47, menopause, feeling old, looking old and feeling horrible about both

Posted , 8 users are following.

I just turned 47 which is really much harder than 46 was but neither feel good and knowing 50 is right around the corner is depressing enough for a woman but we get the added stress and depression, weight gain and psycho mood swings brought on by menopause, not to mention the hot flashes, omg! I don't know if what I'm dealing with is just menopause and will go away if I can hang on til it passes or if I have some really bad issues medically. I lost and can't afford insurance since Obama care so I can't afford to go to a doctor which really sucks because I am so scared! I wake up with horrible pain running through my legs, feet , arms and hands and even after a night of a full 9 hours of sleep. I wake up exhausted, completely unmotivated and feeling like my life is over so why do I keep trying to function? Because forcing myself to go to work will hopefully keep me from. Ring homeless but I'm afraid that is inevitable. I'm not married, have no savings and my career isn't paying what it used to do I'm living with my parents, dad is 79 mom 75, and my older brother who promised to always make sure I'm okay died a tragic death 4 years ago. I keep trying, force myself to get out of bed, my parents are always on my case, they get around better than me, why do I hurt so much? I'm so much younger than them but I'm more tired and in more pain, is it because of menopause, because I'm alone and they have each other?  I'm catholic and believe I must go through whatever happens no matter how hard because suicide would keep me from even having peace after I die but each day it gets harder and harder and I question whether I can make it to the end. Is this normal? Do any of you feel the same, is there hope?

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Dear Dizznmo

    Please dont lose faith, I have had my dark moments in peri, I have had all the symptoms going feeling old gaining weight even my hair not seeming like it used too but although at 52 and now in full blown menopause, still getting the odd symptom coming and going, I feel more like myself again, managed to get that extra stone off and my hair seems to be like it was. The anxiety mental issues which came with menopause hopefully wont come back. Please take each day as it comes and believe it will end. In my darkness moments I didnt believe it possible xx

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  • Posted

    I don't know which state you are in, but there are often clinics that offer free gynae checks for women. I know my doctor works once a month at one with other doctors on rotation. If you can find anything, ask planned parenthood or see if there a women's center or shelter that can point you in the right direction for help. If you go to church they will probably help you too. There is hope, but you have to reach out to find it. 

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry you are going through this!  I have had some very dark days too.  Please don't feel like you are alone.  There are a lot of us on here that know just how you feel.  Please make some calls tomorrow and find a clinic you can go to.  Keep coming back here and posting and letting us know how you are doing.  It has to get better.  I hear it does, so I am keeping the faith!

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  • Posted

    Hey girl👋

    Welcome to the 47th club🙏 I too just made 47 myself & is so hard to deal with the way I feel, everything you described I feel it too girl😢 God bless us🙏🙏🙏 on top of all my aches I found out my thyroid gland is over active too…! I'm not trying to bore you with my issues I just wanted to let you know, that your NOT alone other women are going trough it too hunny! & we in it together, God bless you &  plz don't lose your faith this too should pass😘💋

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  • Posted

    Dizznmo, just take one day at a time, this will pass. Usually during this time in a woman's life she is dealing with so much, job, family, and Lord knows what else. Please do not give up. Like the other ladies said, find a free clinic, or at least one that will work with you financially(sometimes they will have you pay some up front and set up a payment plan for the rest). Keep going to work because you have to have a reason to get out of bed. Be kind to yourself. If you have a smartphone, try meditation,YouTube has tons, also prayer is very important. Try taking magnesium for the anxiety, and put turmeric in your food, it has done wonders for my achy joints, and it's also good for anxiety. I do take a mild antidepressant called Trazodone,  but I think it's more a placebo effect now, and I do have Valium, but I only take it once or twice a week now since I started the magnesium and turmeric. I also take a good Multivitamin(for women over 50), and drink plenty of water. Don't let your mind/hormones get the best of you. Like my mother used to say "nothing lasts forever". I know it feels like it , but it won't. Much love and prayers your way.  Life WILL be good again!

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  • Posted

    Hi Dizznmo... I hope that reaching out here is helping you.  The kind ladies who post in this forum have given me hope on many dark days.  I've gone through phases with this where I wonder why I'm still alive and get really anxious that it will just get worse.  But there are good days, too.  I'm 46, had an ovary removed last year, have gained 25 pounds since then, and am about to be evaluated for probable blood sugar and/or thyroid issues.  My parents are in their 70s and my mom is prediabetic and about to have her 3rd of 4 joint replacement surgeries.  My job is high stress and I feel I don't measure up anymore and worry constantly about being able to handle it.  So I know some of how you feel.  I think sometimes I wouldn't care if I didn't wake up but know in my heart it's not really true.  I pray that you and I keep finding the strength to get up every day and find something good in our day, even if it's as simple as knowing we woke up breathing and able to get up and go to work.  Peace and blessings to you and your parents.

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