9 year old son lovely child but trouble at home at school

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I have a lovely son who is 9 whose school life in particular is getting worse. He doesn't respond well to some people and will argue back but he does feel that some teachers/teaching assistants don't like him and he doesn't respond well back to them. He does play well with others but in small numbers and shows off and is silly with large groups. The school have been very good to a point - his teacher last year did not like him and could not manage him and made it very obvious but this year he has an excellent one who understands him and "see him" but he has such a negative stigma at that school now that I feel that label of causing trouble is going to stay with him. He has been blamed for things that transpire were nothing to do with him but other kids feel it easy to say it was him because people believe it!!!! There is one mum in particular who goes into school everytime her son so much as complains about mine and she has her own little "harem" of mums at school who know all think my child is the "devil". I am very keen now to move school and give him a clean start and break away from it all as the school are working well but are now singling him out more and more - going in a separate entrance in the morning and seating reading with the teacher before class etc. which is making him feel different. They have now instructed that he does not walk to school or home (which he has been doing on occasion) but his friends say nothing happens on the way home and back!!! 

He really is a little love and he is always so affectionate with me. He doesn't get on with his older brother at all and there is a lot of fighting not necessarily physical but constant bits and pieces. His dad is very hard on him too which he doesn't alwasy respond too. 

He doesn't have much concentration span and does fidget a lot. 

It is now having a negative effect on me as I am not sleeping and am feeling low all the time as just want people to see him as I see him and people who know him well that he isn't the child they think they know.

Am I doing the right thing in moving him - he seems quite keen on the idea now as I have told him he will still play with his old friends at home?? HELP end of teather 

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  • Posted

    Your son may have a chromosomal disorder, he may be XXY or XYY, I suggest you ask your doctor for a Karyotype.  This won't be an answer to your sons difficulties, but at least you can either eliminate a cause, or give you a place to start for assistance?  

     

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  • Posted

    There are quite a few things you say of your son that resonate with me and my childhood, and of course I am XXY, and educational/social issues are associted with being XXY.  Other children would also blame me for events that happened at school and on the way home, and on just one occasion my mother picked me up from school on the day others made accusations against me, so I had cast iron proof they were making it up, and I was completely innocent.  I regualrly got into a great deal of trouble at school, even from the very beginning.  One report I still have in my possession says I "demanded individual attention, that was impossible to give in a class."  Years later, in 1994, I discovered that XXY boys do better in class when they sit at the front,  and have their work broken down to smaller parts that teachers are to go over in fine detail, then they can learn it.  So my "demands" were in fact the methods we learn by, those of us affected in that way.  Not all XXY boys have educational difficulty by the way. Sitting at the front of class reduces the possibility of distractions, and teachers can see if the child is getting frustrated over anything, and react appropriately. 

    So even if your son isn't XXY, the same types of systems can be employed that will assist him in class, as if he were XXY.   However if you canget a diagnosis of something, that may be helpful for the teachers, as they can at least say to themselves "He can't change how he is."  

    biggrin

     

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    • Posted

      Thanks for this - yes all does sound familiar. It is useful to hear other's stories and know not alone. 

      I glad it all worked out for you in the end. 

      I don't want anyone to try and change him he is fab as he is just want them to help rather than constant negativity and critisim 

      I have made an appointment at the doctors next week so will see from there and am taking him to look round another school so hopefully a step in the right direction.

      Thanks again for your advice 

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