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I have recently discovered that for almost 20 years I have been what is called binging and purging.
I'm in shock to discover that something I have accepted in myself to be "my normal" is actually a eating disorder.
I haven't binged and purged for the whole time non stop of course there have been moments of non purging causing significant weight gain and leaving me confused as to why I have gained weight, of course without the purge was bound to happen. I'm still very confused as this has all been brought alight to me after recently binging and purging for three whole weeks non stop after not purging for approximately 7-8 months with half the binge.
I have been feeling pretty low lately and I guess I've swayed all my worried just directly over to my weight causing the purging to start again.
I've come to terms with the emotional connection and the food connection and even the purging as to why I do it.
What I'm here to ask really is how do I convince myself to stop, the cravings for the binge are strong and the self discuss after and guilt and self loathe are to depressing to now stop the purge.
I'm ever so confused
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