8 long months of pain and getting nowhere

Hi All, I have lost all hope. My sciatic pain started quiet abruptly with no real indication as to why. I basically woke one morning in June 2017 and since then I have been on the long, lonely and depressing road of PAIN. It initally started with a sharp shooting pain in my buttock which stopped me from walking properly. I had to adjust my walk by not allowing my right leg to be too far behind me when I took a step forward with my right. Now 8 months in, I can barely make it the short steps from my bed to the loo without my crutch on one side and my loving fiance on the other. The pain I feel all of the time now is a constant knawing ache at the very bottom of my spine. I describe it as my tail bone crushing. I then have the sharp excrutiating shooting pain that comes at anytime without warning. Both of these together basically makes me immobile at the very least. I would not be able to get around just now without my crutch. Currently I am taking 50mg of tramadol, 2 tablets, 4 times a day alongside paracetamol. For as my doctor describes, "that extra wee kick".

I have 500mg of naeproxen which tapregavaitablet, twice a day.

Since last Thursday I have moved from 50mg of amitriptyline to 100mg of pregabalin. This change in medication was at the request of my NHS pysio. Who, in the up most greatest respects, has been as useful as a chocolate teapot.

I atteeded physio at the beginning which I paid for. I was giving deep tissue massages around my buttocks and legs and stretches to carry out daily. I attended this physio 4 times. With no change. My GP advised we may need to look at a scan to delve further into the cause. To do this I must see an NHS Physio as they are the only means of passage to an orthopedic surgeon. We all know the long wait for that appointment. On my 3rd, 45minute with the physio I was advised the medication needs changing.

She had also advised me that there was nothing she can do because of my age (28) I am far to young to be considered for an operation. This is the only reason why I would be referred to the orthopedic surgeons. Not just for a scan as I was first led to believe. This physio believes that the pain may come from a small disc which has been damaged and is now pressing on my nerve. No cause for concern as it is 'compressing' it.

I have one more appointment with this physio next week and I'm thinking it may be my last as I had to argue with her for the next one due to her saying she can do no more for me. I had been handed an elbow crutch on my first visit with her and told I 'must manage the pain through the episodes'. I'm sure my fellow sufferers would agree that this is not the best thing to say to someone who has suffered chronically for months.

I work in an office and I have adapted my surroundings to be able to stay at work. Whether I am in work or at home I am still in pain. I need to work, like we all do. I am trying to live my daily life as they have advised, through their patronising smiles. This week I am currently on sick leave for a week, advised by the doctor as the pain is just unbearable.

Today, I wish I didn't wake. Not in a 'I want to end it all' kind of way. But in a 'I don't want feel this pain today' way.

I have a daughter, a fiance, and a family. Who all need me. Who need me to get through this.

I feel all the people who can help are turning their backs.

The last GP I visited, only a few days ago, was in a whole lovely but niave. I have come to understand that you can only get so far then the walls go up.

She has advised me that she will call the physio and 'suggest a scan to be done' as this has gone on long enough with no answers. I wish to try other practitioners who may be able to help. I a willing to try the lot(within my means £. This GP has advised against it for now as I may do further damage if for say, I went to a chricopractor.

Today, I feel I may take up the doctors offer of 'a little something to help feeling down' about this all. (If I'm not on enough of them already!

I'm so fed up and tired of feeling in pain. I can see why other people looks for alternatives. I am not that way enclinged nor will I ever be to do anything damaging. But we could all admit from the severness of pain that the thought hasn't crossed our minds.

I have tried the herbal alternatives of the back street shops, but I must say it had no afftect on me whether I smoked it or ate it. When your so high on pain meds this did not come close to the effect.

My greatest relief to be fair is a hot water bottle. Oh, now that is the stuff of magic. Although, short lived. Especially when I don't have a devoted partner child or friend close by. God, I love them all. ?

Anyway I have rambled on enough about myself. Your stories really help make me feel like I'm not alone. Even in the days where I feel no one else is listening . Thank you.

Funny story:

Saturday I went to the loo, after spending ALL day in bed in so much pain. I decided I was not brushing my teeth before bed. So whilst I eventually lowered myself onto the throne, I began rinsing my mouth with mouth wash. It was at this point, inconvieniant as ever, the nerve 'hit'. I tried to stand mid pee ( for all us woman who didn't do our pelvic floors you are aware that I could not 'nip it' to shake the nerve out whilst screaming and trying to hold a mouth full of mouthwash. I quickly had to shuffle to the right. Half hovering above the pan and spit (violently) into the sink, screaming like a domented dinsosaur. That was this first time the nerve attacked me on the loo without warning. Next time I will brush my teeth and not be so lazy 😂

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