1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

20 years old, no friends or purpose in life social anxiety.

Posted , 4 users are following.

Guest
Guest

I've moved multiple times since I was 14 years old. The first time I changed schools I was a new student. My parents never raised me to be confident, I've been a introvert since I was a kid. Changing schools for the first time was very difficult and I had no friends. I only had a few conversations about school with other students time to time but that was it. We moved again when I  was 16, my parents and me moved to another country (India). I had a extremely hard time in this new country because I couldn't speak the language spoken there well, and my parents put me in the worst school possible. I became very lonely and stayed in my room most of the time. In fact, school became so hard for me because of the culture shock that I decided to be  home schooled for for my senior year of high school. Also my parents were pretty much moving for no reason, they only moved both times because they felt like it, completely ignoring what I was going through. My parents eventually decided to move back to america, because my dads business wasn't doing well. When I moved back I had to go to a community college where I have been for the past 2 years. I still have no friends and concentrate on my college work all the time. I don't go out anywhere because of my social anxiety . I have no friends at all, no girlfriend and i'm still a virgin. I even joined a boxing club for a couple of months, but stopped going because I was so quiet and couldn't communicate the way all of the others in the club did.  The first couple of quarters my grades in college were also below average, because I was so depressed. Since then I have been doing much better and my grades have gotten better A's and B's. But that's only because I spend all my time studying because I don't know what else to do. To make matters worse my little brother, who didn't have to go through everything I did because hes 6 years younger then me, makes fun of me for not having any friends. While my parents tell me that I'm just a lazy loser who is spoiled. I really don't know what to do anymore, my life feels purposeless, no matter how hard I try I always fail. I feel so alone in my family as well, everyone comes to my parents side saying that they did nothing wrong by moving so many times and say i'm just a nobody with mental issues. I know this is kind of long, but I just wanted to let it all out. WHAT DO I DO TO  MAKE THINGS BETTER, I DON'T WANT TO STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER. also I have a pet dog who is my only friend, I spend most of my time with him because he's the only one who makes me feel happy. 

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Guest
    Guest Guest

    Posted

    TJAY - Try not to be so hard on on yourself.   Remember you are not alone.  Some have it waaaay worse.  What I read in your post is that you have hope and expectations for yourself.  Which is something to build on.  Your in college and doing well.  You have a cool dog that gives you unconditional love and attention.  Lets keep fighting, dreaming, planning, and building on that.  Don’t look back on your past and allow it to define you and your future.  Forget about it.  It’s the past.  Maybe you can do a little homework on how to best manage your social anxiety.  Seeing a counselor or therapist may be helpful to get out from under that.  Once that is moving along maybe pickup a job and save some money.  Set some goals and plans.  Anyway I think you get the idea.  You got this!!!!   I’m happy you found this site.  Reading and responding to others you’ll soon see that everyone (young and old) are connected and have a lot in common.  We are all just trying survive and make the best of our journies.  Everyone has problems.  Everyone has had an imperfect upbringing or something.  And that’s how life is.  Just gotta do everything you can with the time you have on earth.  Your 20!  Thats awesome!  So what are you going to with all that time?  I say go do something cool!!   I wish you well...  
  • rose98416
    rose98416 Guest

    Posted

    Far from a loser. My mother also is angry at her mother for moving her to london from wales when she was 8 years of age. My mother found it really difficult also. She is now 56 and still bitter about it. All this only happened to you in the last 6 years. Your strong enough to still go to college even with social anxiety. So push yourself that little bit further and join a group or club. Im sure there are loads in your college. To beat anxiety you haveto push yourself. You have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to make it more tolerable. Otherwise how else does it get better? Im petrified to left alone with my son whenmy partners works his night shifts and thats because i have extreme health anxiety, panic disorser and GAD. And worry that ill die when no one is home and my son will be left alone until my partner comes back. We all have fears. For the last two nights i pushed myself and stayed home alone with my son. Its now 5:42 am and i am up hyperventilating 😂. But i done it! Just like you need to push yourself and join groups. It doesnt matter about proving people wrong, its about you living a happy life surrounded by friends who care. X

  • Sway
    Sway Guest

    Posted

    Maybe joining an activity at school will help. Or becoming a tutor since your good at school. Being a tutor will introduce you to new people and also help someone.
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.