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I've been taking 20mg of citralopram for 8 weeks now. At about week 3-4 I did notice a difference, I felt like the edge of my depression was taken off and I no longer thought about ending everything. I never felt totally better but had a bit of a dip at 6 weeks which I put down to pmt but the following week I had a few days of not having any motivation to move or do anything, other than the necessities with children. I just wanted to sleep.
I have always hidden my depression from everyone and paint a smile on my face. I just feel numb now and in limbo. I'm waiting for a talking therapy appointment but have no idea how long that could take, I'm desperate to talk and get things out but have no one in my family or friend circles who I want to talk to about it. My husband does know but I think he is sick of it all to be honest and he has noticed I'm smiling more since taking the medication so thinks I am better.
I'm seeing the doctor for a prescption review on 7th June so will wait and see how I am then as I know it takes time to get into your system but I just need to get it out! I have spoken to my Health Visitor (as I have a pre school age child) but I glossed over things and said I would email a friend to talk about it who lives overseas but I just couldn't bring myself to email her. The HV told me she was there if I needed to chat but I know how busy all healthcare professionals are and don't want to waste her time and what would I say!
I feel like I am more accepting of my own depression and it has made the symptoms I had been denying more prominent and feel worse, if you know what I mean!
I'm also still exhausted, my short term memory is terrible and I keep getting words mixed up eg lunch for breakfast, pan for cup etc. Silly things that the kids find hilarious!
Anyway any advice and virtual hugs would be appreciated.
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