9 days in

Hey Claire,

I've upped my dose since then to 10 and now 20 and have been dealing with all the side effects all over again so I've yet to settle into a dose and reap the benefits. Hopefully it will come soon I too have been through the wringer on the road to recovery. I will keep you updated. Keep me updated also.

Just a few words of wisdom. There is ALWAYS hope. I was pretty fed up in 2014, having dealt with terrible anxiety all my life. I was very anti medicine, but finally my doctor convinced me to start. He told me, "it would kill me to see you (however many years) down the road still struggling when this can be treated." I was at my wits end, kind of fed up with life in the biggest way possible. I hid it so well for so long I finally accepted treatment. After about a month when the medicine kicked in, EVERYTHING seemed to melt away. When I started thinking rationally again I realized how irrational my thinking was. So no matter how much of a slump you're in and whatever your anxiety convinces you about yourself, realize there truly is a better way of life and you WILL get there. I stopped taking my

Meds cold turkey after about 6 months because I felt 100% better, went a year with no problems, now I'm back to the drawing board. These past 4 months trying meds have been very dark for me, I mean verrrry dark. But I never lose hope because after my experience with medication last time, I know it's just the crazy mind game of anxiety that makes you feel hopeless. But once you're over that hill, you can and will live a great life. I was as hopeless as they come, but once that fog lifted I'd say I felt even better than most normal people do. When your brain goes back to regular functioning it be such a beautiful thing. And we'll get there. Keep fighting, better days truly are to come.

Hi

Thank you for responding. When I read your message it was as if I was reading about my own life. I too have suffered for years with anxiety constantly worrying and as you say hid it well. 2014 was a traumatic year as I lost my father, trying to hold a job down, a family plus spending precious time with my dad one week in a month. I thought I was doing okay, but then the cracks started to show, and here I am.

Today day 5, I feel brighter but I know that this can change very quickly, but I'm appreciating this relief whilst it lasts. This is a scary time as I don't really know what it feels like to be "normal" anymore so this really is a huge journey and I'm not sure what to expect.

Thank you for sharing your experiences it really does help to know that there is so much support out there.

I've been on 2.5 for 4 days and it's going ok so far, starting on a low dose and working up slowly after bad reactions from Fluoxetine. Hope I can get some positive results also. Only issue so far has been some vivid dreams that wake me up some.

Now exactly 1 month in. Things are looking up. Trust me I know how bad it can be. I've been struggling since July to get straightened out and I'm almost there. Anxiety/depression are going WAY down. Waking up excited to take on the day, not so doom and gloom anymore. Only problem is I still have intrusive thoughts but in time I think they will be manageable. I'm someone who fully believes in the chemical imbalance idea that some people really do need meds. I didn't expect these to work at all and was ready to chalk it up to being hopeless, but they are definitely working, no placebo here. It definitely did get worse before better though. In the earliest stages I actually had more trouble taking it day by day, I should have viewed it week by week. I expected too much too soon, and didnt trust the Lex would do its job. So I'd say I'm at a 7/10 where as before I was a 3-4 on my best days. If I could rid the Intrusive thoughts I'd be a 8-9/10. I'm meeting with a psychologist in two weeks so things are looking up and up.

Glad to hear that things are looking up for you! Unfortunately my sensitivity to medication has made me stop taking the Lexapro because of the constant stomach cramps and nauseous feeling. They are hard but the constant head pressure and dizziness makes it impossible for me to work since I drive for a living.

Really frustrated and kind of despairing because all the ssri medications just beat the hell out of me and I don't know what to do going forward..

I visited my primary doc yesterday for a check up I had set about two months ago. He is very highly regarded, great man. He told me "I am so happy to finally see you doing better. A lot of the times these things can be trial and error. Some people the first thing off the shelf will work for, others it takes awhile. The good news is mostly everyone can find something that works for them. It has brought me to tears a few times when I have 50,60 year old patients come in my office and tell me that they never knew they could feel this way (referring to people who were severely anti medication until they tried one And it opened up a whole new way of life)."

So keep pushing, you'll get there. I've been through severe dark valleys and I think the biggest take away I've found is that however small the crack for hope is, it truly is always there.

Thanks for your posts mehhhh. I am struggling with escitalopram right now and am almost ready to give up on it. It is nice to read a positive post on it. I believe a chemical imbalance is a big part of anxiety as well. I have had success with antidepressants in the past, so I guess that's part of why this struggle has been so hard waiting for the meds to be effective this time around. It's great to hear they've started working for you. I am hoping they kick in for me soon as well.

Thank you Jane. The way I view it is if you're just starting, take it week by week. If you're in the up swing, take it day by day. I'm no doctor but from experience the first few weeks always suuuuuck. That's why I say week by week there. When they kick in I say day by day because when you can finally enjoy life again, soak it all up, cause you deserve it. That's not to say there won't be road bumps. I distinctly remember the day it started to work for me. I went to bed a mess, thinking will it ever pass, and the strangest thing happened. In the 4 hours of sleep I had before work, I woke up and all the sudden it was working. I don't know if my case is rare or what, but I remember things started to slide off easier and it gave me this buffer zone to step back and look from afar at things that used to consume me whole. I tried every last option before meds, so I take credit for that, but the meds are the thing that truly have given me my life back. I find myself barely checking the boards now unless I get an email notification that someone has replied to me (I kind of feel bad saying that but on another note it can be why the boards seem negative a lot of the time. We all want reassurance. I sure know I did. I spent hours upon hours on these boards in my darkest time and they helped a ton). So every night before bed, think tomorrow could be the day. If it doesn't happen the next day, keep the cycle going. Eventually that day will come. And your life will be back.

Hi, I'm so pleased to hear that things are looking up for you now. I have been on escitalopram for just over two weeks and for the past week I've been feeling brighter but yesterday afternoon and today I've been feeling anxious again. I visited my dr on Monday and he was pleased with my progress. I don't know whether this is normal to have bad days now after having such a good run of good days, but now I'm worried that I may need to up my dose to 10mg and of course with that comes all the nasty side effects.

Doing decent at this point. Its working to an extent, but there's a few problems I have with it. Just started going to a phenomenal psych, very lucky and indebted to him for squeezing me into his practice. Going to bring up my issues with him and I'll keep you updated. Also going to ask him about Clomipramine or something outside of the SSRI class if he has issues with what I tell him. It has definitely taken the bed ridden depression away though, I just know I could feel better. Will keep posted. 8 days is early for you though, Id at least give it a month.