2nd time around .....
Posted , 9 users are following.
New to this (any) site, so not sure how to start! I think I've suffered from anxiety most of my life although I didn't recognise it as such until the last few years. As I've become older (now a 54 year old) I think it's actually become worse. At the beginning of last year (2017) after battling seemingly endless illnesses and spending months trying to establish what was wrong with me (headaches, muscular skeletal aches and pains, lack of energy, ringing in ears etc.) I became depressed. Dr (anyone of many - never seem to get the same one twice) suggested that this may all be anxiety related. Started on Sertraline (3 days) at too high a dose and nearly blew my head off. I changed to Citalopram (20mg) and spent 6 weeks off work trying to get through the side effects of elevated anxiety and almost total insomnia. To cut an already long story short I finally began to feel much better and life almost returned to normal (except perhaps for feeling a little numb to most emotions, not simply anxiety). After 6 months I (stupidly) decided that I had recovered sufficiently and could come off. Within 2 or 3 months I was almost back at square 1! I've spent the last 12 months slowly but surely falling apart physically (and now mentally) all over again. I have finally decided I should probably go back on the meds but I can't face going through that 6 weeks of hell I went through last year. I started this morning on 2.5mg (a quarter). So the reason for this monologue is to ask how I should do this in an attempt to avoid the worst of the side effects. Go up by 2.5mg each week until I'm back at 20mg? Anyone had any experience and can help me?
0 likes, 38 replies
marsh23433 john66172
Posted
Hi John,Just too let you know that everybody gets side effects with any medication that you take,citrolopram is a long active medication ,however it just takes time to work in your body and has too build up the resistance which is the main reason it takes 8/10 weeks to work.
john66172 marsh23433
Posted
Marsh, grateful for you taking the time to respond, but, at the risk of alienating myself from everyone, I have to say you really must learn the difference between 'to' and 'too'.
john66172 marsh23433
Posted
Didn't mean to sound rude Marsh. Forgive me!
michelle45874 john66172
Posted
thats childish john we are here to help each other through a difficult journey not pick up on grammar mistakes
lois95799 michelle45874
Posted
so true.
Moaney86 john66172
Posted
Hi,
I'm sorry you are going through this, it's a terrible condition. I see you got through the side effects first time round so who's to say you won't this time? I would start on a dose you want to stay on rather then changing it up every so often as it will prolong side effects for sure.
The biggest lesson I've learned is it's all about will power, if you have none, you won't succeed on this medication. Many a time I wanted to throw the towel in, but I stuck it out and I'm a good 80% closer to where I want to be.
Mindfulness, meditation, audio books, walks this all helped me after I got through the first 4-6 weeks. Before that was family support, therapy, being honest with ppl and time off work. I'm only just going back today since mid July. Don't hide it from them, it only adds to the problem (I know this isn't for everyone though) and my best friend for a while was diazepam.
Whatever you choose to do, this forum will support you along the way when you need to vent 😃
john66172 Moaney86
Posted
Moaney, I hope you got on alright going back to work. I agree with much of what you said and I did a lot of the things you suggested last time around. But I also took 6 weeks off work. This time, whilst I feel the need to go back on the meds, I want to do it more 'quietly'. Without the need to draw attention to myself at work, land those who work for me up to their necks and not freak my son out again. I'm not in a great rush (as Mike pointed out a few days ago) so going to build myself up this time in the same way as I tapered off the first time. Thanks for your message. We all really cope in our own ways don't we? There is no set way of doing this, which makes me think my initial question is redundant. As I said before one of the biggest helps (and reasons that I'm glad I took the plunge to write) is that I feel so less alone. I think I've been trying to cope with anxiety/depression by myself for too long.
Moaney86 john66172
Posted
I understand your decision to keep it to yourself. I only allowed family to know how bad I was for a while. I soon started to talk to friends, work etc and found I was far from alone. Most ppl I spoke to had suffered similar, going through similar or had family going through similar. It's scary how common it actually is. It really helps with my recovery.
If you have had experience with adjusting doses then go with your gut. You'll get a lot of different advice from ppl here but we are all going off our own experiences and it might not best suited for others. I fought the urge to increase my dose when I was starting to struggle again as many ppl advised me to allow it more time. I got so bad that I made a decision to increase from 20-30 with the fear of side effects and I haven't looked back. I had minimal side effects and have been pretty good since. The forum is great but sometimes it can cause you more anxiety I feel when you are at your lowest 😦
Diazepam helped me through the tough days. Just a small dose as I have two young children (1 & 4) and I still needed to function. Maybe it will help you through the next few weeks? Just a thought 😉
Take care,
Simone (Moaney is my childhood nickname 😃 )
john66172
Posted
I actually slept quite well last night so woke up feeling a little more positive. Within 5 or 10 mins a heavy headache started (was that the coffee, being vertical (haha) or just my mind setting off again). However deep down I know I need to do this so I decided to carry on this morning with my 2.5mg (I was all for stopping last night). See how tonight goes!
Moaney86 john66172
Posted
Ride the wave.....it's worth it!! 😉
Cara424 john66172
Posted
I was the editor of a magazine.. There are quite a few mistakes in your post John! Ha Ha keepin it real! I'm actually feeling normal right now. I had to take a lorazapam this afternoon after fighting the anxious stomach all day.
john66172 Cara424
Posted
I just lost a lengthy response (checking a spelling on google - haha)! I was asking whether you'd had analysis of your stomach health - I'm talking stool tests? It was a little expensive but I discovered that, crudely, I had a bad balance of bacteria and low levels of stomach enzymes. Supplements (probiotics and enzymes) appear to have helped me. Doctors tend only to look for disease which is at the extreme end of the spectrum but there's a whole range of issues that could be going on! Just a thought!
Cara424 john66172
Posted
Not yet. I went to a nutritionist who does nutritional response testing. I haven't really been able to focus on my nutrition and gut health because quite frankly I'm so tired and anxious with my stomach that can barely eat at times let alone try to eat healthier right now. So I'm kind up in this never ending loop of despair
john66172
Posted
i should add that whilst i notice that the buzzing head, zombie-like feeling and headache tends to peak at about 4 hours after taking the meds it does tend to get better as the day goes on. Seem to recall from 2 years ago that that was how it went until the body/mind got completely used to the meds. So whilst this morning was a bit tough this afternoon at work was much more manageable. I'm not exaggerating when I say I almost felt a few moments of brief euphoria/actual happiness this afternoon.
mrs_susan74280 john66172
Posted
HI what meads are you on please