8 Weeks in and still not feeling too good

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hello

I've been taking 20mg of citralopram for 8 weeks now.  At about week 3-4 I did notice a difference, I felt like the edge of my depression was taken off and I no longer thought about ending everything.  I never felt totally better but had a bit of a dip at 6 weeks which I put down to pmt but the following week I had a few days of not having any motivation to move or do anything, other than the necessities with children.  I just wanted to sleep.

I have always hidden my depression from everyone and paint a smile on my face.  I just feel numb now and in limbo.  I'm waiting for a talking therapy appointment but have no idea how long that could take, I'm desperate to talk and get things out but have no one in my family or friend circles who I want to talk to about it. My husband does know but I think he is sick of it all to be honest and he has noticed I'm smiling more since taking the medication so thinks I am better. 

I'm seeing the doctor for a prescption review on 7th June so will wait and see how I am then as I know it takes time to get into your system but I just need to get it out!  I have spoken to my Health Visitor (as I have a pre school age child) but I glossed over things and said I would email a friend to talk about it who lives overseas but I just couldn't bring myself to email her.  The HV told me she was there if I needed to chat but I know how busy all healthcare professionals are and don't want to waste her time and what would I say!

I feel like I am more accepting of my own depression and it has made the symptoms I had been denying more prominent and feel worse, if you know what I mean!

I'm also still exhausted, my short term memory is terrible and I keep getting words mixed up eg lunch for breakfast, pan for cup etc.  Silly things that the kids find hilarious!

Anyway any advice and virtual hugs would be appreciated.

R

 

2 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi. sorry to hear your story. You're further ahead than me so i'm probably not much good for advice. All i know is that i have literally just started to open up to some family and friends and it has helped me alot. I'm still in a very dark place and my life is a total mess, a real total mess and i dont know how to solve it. But i know that the dialogue with someone, anyone has eased the pressure slightly. If this helps in anyway at all? This whole thing has opened my eyes to a world of depression i didnt know about and i look at very differently now. Virtual hug sent your way.....Paul.
    • Posted

      Thanks for replying Paul, sorry you're going through such a tough time. Well done for opening up to people, I just can't do it. Maybe in time.

      My eyes have been opened up to a world of depression too, it's helped me accept what is happening and that we are far from alone.

      Rx

  • Posted

    Aw raylou u can talk to us! Anytime! Please dont feel like u have to hide here! All of your symptoms sound normal but maybe even call ur gp just to say how ur feeling. Have u been on meds b4?
    • Posted

      Hi Weenett, I was on citraprolam about 5 years ago but came off after about 6 months because I thought I was better! I had ups and downs since but always low, the last year it has creeped in more and more and I eventually got the courage to go to the Doctor. So glad I did!

      Rx

  • Posted

    I have been feeling really depressed for 2 years. None of the meds I've tried help me at all. I spend most of my life in bed I can't function anymore or care for my family. Lost my job and have no life. Not sure anymore what will happen to me. Any suggestions would be great

    Michele

    • Posted

      Sorry to hear you are feeling so depressed. I don't really know much about other meds. Have you been referred for any talking therapies?

      Rx

  • Posted

    Hi , sorry to hear your story

    I think Waite untile it's 12 week

    some ppl need more time

    if after 12 week no diffrent think about increases the dose with your doctors

    I hope u will get batter soon

    stuck with it and give it time

    try to talk with ppl that's will halpe u not feel alone

    • Posted

      Thanks Roby, I'm going to stick with it until my next dr appointment which will be 12 weeks and see how I am then.

      I'm struggling with the talking to people, I have friends with depression and they talk about it but I'm just not ready. I think I will in time. I really want to start my counselling asap but not sure how long the waiting list is.

      Rx

  • Posted

    Hi R

    I started on 20 mg of citalopram which ive been taking since Jan this year.

    The first few weeks were awful and then very slowly I started noticing little things that my mood was lifting .

    I was off work for 2 months . I was off again recently for a few days as my mood dipped again but did improve .

    At first I posted on this site anytime I wasn't sure about any side effects or just for moral support ..,,, never keep anything in just post on here.

    Everyone is so supportive it really does help.

    Oh and message your friend overseas I'm really sure she won't mind . Just think if it was her and she was wanting to confident in you im sure you would want her to message you .

    You need to talk.

    Debi x

    • Posted

      Thanks Debi

      It's good to know that it takes a few weeks, I do feel different but still very low. I can't tell if I'm just more aware of the symptoms now, as I was hiding it from myself (if that is possible!) for so long all a bit confusing really.

      I will email my friend, she went through depression herself and talked to me. I just don't like burdening people with my nonsense. I know she'll not see it like that.

      Rx

    • Posted

      Hi R

      Yes it makes total sense you saying hiding it from ppl close to you and not wanting to admit it to yourself. Yes I was very aware of feelings I posted on here most days just for reassurance.

      Great idea writing things down if you don't feel ready to chat just yet. It will come in time the main thing is don't bottle everything up inside.

      Sounds like your friend will know exactly how your feeling if she herself has been through this. Good luck R .

      Debi x

  • Posted

    Hello RayLou,  First, you are not alone here!  As you see, there are a lot of us that are going through the same thing, or have gone through it, and are coming out the other side...but still have those ups and downs!  I have been on Cital 20 mg for 3 years now, and still will get those days once in a while, as a matter of fact, today is one of those days!  It just helps me to come on here, and I don't feel so alone in this crazy thing.  But, now I know when it happens, I know what to do to help myself through it, and know I will be ok.  You are still somewhat early into it, and maybe you will need to be put on a higher dose, something you will have to discuss with your doctor.  But be aware, sometime when they up the dose, it can also have some effects that are not always pleasent at first too, also something you will need to ask your doctor about.  If you read some of the posts on here, you will know what I mean.  Some of the people here have had to go up on the dose, then brought back down, and then feel much better...so there are many options...even changing medications.  Everyone has so many different responses to the meds.  Also, my doctor told me to take my meds about 30 minutes before bedtime, and with a small amount of food.  I have no tummy issues, and I found I sleep better at night, and no brain fog.  I see those symptoms of a lot of people on here, and they seem to take their meds in the morning.  You might want to give that a try...just a thought.  A friend of mine also takes hers at night...and her doctor also told her the same.  Remember, you are NOT alone, you can always come on here, we are here for you!!  Really consider taking a chance on talking to someone you trust in your family, or friend circle too!  In the mean time here is a BIG {{{{HUG}}}} for you Dear!!!
    • Posted

      Thank you Deidra

      It has been good to talk on here, I'm going to email my friend and I think I'm going to start writing things down, I feel like I'm storing too much of this in my brain and need to get it out! I don't feel ready to talk to anyone in person (family/friends) yet but I'm sure I will at some point.

      I'm also going to take my meds at night, starting tonight. So will see how that goes. The brain fog is so annoying and a little upsetting even though the kids find it funny!

      Rx

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