3 weeks and tension is unbearable

Posted , 7 users are following.

At the beginning of April I had a rough life event (my husband cheated on me while being drunk) and since then I am struggling with myself. First I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, we had loong talks about what happened and us and so on...Unfortunately the derealization came along so I resorted to professional help. I got Cital and today is day 20. Gosh, I had all the side effects - starting with heightened anxiety, nausea, foggy mind, dizziness and now - I have totally stuck throat:( I mean when I talk I have like a blocade, like I am trying to sound naturally but it sounds tensed. I feel strange even talking to my work colleagues with whom I had always great laughs. Today I also got negative thoughts about myself (which I never have!) and I don't know if it is due to the citalopram or the self-confidence drop I could get from the situation...

I don't know if I should stop the drug (not cold turkey but gradually) or let it work...But how long? When do I take decision enough is enough?

I am starting to think maybe I should drop Cital and try natural things - sports, meditation, counseling (I am doing it anyway already), 5-HTP...As my depression (?) is due to some event - maybe I should rather try to overcome it by myself, live through that, let emotions flow...? What I am worried about is that the pill will only mask the problem and delete emotions I have to express sooner or later...On the other hand - I feel really low now, with the throat blocade I feel more and more lonely as contact with other people is not fun anymore and I have to function somehow...I work, have 2 children...I want to be happy again.

I wish that inner tension would leave me...I will embrace all the emotions, even hard ones - but I have to feel myself to do that. Right now i DO NOT feel myself and it hurts so much.

Did you have similar experience with Cital? Will it take the tension away?

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  • Posted

    I forgot to write I started with 10mg and after 9 days I increased to 20mg

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  • Posted

    Sounds to me like you were having a totally normal response to something tragic happening in your life in the beginning before starting the Citalopram. I myself can sympathize with almost everything that you are feeling now that you have taken it, all the numbness, brain fog, high anxiety, the hyper focusing like the throat issue, all of it, I went through all of that too! I think or know now that the 20mg was just too high for me and since decreasing I have felt better then I have in years, and I'm hoping it continues! Possibly speak to your doctor about reducing, at least try to for 6-8 weeks and see how you feel because we all know its a guessing game on the right dosage for everyone. As far as withdrawl from the decrease I personally didn't notice much if any at all side effects from it. And being that you have only been on it for 20 days I would assume it would be the same for you.

    Best Wishes! You will get through this, I've been exactly where you are right now. 😃

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    • Posted

      Grounded, thank you so much for the answear! Did you really had the throat issues that you speak and the voice is tensed, not natural? I feel blocked, liked somebody closed me in some shell I cannot escape... Gosh, I thought derealization was worse but then I could at least speak normally...I will try 15mg as I am very slim (54kg and 168cm currently) and 20mg may be too strong for me..I think. When you decreased the dose after what time did you notice improvement?

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    • Posted

      i think everyone is different some get bad withdrawals some get a little some get none, but apparently withdrawal is worse below 10mg i have had everything you mention plus 100s of other things x

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    • Posted

      yes, I felt like there was something in my throat, a lump, odd feelings. What is happening is, this anxiety is causing you to hyper focus it and the thoughts can actually cause physical symptoms.

      To be honest, everyone is different in the time they respond to these meds, but I actually started to feel better within a few days after reducing, and trust me I know that people say a few days that can't happen but it did, and I've been through soo much with all this and meds and yes that is how long it took before I noticed a change, and now after 3 weeks each day is better and for longer. I do still have small flare ups of the feelings but my mind is way more at ease and they leave quickly.

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    • Posted

      You give me hope:) So you started to have decreased anxiety after few days and the throat issues went away? Sounds great. I think we are more sensitive to the doses and our bodies adapt longer time. I read that therapeutical dosage is 20mg so maybe we have to start gradually before we come to that.

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    • Posted

      Yes soon as the anxiety started getting better so did all those weird symptoms I was focusing on and making me feel worse. Doctors do say theraputic dose is 20 mg, but every single person is different, and its hard for the doctors whom have never taken it to know so can't really blame them, but coming from people who are all too familiar with this I think many people are put on a dose too high initially and they feel so awful they give up. I started at 10mg and after 5 weeks since they doctor didnt see a lot of real progress she upped it to 20mg, first of all I truly believe that 5 weeks is not near enough time to know if it is working, I'd say more like 8-12 just to start to have a little relief, and much longer before you can actually see it yourself. But the small waves of relief is what keeps you pushing forward with is so it's not AS bad getting through day by day. You can do this! 😃 And if you have gotten the all clear from the doctors just keep telling yourself its just the anxiety and let the meds work on that, and you will start to notice them not coming at all or leaving as quickly as they come.

      Best Wishes@!

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  • Posted

    Stick it at, but if it gets too much drop the dose by 2.5mg.

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  • Posted

    hi

    i feel your pain im wondering the same i feel lower on cital 20 mg than i did befire been on it 4 weeks and no improvement yet .

    im not sure what to do ?

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  • Posted

    A month has passed on 20mg and as raised anxiety has passed - till yesterday I feel depressed. I didn't feel that low even before taking citalopram! I don't know if it is me or the meds and if I am getting worse instead of better...Did anyone have such side effect as feeling of huge sadness while taking citalopram? I am not a depressive person, I have never been...I was anxious sometimes but never SO sad, SO low...I don't know if I should stay on cital or try to change...?

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    • Posted

      It will pass, you will go through small waves of that while the medications is leveling out in your system. Just try to be patient, and before you know it you should be having more good days then bad, and feel better.

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    • Posted

      I had a little nausea for about 6 weeks, it'll get better. Try to make sure you eat a little something in the morning, and try to eat a healthy diet, It really does help.

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    • Posted

      THANK you! I am not afraid of anxiety as I know it. i know how to handle that and I know it is "only" anxiety. But this depressive state.. gosh. I got scared. it id not me, i have never been like that before. i hope it passes and never comes back...Grounded - you also had that?

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    • Posted

      I did, I've been through the anxiety, the depression, and more! I originally started the citalopram for anxiety and panic attacks, but after taking it in the beginning I went through a lot of other things that I didn't have prior, but that was all while the medications were adjusting, once they get settled it all feels so much better. Just keep moving forward, and keep telling yourself that it's just a wave coming in and will go back out 😃

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