6 weeks on 20mg with ups and downs, sometimes by the minute!

Hello all, 

Newbie here, to all of this. I’m 45 and a few months back was diagnosed first with adjustment disorder, then that turned into a diagnosis of  GAD and depression. 

It started over a health scare that I unfortunately started to obsess about, which I guess caused the anxiety, then during a bad night of trying to figure out what was wrong with me, why I was feeling so weird, the intrusive thoughts started. Unfortunately it was about my wife of 20 years who I love dearly. That’s when it all went downhill. Before this, I’ve never never had any anxiety or depression. 

I was first given Wellbutrin, that seemed to put me in a tailspin, then I was given the Cit. 

My doctors never really told me what to expect out of any of it, didn’t tell me much about side effects either. I think I might find a different  psychiatrist. 

So im now on week 6 with 20 mg Cit (from the start) and Trazedone to help sleep. 

The first few weeks were pretty rough, then it seemed to start helping. I’d get these waves of happy, but then it would fade. 

It seemed to help with the depression pretty quickly, the anxiety has been slower, the thoughts just won’t go away still, though the last week I have had a few times where I felt really, really good. Once even totally normal, it washed over me like a wave a few hours before bed. Like so many others I’ve read about, the mornings thru mid day are typically the worst then by late day I start felling a bit better. I try to keep faith in what I’ve read here, but it’s so hard some days. The last few days it seems like I’m going backwards with it all... 

Is this part of the process still? I’m so ready to be done with this, it’s been a living hell in my head! 

Thanks for reading, and my best wishes to you all, this is an awful thing to have deal with. 

Sorry it it was so long winded. 

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