2 years on and pulling hair!

It is likely that CFS-type symptoms can result from a range of causes, many of which are not well understood or readily identifiable. The timing could indicate that bereavement played aa role, or it could not. Regardless, I don't think it's fair for you to be feeling guilty about your health - whatever the cause, that can only make you feel worse.

Sory I don't really have any advice - best wishes though.

Hi, I obviously can't tell you whats wrong, but I can tell you that you are not imagining it.  Our stories start out very differently, but I have similar progress and thoughts to you in as much as sometimes I can do more and yet other times I can do practically nothing (am also currently awaiting an appointment with a rheumatologist).  

The times where I feel better I start to wander if i'm imagining it, or perhaps I could cope better in the bad times if I just tried harder.  But then when the fatigue and pain hit you really hard again, you realise that would be impossible.  I'm doing much better these days, getting up earlier and doing more throughout the day, but I still tire easily and take regular breaks and I still get my really bad days where I can't get out of bad early due to spine/neck pain and/or headache, but they are fewer than previously.  

My other half has his own business which I am hoping to get myself to a point where I can join him in the future, even if just on a part time basis or helping out to take the pressure off.  Until recently he was also taking the strain around the house a lot, he enjoys cooking and still does a fair bit, but im glad i have been able to take on more on a daily basis, as I know what you mean about feeling guilty, its a useless ugly feeling, but you just can't help it.  You feel like you should be able to do more, but then come the days (or weeks/months) where you just don't even have the energy to try. 

It's not you and it's not just in your head.  Yes you have been through an awful lot and i'm sure it has played its part, but you have done all the right things to try and get yourself back into the swing of things, it sounds to me like you have tried all you can and thats all anyone can ask of you.  

I manage my symptoms with a very low carb/sugar diet, but I stress it is only managing my symptoms and not curing me.  I don't necessarily believe starches/sugars are causing the problem, my best guess is that processing it is possibly just an extra stress on my system that my body doesn't cope with very well.  I know there are differing opinions on this diet (and of course its not the answer for everyone anyway) but its helping for now, my insomina which I have suffered for years has gone away almost completely and i'm actually partaking in mornings these days.  It can still take me 2 or 3 hours to feel like i want to be part of the world, but at least when that process begins at 7am rather than 10 I get to see more of the days, i'm thankful for that at least.  

I hope we both get some answers from the rheumatologist even if whatever it is just going to be helping and not fixing.  Good luck

dear Padiwhack, it does seem possible that you have a second bout of CFS/ME and maybe mild Fybro if there is such a thing as mild Fybro.

I would suggest you browse the Group's Discussions. It will give you a good impression of the breadth of symptoms as well as the most common ones. Not pushing yourself does seem to be a universal component of recovery.

Self doubt is a frequent stressor. Yet the evidence for the reality of CFS/ME is extremely well attested by a huge number of praviously healthy, energetic and well motivated people. That such people should choose to be lazy is abserd. That medical people should still think so is a disgrace but it can be said in mitigation but not exoneration that there is nothing in their box of pills that deals with this horrible ailment.

I wish you success in your research and the patience and fortitude to make a good recovery.

Hello Paddiwhack;   I think the first reply that you will receive from ALL of us, is that NO, it's not in your head ! For myself, you seem to have gone down the Exact same path as I....you know that there is "something" wrong with you, but just can't find an answer, and go through ALL the testing that is available to the Health Industry, including Lumbar Puncture for MS, etc etc; and still no definitive answer...but you know....and yes, this forum, and all the knowledgeable people will guide you, and support you,  for there are quite a few who do their own research, and take info to their GPs and Voila...you come away with an answer to your questions/feelings.  Your symptoms, and tiredness certainly sound similar to mine...and I know that I fit into Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue; and although some doctors don't agree totally with these diagnosises, you yourself will know...keep typing to us, and work through your feelings .....hear back soon...Bro