7 year old boy aggressive behaviour

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I'm a mum of a 7 year old boy who has struggled with behaviour, emotions and low self esteem since probably about the age of 3. He can be aggressive and lashes out if something doesn't go his way, he can also be lovely and caring towards others. He knows right from wrong and just says he cannot not stop himself. He is struggling at school and they are now getting extra behaviour specialist help in school to support. I've thought for a while he could have ADHD/ADD he talks non stop and finds it difficulties to sit still unless he's on a computer.

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  • Posted

    Yes, emotional regulation issues and impulsivity are also signs of ADHD/ADD.  He sounds like my 8-yr-old, who holds it together in school (usually) then falls apart at home. He has issues with vision and writing so he has his share of help in school, too. He is also like two people in one little guy - can be so sweet and caring or gets frustrated at the drop of a hat. He has Coeliac Disease and that turned everything around two years ago - before that his behaviour in school could be iffy, too. His mood is much better and so was his cooperation at home when he started eating strictly GF and his gut healed.  Now, it's another rough patch and I'm certain it's not from gluten. Some of this really just is his personality. 

    See if there is anything you can do to ease your son's way - sensory stimulation that you can minimise, routines you can tighten, etc. I worry about my son's resiliancy too, even while accommodating him, but feeling comfortable and safe to start with seems to be key to making progress. Partner with any/all teachers and support staff...and do try their suggestions at home, if they make any.

    Here in the US, I'd say you should take your son to a Developmental Paediatrician. I'm not sure if that category exists where you are or what the equivalent would be. They will ask questions and run tests and see if this is or isn't ADHD and what else it may be (co-morbidities exist and it could be more than one condition, too).

    GL! Please keep us posted!

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply. I just feel like I've failed him 😢

      I'm going to work with the school and see if the behaviour specialist helps before making an appointment with the GP.

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  • Posted

    How have you failed him?  There are loads of great parents who have children who struggle with learning, emotions, sensory integration, attention and behaviour!  Please don't feel that way for a minute! (Nor is this the fault of your son)  Some websites that have helped me are named Additude and Understood, if you care to google them.

    My older son has ADHD as well as my younger son, and the older is a "rule follower" and almost never has emotional outbursts or meltdowns. I didn't do anything differently, it's just their personalities (and some would say their birth order has a lot to do with it). 

    You see the good side to your son, as well - your unconditional love and support is significant! HUGS to you!

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  • Posted

    We have a great-grandson who has four disorders including ADHD, ODD, ADD and one other, cannot think of name of it right now. He also can be so sweet and sensitive to others, he loves to "serve", wants to surprise me by bringing me breakfast in bed, etc. However, he has horrible meltdowns, becomes angry and upset over the smallest things. The ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) is just absolutely horrible. Anything we tell him to do he will argue about it. He will yell and say NO, I will NOT. He is under the care of an ADHD specialist and is currently taking Focalin and Guanfacine. He does not want to be like this. I think he is embarrassed after an episode of disobedience and anger. It just takes a lot of patience and affection to get thru the times when he is having these meltdowns. His mom did try the gluten free diet which did not help. He has had "play therapy" which did not help. It is just a tough thing to deal with, tough on him as well as us as we try to help him. 

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