A advice on Sleeping and not sleeping with CFS/ME

I use Valerian, a herb.

I've tried everything too! 

No electronics after a certain time, no food after a certain time, not using the bedroom for anything other than sleeping, warm milk, soothing music, sleeping pills. Nothing has seemed to help me either.

I wish you the best and hope you manage to find something that gives you some relief!

Ok ignore my advice, probably the best you could get but never mind, your choice. 

I've tried sleeping tablets and like you although they make me sleep i don't feel any better as you just feel drowsy the next day anyway.  Anti depressants were also extremely unhelpful (although I do believe they are helpful to some).  The only thing i have found help with my sleep is sleeping elevated.  I've tried sitting up in my sleep (wearing a neck collar - cause ouch if you don't!) and whilst it helped with both my insomnia and improving my wakefulness throughout the day, I have settled for elevating the head end of my bed about 6 inches - just put something under the feet, ive used books for now but i'd recommend using something safer.  Whilst sitting up was helpful at first, doing this all the time just gives me back and hip ache and my whole body just ended up feeling desperate to lie down if i did this for too many nights in a row and undoes any good that may have been felt in the first place.  Don't get me wrong I have not found sitting up or elevating the bed to be a cure for chronic fatigue or insomnia, but I have felt a definite improvement in both - although of course this will not likely work for everyone but it might be worth a go.  I experimented last week with lying down normally and just slowly got worse again to the point where i would get out of bed make it as far as the sofa and fall asleep again for 3 or 4 hours.  I've elevated the bed again this week and started feeling definite improvements after the second night, I'm not good enough to be back exercising but to be awake and talking on a forum is like a giant leap for me.  

I have suffered with chronic fatigue for the best part of my adult life and i'm nearing 40, so as you can imagine I have tried pretty much everything else over the years. My doctors have no clue why this would help (and neither do i quite honestly) I only tried it as a friend suggested I may have sleep apnea and read this can help obstructive sleep apnea but my test for sleep apnea was negative.  

I have found very few other people on the internet suggesting trying sleeping in an elevated position but not many, so I don't want to get your hopes up that it will work for you - so I apologise now if you find this unhelpful

I also suffered from extreme insomnia for the guts of two years, it was awful and infuriating I usually got max 3 hours sleep per night. I tried everything, no electronics before bed, no food or drinks, meditation, warm low lights, herbs, they all helped but the one thing that really made the most difference for me was using a melatonin spray, for any one who doesnt know, melatonin is a sleep hormone.

I can't sleep without tablets. I find that amytriptaline helps with sleeping but reading other peoples comments it depends on individuals and how they react to it. There are herbal remedies like nytol hearbal or valerian herbal tablets available, they may help. 

All the best.