3 months post IOL Multifocal lens implantation - suicidal

hey

just turned 25, i posted here before when I was a few days post op

i have one lens implanted in my eye. it resulted in blurry far vision and a horrible shaking

the shaking goes away if you fully relax your eyes, but my eyes deviate, double vision. the doctors explanation is that i am compensating for the diopter difference. but still, because the shaking never 100% goes away, its constant flickering and shaking. every second i feel this horrible urge, like this is all a dream. like "okay, we can go back to real life now" then im just here, in my cold dead body. i wander around just tortured by the IOL. i feel it shake inside my head.

the shaking happens whenever the eye is moving and focused. so reading is the worst. ive stopped reading books since, i just lay in bed all day. my girlfriend and i broke up. i just want it to stop

the doctor suggested contacts and does not want to perform on the other eye until we've cleared the issue (which he is taking his sweet time in, after I payed $4000). he perscribed a prescription that doesn't exist. im kind of done at this point. i move to another doctor for his opinion. he gives me an opposite opinion: get another IOL in the other eye.

I can not stand the IOL. it shakes, it flickers. the floaters are ridiculous, it's not just "annoying" there are four layers of all-across-vision floaters and strands that are constantly in the way of seeing. I do not want these effects duplicated on the other eye. I would rather have them legally blind me in the IOL eye. I don't know what to do. every operation risks making worse a condition that i have called Visual Snow. It's purely neurological but has me seeing static in front of my eyes. Doctors do not even know about this condition.

I've decided that if I can not solve this issue soon, I will leave the Earth.

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