20 years of depression, OCD & fatigue. Help!

Posted , 2 users are following.

I'm a 22-year-old man diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. For nearly 20 years I've suffered from major depression, OCD, debilitating fatigue and complete physical and emotional numbness. It takes me an hour to get out of bed in the morning because my legs won't lift. I try my hardest, then relax for a few seconds and then try again, over and over until it finally works. I'm on sick leave from school because of all of this. I've tried both SNRI and SSRI medications, as well as various anti-anxiety medications, with no success. I've even had 10 sessions of electroconvulsive therapy with no success as far as my depression goes; the OCD, however, has gone away a bit. Today me and my mother met my doctor who explained to us that my depression is psychologically based rather than biological and that it will go away even though it doesn't feel like it. I can't believe the last thing he said. How is it supposed to go away if it's existed for 20 years without ever getting any better? How much longer should I have to wait for my overall mental and physical well-being to improve? He's now decided not to give me any more ECT sessions. He even said it's not my fault. How is it not my fault? I understand that mental illnesses can be complex in nature. It would be nice if someone could explain how my depression could be psychological, especially if it's not my fault. I would also like to know what I can personally do to make my situation better. Has anyone been in my situation? For how long, maybe? Maybe not with the AS but at least the depression and debilitating fatigue.

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  • Posted

    Hi from what you have said you had depression from the age of 2? I thought it would be impossible to have it whilst still a toddler?

    Whilst depression can be genetic it can also strike out of the blue for no obvious reason and the debate on nature versus nature is still raging. I don't understand your thinking saying if it is psychological then it must be your fault? How can it be? Did you deliberately set out to get depression? Was it your ambition in life? No of course not so it isn't your fault any more than it is anyone else's whether more genetic based or random.

    I think you need to get yourself some talking therapy which may be able to help you deal with your issues. Like I said depression can seemingly strike out of the blue but there is usually psychological reasons which you need to uncover and deal with. Therapy should help with this. There is also a lot of reading on the net so why not have a look and this should help you learn more about depression. x

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    • Posted

      Oh forgot to add that OCD is a symptom of anxiety which is unfortunately quite common. Again therapy can help you get to the root of your anxiety as well. x

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    • Posted

      Even if I didn't intend to get depressed, couldn't it still be my fault? We all have a free will, and we choose what to do with that free will. Sometimes we need to choose a direction out of several ones, and due to lack of knowledge, we pick a bad direction.

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    • Posted

      We all make bad choices sometimes - that's because we are human! Would you blame yourself if for example you had diabetes? Would you say this is because you don't eat very well? This could be seen to be your fault as well. How about getting fat? Sometimes this happens and it is because of events outside our control. Or any other things us humans are subject too.

      Having depression isn't something you can foresee when you make a decision but is part of understanding ourselves. It is not because of a flaw or weakness in you you know! I think you are being far too hard on yourself so just accept it as something which can happen and not something you have much control over. x

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