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44yo, 2y ago diagnosed, no sex since. Too scared. WTD?

Posted , 4 users are following.

stacilov3
stacilov3

Thought I cut myself trimming my area and it wouldn't heal. Thought the itching meant it was. (like a cut would). Dr tested it and said I had contracted Herpes1 and 2. 1 from oral sex down below and 2,from him. He cheated a lot. I was clean in 2011 because I was tested when I was pregnant with my last child. I hadn't been with anyone other than him the whole time. I was placed in safe house in 2013 and I found out soon after that. I was soo devastated that I haven't had sex since. I am ready for companionship again, but I am soo affraid of passing it on or even worse when to tell someone.....I won't go out on dates but if someone shows any interest, I just start freaking out in my head and push them away.....what do I do? I hate this. I do not look my age so the 30 something's want to get close.....I really wish I could. I am condemned to be single forever aren't I? I can't rid myself of the hate I feel. Especially considering he is soo in denial he says I gave it to him. Even After 2 of the girls he was with before me had accused him as well.

I'm lost, affraid and I want it to go away. sad

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • NuMe
    NuMe stacilov3

    Posted

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That is absilutely horrible and heart breaking. Don't let GH stop you from being happy. Although I am recently diagnosed, my biggest concern was dating as well. I read an article that suggested dating within the herpes community which I didn't even know existed. Another thing is anyone (GH or Not) that really loves and cares for you will be able to accept and work with you. Don't be afraid to get out there. I too share the fear of giving it to someone else; hopefully one someone has advice as to how to get over that guilt and high concern. Please don't give that guy or GH power over your life. Take it back! You're beautiful and NOT condemned to be alone forever. Wishing you all the best!
  • sabrina2166
    sabrina2166 stacilov3

    Posted

    I felt so sad reading this. You didn't give yourself this infection..u were faithful and he wasn't and others even caught it from him.. Most men with there immature self think that this infection can only be spread by females which is wrong.. Who did us as female catch it from?

    There's always someone out there who is gonna accept u for who u r.don't just meet a person n tell them that you are sick.. Try and get to know that person first before you start opening up to them

  • elle39899
    elle39899 stacilov3

    Posted

    I'm so sorry to hear that. I just wanted to say a few thing that might make you feel a bit better.

    I know someone who has genital herpes, she has has it for over 20 years. And she has been with 3 long term partners since. None of them cared at all. And also none of them had ever developed any blisters or symptoms.

    Genital herpes is really common okay? You are not alone at all. There is nothing gross or wrong about you. You are not this virus. Anyone who gets to know you will know that. Also if it makes you feel any better, 1 in 8 men in America have genital herpes. And apparently 1 in 4 women.

    Try your hardest to see yourself as more than this virus. And know that any decent guy will see you as more than one as well smile

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus stacilov3

    Posted

    I only very recently acquired HSV-2 and am in my early 40s as well. Never had a single STI before in my life and now this. Forever. It really sucks. I'd much rather have contracted gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis or even HSV-1, but nope.

    Mind you, it could be worse, so stay strong and don't let it define or change you. I refuse to let my new diagnosis change what I enjoy!! That is, unless I am hit with frequent recurrent outbreaks (remains to be seen, as I appear to be only just coming out of my first outbreak), so fingers crossed!

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