6 weeks on Zoloft. Need some hope.
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hey everyone,
Im a 25 year old male teacher, before this turn of events I was active at the gym, keen surfer and in a great relationship. now, i feel like im clinging onto my old self so when this is all over I havent lost everything.
the main reason for this post is hope,
Ive been lurking the forums the past month or so as my life as completely turned upside down. ive had little bits of anxiety in the past but nothing major. 8 weeks ago it was time to move states and it spun me into a dark place filled with anxiety and panic attacks.
during those two weeks i couldnt even look at myself in the mirror because it would worry me that i wasnt myself. two weeks later I started zoloft at 50mg and had to cancel a holiday. after two and a half weeks on zoloft and moving my mum went back home and it kicked off again. so the doctor upped my dosage to 100mg which is where ive been for the last 3 and a half weeks. ive had moments of clarity here and there but everytime im happy or in the moment i think about the fact that im in the moment. Week 5 on zoloft overall was my best week, I was getting into routine of work, I was hungry and the intrusive thoughts were fading. The end of week 6 and I woke up with intrusive thoughts, spikes of anxiety and panic and one night I had two hours sleep and had to go to work. although my partner was leaving for a holiday with her mum and shes been my main support.
0 likes, 15 replies
sue74917 james06549
Posted
Hi James. Let me reassure you that there is hope and lots of it, the fact that you have been having ups and downs, as frustrating as it is, means the meds are working. Because your partner and your support system is going away has maybe caused a little bit of set back, I know I had to have my husband with me at all times when, just the thought of being in my own used to set me off but this is an irrational fear which this illness gives us, nothing bad is going to happen just keep telling yourself it is the meds not you. With regards to your dose I personally think that your Dr was too quick in increasing, I am not medically trained but little and slow seems to be the way to go with it so you can judge the best dose for you, it is what it is now so if you are happy to stay on the dose you are at you need to give it more time to do its magic. For what it is worth I had all the thoughts you are having, the oh gosh I feel better oh dear but will it last and I am now 14 weeks in and am back to normal life. there will be more ups and downs for you before the ups stay longer but this is life anyway for everyone but focus on the fact you will get better, stay strong and look forward to better days they will come
james06549 sue74917
Posted
Hi Sue,
thank you so much for your response and also being kind enough to stick around the forums even after youre feeling good. Its so good to talk to people that have gone through this. I didnt realise I could go this low or think these thoughts but here I am. I suppose I just need to keep waking up in the morning and try and get on with my day. At the start of this I couldnt eat, think or see clearly my eyes were so filled with tears and the fact I can manage to go work and fake it enough to keep my job is good
sue74917 james06549
Posted
well done you for trying to keep some normality in your life, you are certainly doing well if you are going to work, even though as you say you have to fake it a bit. do not dwell on why this has happened to you, a doctor I work with once told me that it is only strong people who suffer with anxiety and depression as other people are too weak to realise, not too sure that is true but I will go with it. I found that everyday I achieved something I thought I. could not do,no matter how small, it had a positive effect on my mood so by you not giving in and trying to live as best you can at the moment is a big step forward. do not be too hard on yourself though, accept that for the next few weeks you will be more then likely under par and accept this As they say honey, what don't kill yer only makes yer stronger
dodo81786 sue74917
Posted
hi sue , 10 days in 150 mg , I don’t know how to express my feelings anymore.
Mornings are better but not as I’m wanting.
All day is ok but checking my feelings all the time ( intrusive thoughts about that )
I want to be back to my old self as a mum of 4 full of excitement and motivation.
Is it ever gonna happen ?
sue74917 dodo81786
Posted
Hi dodo. basically the answer to your question is yes it will. The clue is in your statement, mornings are better, maybe not as they used to be but you have only been on your increased dose for 10 days so just think what it will be like in 3 or 4 weeks. Up until week 12 I was still checking my feelings in my mind, this has all settled now, it also took this long for my motivation to come back. As I have said in a previous post, I like my life now, I am neither happy or unhappy but content, this will happen to you too once you have settled on the correct dose. In the interim period try and distract yourself with your children make them the main focus and although I know it is hard to do but try and think externally and not internally, you will with time,patience and support get there
dodo81786 sue74917
Posted
thanks so much for your reassurance i really need to hear this and i guess i will keep reading this a lot .
james06549 dodo81786
Posted
Hi Dodo,
hang in there. Sometimes I just want to scream because i dont understand what more I can do. Then I realise I am doing it and it sounds like you are too. Just keep going, one day at a time. How long have you been on Zoloft
dodo81786 james06549
Posted
ive been since november 2018 went on 50 for 2 weeks and 100 for 11 weeks then 10 days on 150
i was on 100 mg for 3 yrs ( 2015-2018 ) weaned my self off in a wrong way as it was working perfectly and i felt my old self again with all the motivation and excitment .
i hope 150 works .
james06549 dodo81786
Posted
I hope for your sake it works too. Hopefully sooner rather than longer. How long did it take to take effect last time? and how did you try ans wean off them if you dont mind me asking
dodo81786 james06549
Posted
i think it took around 8+ weeks on 100 to work .
i weaned off by decreasing the days taken not the dose taken .
james06549 dodo81786
Posted
What does work mean? back to your old self completely? Its so difficult because Ive moved to a different part of the country that I dont really know whats normal. Today has been better though, I can think about the intrusive thoughts but theyre not coming naturally.
dodo81786 james06549
Posted
i meant by work that i was 80% back to my old self and happiness , motivation .
also i am having them but not like before , i can push them away .
i wish for the day that the thoughts don't even come .
james06549 dodo81786
Posted
how are you dodo? Im not feeling the super lows or super low/highs that I have been. These thoughts have less power but theyre still there, just feels negative and scary that im not myself. I think im feeling better than yesterday, definitely feeling better than friday which is when I decided to make a post here.
Coming up to 7 weeks in a couple of days. I hope I find clarity soon
sandi77808 james06549
Posted
Agree with Sue, below - I'm the mom of a 25-year-old daughter who went through a major depressive episode and I learned a lot as her support system (with my husband). What we learned about Sert was that 1) It's a slow-acting drug. We did not see the beginnings of improvements with our daughter until 6 weeks (and she came from a very dark place with no hope or motivation so we clung to any small improvements; 2) Until you are fully "back to yourself" you will have good days and bad days and you have to try to ride out the bad days and tell yourself you're getting better and this is just a bad day; 3) As you mentioned, any kind of life change or crisis can cause a setback (in my daughter's case it was a work-related issue that set her back) BUT, if you're already on the medication, you will be able to get through it; 4) It can take up to 13 - 14 weeks or even more to truly feel that you are your old self again when you are on Sert. Many people give up on the medication before this.,..but it's worth it to stick it out; 5) Don't be afraid to increase on your doctor's advice. Our daughter went from 25 to 50 to 100 to 150 which is where she is now. Different people need different dosages; 6) Don't be afraid to rely on family and friends. We - and she - had angels in our lives who stuck with us, and with her - they won't judge you, they will be there for you; 7) You WILL be yourself again. Our daughter is now 100% recovered, happy, healthy, working, loving life and her friends. She sent me this text on my birthday: "Hope you're having a great day. Thank you for dragging me out of bed when I refused. I know you told me I'd thank you one day and thank God that day has come. I love you." When her depression hit, she left her apartment and came back home to live with us for 8 weeks. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through as a parent, and my heart broke every day, but I learned so much, and have the text from her to prove that you should never lose hope. These forums gave me hope when I was terrified - reading positive stories was so important to me. YOU WILL RECOVER. You are getting better. And you are not alone. Blessings to you.
james06549 sandi77808
Posted
All I can say is wow. Thank you so much to yourself and your daughter. This week has been so bizarre, living on my own in a new state with noone i know around. My partner comes back in two days. I cant thank you enough, those words did give me hope. Im 7 weeks in, I still have improvements to make. I believe i can.