25 year old regretting foot surgery

I made a regretful decision to do hammertoe surgery and osteotomy of my big toe for toe shortening.

It has led to so many complex problems such as hallux varus of my big toe (opposite of bunion), causing me to now wear extra wide shoes and I can no longer wear sandals because the sandals do not align straight with my feet when I walk.

1. Also my big toe does not bend/curl anymore which I didn't expect. I think I have a torn ligament in the IP joint or bone fracture/damage to phalanx bone which is why my big toes don't bend.
2. My 2nd toes do not bend due to PIP fusion which I have now accepted, however I feel a cracking feeling in my left 2nd toes everytime I walk so I feel like PIP joint is fractured.
3. My toes also have a flimsey feeling when I walk. They jiggle with every step and feel so lose.
4. And finally i can't walk straight or evently, my hips feel awkward when I walk I'm not sure why.

I hate myself for it. All for the sake of vanity - now it has caused me depression, zero apetite and excess weight loss. Wasted £9K for nothing. I feel like I'm too young to have made such a stupid mistake, but also grown enough to have known better. The doctor keeps ignoring me and I just feel so pathethic.

I'm not looking for sympathy, moreso just advise or words of encouragement.

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