2 years of mono

Hello,

in April 2016, after almost fainting after swimming, I started to feel a bit weird, spacey, and tired. The doctors told me Im just stressed, so I decided to shrug it off. I was graduating at the time, I attended a few festivals, smoked marijuana, drank. At the end of August I extremely crashed. I didnt know where I am, who I am, who are my parents, it was like I was in coma, could not think AT ALL, but could move if I absolutely had to. I underwent all the possible tests, MRI, EEG, Hormone tests, biopsy of lymph node, and serology for infections like lyme (2x), toxoplasma, yersinia, HIV, syphilis, etc. The only thing that showed up was that I probably had mononucleosis recently, but it was supposed to be over. Since then the feelings have improved, but are still strong enough to prevent me from studying. I missed 2 years of university because of this and this april it would be 2 years since the beginning. Other symptoms were: join pains (not anymore), extreme eye floaters and blurry vision (almost gone), sharp sounds made my ears to "pop" (almost gone), pain in testicles (gone), (sex and masturbation felt weird, ejaculation felt like peeing, no pleasure), on and off low grade fevers (prob. gone), irritation in urethra after peeing(sometimes still now), sweat and urine had this weird smell like pasta (still have it) lymphadenopathy in groing and neck (still strong), arrhythmia when laying down (milder than before but still), mucus in the back of the throat (still), and the worst- extreme brain fog (still have it but much milder than in the begining) and extreme fatigue (still sometimes)

I must admit that I have some days that I consider good and few moments where I feel like before, but most of the time I still feel it, and I am exhausted and run down. Then every week there is some kind of relapse, where I feel really weird, disoriented like in the beginning, then I crash with extreme fatigue, and the following 2-3 days I feel like I have poison in my blood, sweating that smelly sweat and feeling like s**t. During these days I experience extreme depression, and I had experienced extreme anxiety which went away. However, they are not caused by the bad feeling I experience, but rather direct effect of the virus. I know those feelings are superficial and go away soon, but they overlap my normal thinking. After the relapse I feel super good for a few moments and then back to the mediocre symptoms.

The worst part now is that I fear that either I will never get better, or that it is something else than mono, since I did not get official diagnosis. I was just told by few doctors that I had it sometime when my symptoms started but it could no longer be it so long after. Other doctors said it could be it. I am so lost, tired and sad. Fortunately, over the 2 years there was no time when it would not be improving.

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