37 with End Stage Achalasia

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I had Heller surgery for Achalasia when i was 24 years old. Just due out of paranoia I asked my GI for a follow up Endoscopy recently. My symptoms havent increased really compared to after the surgery. i juat know to eat slow and not stuff myself. the only time i regurgitate isnt from food but from sever congestion drainage making it too difficult to swallow but that has been the same for years. at the end of the endoscopy all my doc said was my esophagus was huge, he sees food remnants remaining, and referred me to a specialist. Specialist GI doc had me do a bariaum swallow that showed end stage achalasia, esophagus 6 cm, and esophageal sump near the gastric junction. food and liquids pooling in the sump. i now have a follow up appt in a few weeks and im terrified and confused. everything i read has me thinking i should feel WAY worse than i do. id rate my symptoms a 2-3 out of 10. But reading online has me convinced Im going to have no choice but esophagus removal and destined for esophageal cancer. Sad that i feel good overall but in my mind Im thinking i just want to live to atleast see my 4 and 9 year okds become adults. Am i crazy and freaking out too much? i hate how uninformative all the doctors have seemed.

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