want to get up this morning, very poor sleep(can't get comfortable & discomfort ) , don't feel like aging (but know I need to).
i know depression, low mood normal but it's still hard to come to terms with and that this isn't going to a quick process.
i worrying about work(sickness reviews etc)
worry how long I'll be with limited mobility
then there's the guilt for being down in the dumps and impact of those around and the guilt that at end of day it's something that will heal and isn't life threatening.
id love to hear from anyone who has had a Tri Malleolar fracture/ break and your experiences.
x
0 likes, 10 replies
patti123 hazel27855
Posted
Hi Hazel- Most people who have this are very down in the dumps week 2, Don't worry - your feelings are totally normal and you will feel a little better every week now. I was on vacation in Hawaii and the hammock I was on fell from the tree- not what I had expected for the first day of vacation! I learned to realize this is a temporary problem and I got a scooter so I wouldn't be needing as much help from others so I wasn't a drain on them. I learned to take my worries here to this site, and to try to be as positive as I could to my family and those around me, because you really want them to want to be with you and to be happy to hang out when they can, because it takes about 4 months to start to feel normal again. You can't hurry ankles but I healed from my trimal totally and now it is a distant memory. Hang in there! We know how you feel. Many of us have been there! You will find so much support here.
Chazma89 hazel27855
Posted
I was where you were last couple of days and it's not nice.
I remember just keep staring at my blood thinning injections thinking this would be easier. The thoughts I had were crazy. And I just snapped out of it as quick as I fell into it.
Worrying does nothing other than cause more worry try not to think about work. And because you're a nurse you deserve to have people look after you.
I know it's hard and there might not seem to be light at the end of the tunnel... there is- just keep your mind busy and try not to worry. Be grateful to everyone who helps you out and remember this don't last forever x
lors23 hazel27855
Posted
I can totally relate to you although mines is something diffrent altogether l had a full ankle fusion done 2 week past on wed. I just was not expecting to feel this helpless and uncomfortable. I have been through a lot of ops in past 2 years as l have developed ostioarthritis 2 years ago out of the blue before that l was a normal 42 year old that worked full time l was also the driver between me and my husband. So in the 1st year l had both hips replaced came home from.hospital with 2 sticks and from minute l got home l was up walking about without my sticks doing my normal things l did.l started driving 4 week after the ops. It did not cause me an disruption on my daily life and then l got left knee replaced as found out l had my left knee replaced in august 16 again l got home with 2 sticks an precticed walking about the house and again it came back to me really quickly. I was recivering yes and in a lot of pain but l could get about ok. Then l developed a pain in my ankle and thought ro myself surley it cant be in my ankle.......but yip it was and the surgeon said l should have my ankle fused it was my best option. It sounded a doddle. He said.it was keyhole surgery where aa my last 3 ops has been major surgery this seemed easy.
How wron was l hazel!!!
The surgery itself was fine it was the aftermath of waking up with a full cast on from.my knee to my toes and gave a set of crutches and told not to put any weight on it nd sent home. I totally struggled as the leg l am using to take my weight is the leg waiting on the knee to be replaced so its not strong at all. Thet gave me a zimmer to of which l had to use to get from toilet to couch. I cried for 3 days solid as l was basically immoblile and doing anything was so hard. I got really depressed yet l had been 3 operations that were so much harder and painful .....none of them had left me this way when l got home. I thought how am l going to get upstairs or washed or wash my hair which was a big thing for me as if l felt my hair was greasy l felt disgusting but after my 3rd day home with a lot of crying and saying l cant deal with this l finally though come on you can do this. I stuggled upstairs with my husbands help and into the bathroom.whete leaned over bath wash my hair and the g good wash and freshen up and dried.my hair.. l felt great...shsttetedbut great. Until then l hsd told nobody to see me as l was teary anf felt disgusting. But l.turned a corner that day and was able to get about with a bit easier with my cruches. I washed my hair every 2nd day and cleaned and changed every day. That was 2 weeks ago and my hospital app was yesterday (wed) to get cast removed and replaced witha moonboot. I though this would be great as it would be a lot lighter and easier........again wrong. I am back to crying as my foot feels so much heavier and bulkier and there is no air getting in at all and because there is a big what l.would calla winter thermal sock on underneath it and it feels so warm and heavy. I agsin am back to crying again as l am sore because they were cleaning it and cutting stiches. And now the boot feels a lot tighter. I am.managing abt with my crutches. But l went to bed and lasted 3hrs and am.now back downstairs in the couch crying becauss for ine it is cooler and l can elevate my leg to higher than my heart as its meant to.stop it from swelling.
So l totally get why your depressed and down as l feel exactly the same. I am used to being independant and jumping in car and
lors23 hazel27855
Posted
I can totally relate to you although mines is something diffrent altogether l had a full ankle fusion done 2 week past on wed. I just was not expecting to feel this helpless and uncomfortable. I have been through a lot of ops in past 2 years as l have developed ostioarthritis 2 years ago out of the blue before that l was a normal 42 year old that worked full time l was also the driver between me and my husband. So in the 1st year l had both hips replaced came home from.hospital with 2 sticks and from minute l got home l was up walking about without my sticks doing my normal things l did.l started driving 4 week after the ops. It did not cause me an disruption on my daily life and then l got left knee replaced as found out l had my left knee replaced in august 16 again l got home with 2 sticks an precticed walking about the house and again it came back to me really quickly. I was recivering yes and in a lot of pain but l could get about ok. Then l developed a pain in my ankle and thought ro myself surley it cant be in my ankle.......but yip it was and the surgeon said l should have my ankle fused it was my best option. It sounded a doddle. He said.it was keyhole surgery where aa my last 3 ops has been major surgery this seemed easy.
How wron was l hazel!!!
The surgery itself was fine it was the aftermath of waking up with a full cast on from.my knee to my toes and gave a set of crutches and told not to put any weight on it nd sent home. I totally struggled as the leg l am using to take my weight is the leg waiting on the knee to be replaced so its not strong at all. Thet gave me a zimmer to of which l had to use to get from toilet to couch. I cried for 3 days solid as l was basically immoblile and doing anything was so hard. I got really depressed yet l had been 3 operations that were so much harder and painful .....none of them had left me this way when l got home. I thought how am l going to get upstairs or washed or wash my hair which was a big thing for me as if l felt my hair was greasy l felt disgusting but after my 3rd day home with a lot of crying and saying l cant deal with this l finally though come on you can do this. I stuggled upstairs with my husbands help and into the bathroom.whete leaned over bath wash my hair and the g good wash and freshen up and dried.my hair.. l felt great...shsttetedbut great. Until then l hsd told nobody to see me as l was teary anf felt disgusting. But l.turned a corner that day and was able to get about with a bit easier with my cruches. I washed my hair every 2nd day and cleaned and changed every day. That was 2 weeks ago and my hospital app was yesterday (wed) to get cast removed and replaced witha moonboot. I though this would be great as it would be a lot lighter and easier........again wrong. I am back to crying as my foot feels so much heavier and bulkier and there is no air getting in at all and because there is a big what l.would calla winter thermal sock on underneath it and it feels so warm and heavy. I agsin am back to crying again as l am sore because they were cleaning it and cutting stiches. And now the boot feels a lot tighter. I am.managing abt with my crutches. But l went to bed and lasted 3hrs and am.now back downstairs in the couch crying becauss for ine it is cooler and l can elevate my leg to higher than my heart as its meant to.stop it from swelling.
So l totally get why your depressed and down as l feel exactly the same. I am used to being independant and jumping in car and
lors23 hazel27855
Posted
I am.here if you.need vent or just talk but l totally get you as after the past years all the bad news and operstions this is honestly the worst l have felt coming home from.hospital as l feel trapped and cant do the things l want.
Laura
X
hazel27855 lors23
Posted
Thank you all who have replied. It really does help to know I'm not alone in the ups and downs of recovery.
I'm having a better day today, had to drag myself out of bed yesterday although even putting on clothes seemed a mammoth task but we had friends calling so I HAD to get up and be sociable.
It was good for me to see and talk to my friends as it stopped me dwelling too much on what I can't do right now.
Today's been ok but OMG feeling tired all day and I feel can't say too much about the tiredness because it's not like I'm doing a lot.
Ankle constantly aching or niggling, toes swelling and turn lovely shade of purple whenever I'm upright (almost match colour of my cast)
Laura you've been through so much, makes my injury pale next to them all.
This forum is good to share experiences and is helping me feel less isolated.
Xx
mary_sue76385 hazel27855
Posted
You will have good days and bad days, but soon...there will be more good days than bad days. My accident was Jan 11, today , April 23, I'm walking around my house unassisted. Pain is minimal but swelling is still bad.
As for your work, I would suggest planning to be gone for awhile. You don't need the added stress of worrying about work. You'll realize everything takes so much more time and you will learn to slow way down.
Best wishes to you !
katie2017 hazel27855
Posted
just to update you, i was told that i would have my external fixator off today, but nope, the surgeon was too busy with a trauma list so wasted the day going there and wasted the month worrying about it and preparing. he's now rearranged for next month 20th may... wow
hazel27855 katie2017
Posted
Oh Katie that's rubbish news, you must have been really gutted. It's a long way off for your next op but I hope they don't cancel again.
I've bought new adult colouring book and pens, picked up my knitting again, trying to be positive but the dark cloud just descends at times, I saw my doctor yesterday and was told as wound still not healing may need more surgery to take out the metal work (25th May potentially).
These ankles are a bother 😕 x
katie2017 hazel27855
Posted
ive been in an external fixator since 21/02/17 im told i will get it off on tuesday but its not 100% because they might have an emergency they need to deal with other something but hopefully tuesday is when i will get it off, then put into a cast. ive been nwb and having to get my mum to do everything for me i literally cant do anything the bathroom is upstairs and theres steps to the property so i cant go out im just stuck in the living room. i had times where i was really angry about the car accident and why did it happen? etc but sh*t happens and you have to get on with it, just think possitivley i know it can be hard but you have to keep your head! look forward to walking my dog when i'm better even if its not a full recovery there are still things to look forward to... i was told by my surgeon that i will have a lifetime of issues with this meaning more ops,pain and limping etc but it could be worse, the crash was so horrible and we could of died. so be thankful that you are somewhat, ok!
also i have depression and im on sertraline maybe try some tablets just to take the edge off, i couldnt live without mine.
try to read and take your mind off it, think of the things you can do! Start writing a book or colouring or crochet etc something productive that you can do.