3 months on HRT

So in 4 days time I will have been on oestrogel and Utrogestan for 3 months.

A lot has changed for me. Serious depression for around 10 long years lifting at last. I have said this on here before best Christmas in 10 years and actually looking forward to many more.

Horrible anxiety. Now I didn't have a word for this and just kept telling everyone I felt ready to do something, I often felt I just wanted to leave I don't know where I thought I was going to go. But as it began to go I realised I had had this awful tension in my body for ages. My husband had been aware of it in a way for a few years as he was always telling me to relax because he said my shoulders were pulled up. Less than a week into HRT I suddenly kept finding myself feeling very laid back.

About 6 weeks in I had a re emergence of some symptoms that had improved a lot on their own. Feeling sick and yuk and a horrible taste also going to the loo a lot and getting sudden I need to go right now urges and the thirst returned with a vengeance. These had settled back down by 8 weeks in.

I didn't say earlier because I thought it was wishful thinking but my hair top lip and lower arm hair seem to be coming back. I've had to pluck a few stray eyebrow hairs and I haven't had to do that for ? 7 maybe years. I had to buy some new tweezers.

I feel like a woman again instead of a thing (that could be to do with having periods again though).

I have found myself saying a long list of stuff and not um um all the time. I have forgotten my shopping list twice, as I would have done pre peri I just went back over what I had written and came back with everything I needed once and forgot one not so important thing the second time.

Also with the memory I have that few seconds of horror knowing I have forgotten a word but instead of floundering about and resorting to my usual "the yellow thing" after a pause and a deep breath the word is there. This was the way it began early peri, then I used to think it was because I panicked that I'd forgotten the word but it got worse and worse until just before I began the HRT I would give up because it seemed my head was just a big empty space.

Anyway going for a wee it had become on occasions a very weak steam which would sort of dribble everywhere that has gone back to my normal jet and I seem to be able to wait longer and therefore do more when I do go.

I really think my breasts are a bit perkier, I haven't lost any weight so they should be the same but my nipples don't seem to be pointing at the floor quite as badly.

Some aches and pains have gone some haven't and my left shoulder seems actually to be getting worse.

I sometimes feel really cold I know that doesn't sound very exciting but it is for me as I've always been the ice queen and my husband has to fight me off from warming myself on him when I get in bed instead of shooing him away because I'm too hot. I have only had a very few nights when I have had to put an arm out to cool down but that's better than my whole body in and out every 10 minutes.

We have become cuddly again have had sex almost every night so we have regained a closeness that had all but disappeared.

Sex is OK much more comfortable, although he still has a teenage libido he takes longer these days which is nice now but was awful because I was getting so sore after a few minutes and no amount of lubrication alerted that fact.

Orgasms I can get most of the time they are not as strong as they used to be and take a lot longer to get. They had become non existent even with a vibrator. I do use testosterone no one will prescribe it so I just buy it, also tribulus tetris (I read some report that women who take it alongside testosterone reported more frequent and satisfying sexual encounters than those on testosterone alone). Enjoying sex seems to have helped regain some confidence like I said feel like a woman again.

Sleep is still the bane of my life, the first 8 nights on the estrogen I slept perfectly as I had pre peri, no thirst no toilet trips just a refreshing 8 hours, unfortunately it was short lived and I'm back to either laying wide awake (but at least not hot and uncomfortable) or I get to sleep with some difficulty and then wake at 3 and cannot get back to sleep.

I will see if I can try a higher dose of estrogen to see if that helps but I'm still hoping that as it was the first problem I had maybe it will resolve in time.

I'm a lot of the time like I was in early peri. I get a sick feeling or little up tightness a bad taste or spaced out feeling bit of a heart flutter but it's soon over. The taste used to drive me crazy all day every day and heart palpitations for ages.

I'm not sure about fatigue and my constipation is still there and still a bit thirsty on and off.

I used to always be thinking to myself oh I feel so yuk/horrible/sick. now I've had a few times when the thought is oh I feel so normal.

HRT gets my vote. I didn't want to succumb to it but in desperation decided to try for 3 to 6 months. I'm going to take this as long as I can!

Hoping this helps some of you who are considering giving it a go.

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