30yrs of Anxiety & depression and I need help!

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For the past 30 years my life has been totally destroyed by what has been diagnosed as an Anxiety disorder combined with depression. The symptom of this anxiety is to want to pee all the time and my life revolves around going to the toilet. As a result  I've been  stuck in a job I absolutely hate as I can't attend meetings, training etc and so can't progress or change job. Relationships have never lasted and I don't have much in the way of friends or social life as a result. The only times I go out anywhere with other people are the occasional visit  to pubs in evenings as I know there are toilets available all the time. I can't remember the last time I went anywhere with someone during the day. I have missed out on so much as a result of this illness and become very lonely and depressed.

It all started when I was 18 and at college. I was very intelligent and thought I had a great future ahead of me but 6 months before A levels this started and that basically was the end of any sort of career/decent life.

In the beginning I had all the tests for physical causes but nothing was found and I know in myself that the problem is in my head. With the exception of feeling edgy most of the time this is my only real symptom of anxiety,  but it is a life destroying one.  It's only really in the last 8 years that anything has been done to try and sort this problem as help doesn't seem to have been available during the majority of my  illness. I was on Clomipramine for 7 years which did help and I would say I was 70% well but they had so many life effecting side effects, I was like a zombie and also had zero sex drive which contributed to the demise of my marriage which lasted all of 4 years. I have recently come off Clomipramine because of this but obviously the peeing problem is still there. I have tried CBT recently but after 30 years the problem is so much part of me that this has proved unsuccessful.

With no hope of a relationship ever lasting, a low paid unfulfilling  job I hate, very little social life and fear of going  almost anywhere the depression is getting worse and I'm desperate to find an answer to this problem. I really cannot remember ever being happy and I simply cannot carry on like this.

Does or has anyone else suffered from this either short term or for as long as I have and does anyone know of a drug or any other treatment that works for this type of anxiety? Thanks

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  • Posted

    hi john,

    Like yourself ive had anxiety for over 24 years and it does destroy ur life ive also had the depression as well i really understand where your comming from have u tryed to go back to your gp theres lots of new meds if uve tryed everything else i didnt have meds for years bottled it all uo until 4 weeks ago i went to gp got meds now 4 weeks on im feeling alot more better i know ppl say try without meds but alot of ppl cant so maybe u should go to gp and explain maybe counselling aswell

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    • Posted

      Hi Anne. Thanks for that I have an appointment with GP on Friday & I think meds is the only answer for me. I also think counselling may help so am going to suggest this too.  What medication are you on if you don't mind me asking?

       

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  • Posted

    Hi john.  This is something my wife has had all her life and you have our sympathy.  She did try hypnotherapy recently and it worked very well though she's in need of a top up. I think the way this whole thing seems to work is that your peeing isn't the problem of course, just as my going into a small space like a lift isn't mine. The problem is that you're afraid of your reaction to it - the peeing thing is just the thing that triggers your anxiety. I really feel that working on your anxiety management will help. Have you discussed citalopram with your doc? 
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    • Posted

      Hi.Thanks and sorry to hear of your wifes anxiety, it's not nice. I have tried hypnotherapy many times but it did not work for me. I could never relax enough. I have tried Escitalopram which I understand is very similar to citalopram but this was in combination with clomipramine. I will suggest it to my doctor as I have not tried it on its own. Thank you

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  • Posted

    Hi. Yes I have about 25 years ago. Career ended, meds didn't help, I was put on tofranil which never worked, I ran out of every public place, leaving family and friends. Behind. Couldn't eat. Couldn't work my job due to attacks or unexplained crying spells in the office and I couldn't keep running down the hall. Very embarrassing for me as I'm a very private person. No one knows but family. I've been on most older meds with no results but weight gain which isn't me plus feeling over medicated I didn't like. I'm young and I have a life to enjoy, I wanted to go to school again and work. I kept friends at a distance then as I was so uncomfortable and didn't know what was going on with me back then. I certainly. Didn't need so many pills, as life circumstances affect how you feel and you must weight that and illness. Meds won't help life issues. What I did going forward after losing ten good years of my life, is I went to a complete different county, out of my area, to start over in treatment and get better help as treatments are different everywhere. This was where I was given minimal meds. Therapy. Most important doctors who care. Over 15 years ago I got myself back and my life and went back to school etc.best tears ever. We all have setbacks, and fall down, but its how you get yourself back up.don't quit or give up. Seek a better shrink Dr. Have a gp as back up. Go out of your immediate area for help. It was the best decision I ever made and gave me the best quality of life and function . As iam not like I was back then as iam stronger and proud of myself for enduring and I like me. I really do.friends and boyfriends will happen and fall into place. Effexor and cymbalta I highly recommend. And I've been through it all. Let me know. Also from working in a health spa, many men get massage therapy. Awesome for anxiety.
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    • Posted

      Unfortunately moving away would mean getting a new job which isn't possible in my current state and I'm restricted to whatever shrink the NHS provides for me. Currently I'm not seeing one but am seeing my gp on Friday and will ask to be referred. Hopefully it'll be someone decent and I can get things moving in right direction
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    • Posted

      I didn't mean mean physically move. Just go to a different town in your area. Gp can recommend a good one. Mine is half hour away and he's the one who put me in contact with someone and that was the best decision I could have made. Places do things differently I noticed. Good luck
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  • Posted

    hi john i suffer from anxiety and depression i first had it when my brother passed away im on lots of medication which just takes the edge of things but still a nervous wreck to the point i cant go to work or just go out no one understands unless you suffer from it its a fear of the unknown i dont understand why i feel like this its so hard to cope everyday. sue
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  • Posted

    john id say the ones nhs r very good as the uk seem to over alot of alternitves hope you get sorted soon
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