30yr old desperate, lonely and suicidal
Posted , 21 users are following.
im at my breaking point! im 30 and i have nothing! i really mean nothing! i live with my mum and stepdad i dont work, i dont leave the house hardly at all, the only thing i do is watch tv show after tv show so i can escape into a better life but the minute i stop watching something i start feeling down, i go days not talking out loud, my mum barely talks to me shes too wrapped up in her own world, i have a sister who doesnt have the time or patience for me and i dont have any friends.
im incapable of having any kind of relationship with anyone so really when you think about it i really do need to just give up! im so unhappy, im so alone its unreal and i dont want to go on anymore like this and i know i wont get any better as i have tried everything the doctor has thrown at me i completed CBT which is the only free service available so i have been discharged for the like 100th time.. i cant go on anymore and yet im pathetic and dont have the guts to do anything.
i think of what i could do to kill myself and it sounds awful and painful i just hope i get to the point where i am so desperate i just do it without thinking!
i have been looking around on the internet for hours cos i just cant explain how lonley i feel right now and the internet offers nothing! it makes me feel worse because mental health is just subjected around Young people now and im not young anymore i have suffered my whole life it just gets worse! i try not to self harm cos that makes me feel worse ! its such a kid thing to do apparently! no one will probably even finish reading this cos why would they! im not looking for an answer as there really is just one and that would be to end all !
if i go and stand at the edge of somewhere will anyone come and push me off the edge? think thats what i need.. i need someone to push me so i dont have to jump!
im so desperate i dont know what to do!!!!
Sorryy
4 likes, 29 replies
caroline23580 rachh
Posted
my name is caroline your not on you own people do care your family do care your going into panic mode please try relax you need to talk you need to get help you need support
caroline23580 rachh
Posted
hanky rachh
Posted
been there tried it and like you I was a chicken and never followed it through, nothing is worth killing yourself for, stay strong and you will get better in time, DON'T make any rational thoughts as that's bad, look after yourself :-) I'm here if you wanna private message me or talk on hear,
rachh
Posted
Thank u for replying tho.. u know it always helps to just let some of it out! Xxx
faizi rachh
Posted
Vickycam rachh
Posted
rachh Vickycam
Posted
I dont wanna be seen like im just reaching for excuses but ive been on and off antidepressants since I was 17 never ever found one that has made me feel slightly different. . And I have been on over ten different ones I often think I am immune to tablets as painkillers dont even work on me. . And the hospital is just such a waste of time ive been there a couple of times u wait for hours and they just talk to u for a while and tell u to visit ur doctor the next day and send u on ur way.. adults round here dont seem to matter! Ive done everything there is to get better and it just gets worse.. im doomed to be alone and miserable until the day I die! I want to just sleep the days away but im having one of those weeks where I just cant sleep .. that never helps
Thanks for all ur replies xx
mark01943 rachh
Posted
I know how you feel. We all do on here, there is great support, we will help all we can. Know EXACTLY what you mean 're sleep, if get a good night a lot of it feels a bit better.
You are not alone, you can chat bout anything at anytime with us on here, and I for one will do whatever I can to help, and that is NOT a hollow gesture
faizi rachh
Posted
rachh faizi
Posted
And thanks mark..its comforting to know ur not the only one who feels bad xx
Ive spent the night reading online and have cried so much I think I haave exhausted myself out so fingers crossed I can sleep a while.. u cant feel bad if ur asleep !! Xx
kat50 rachh
Posted
deirdre._03652 rachh
Posted
Please never give up and think that suicide is your only option....have you ever
Been ref to the community mental health team.. If you are under the care of a
Psychiatrist you will have access to the crisis team, who are available to help you
Twenty four hours a day, if you ever need them... if you are not, see your doctor and
Insist on being on being referred and impress upon them the seriousness of your
Depression and loss of hope,... they have a duty of care to listen to you.. also the....brilliant Samaritans are always there to listen to you at any time no matter what.....
Also if you go to your local accident and emergency department, you should be treated with the same care and courtesy !!! As any other patient.. you are entitled to be
And you deserve to be. X
Please do not give up hope yet, I have three sons with mental health problems and I
Know that they have felt the same, it breaks mine and their father's hearts, the good
Thing is though, they live here with us ( they are very similar in age to you ) they
Have a nice home that will be theirs, a very supportive and loving family and very
Good neighbours and friends...
It makes me so angry when I hear what you have been through, have you got a
Local MIND organization that you can phone, they can act as advocates for you.
They are excellent, very knowledgeable and very, very caring...
Please, please do not give up, my thoughts and prayers are with you young man..
Sincerest wishes to you,, take care and be kind to yourself....Deirdre...
brill-
psy
rachh deirdre._03652
Posted
ive been discharged from the community mental health team as my 6 sessions were up.. ridiculous..
im gonna see my doctor later this week shes been on holiday for two weeks..
its sad about your sons.. but at least they have a wonderful mum like you!! i wish my mum was like that.. mine just wants her house back.. and her daughter to stop moping around!
xxx
phatmarisa rachh
Posted
I want you to know that I hear you... I hear your heart and your pain and suffering. I too am suffering with depression... with hopelessness and despair. If you want to chat at all let me know. I am 35 years old. I moved back in with my parents in Arpril. I was living by myself and spiralled out of control emotionally. I have not fully recovered and wake up wishing I had not woken up. I am starting a new job in September and I really wish I was in a better place emotionally. I should be excited about a new job but I am not. I am worried about just crashing mentally.
rachh phatmarisa
Posted