A child not eating

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hello,

I have a friend, and she lives in a household with her husband, son, his wife and their child. Most of the family members are mainly all alcohol addicts apart from my friend, so of course, the atmosphere at home is very damaging and upsetting. She is really concerned, as the child is 11 years old, and he hasn't been eating at all for the last few months. She can't get her grandson to eat anything, and she's even tried giving him whatever he wants, chocolates, sweets etc but he just won't eat it. He's losing his weight quite rapidly, and she's just very concerned. She started taking him to the doctors, but the process is taking very long, and she just really wants to know what this is. Does anyone have any idea?

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Erika,

    I'm sorry to hear about this. As the child is under 18, and factoring in the other circumstances, probably the most important thing you can do is what you've done and alerted another relative. It seems like you have a good relationship with them, and it could certainly be worth talking to them more generally about speaking to the school. Be mindful that this can be a challenge for relatives to want to intervene against their own children so this would need to be a delicate conversation. I would also reiterate that you are there to support the grandmother through this.

    The school are able to access all kind of support e.g. it may be there is internal counselling, or they can directly refer to CAMHS services and so on. It's a lot better that the school are involved, because the child's behaviour/work could be affected so being aware is key.

    On the weight loss, it's hard at this stage to determine whether it is an actual disorder. Very often, food refusal in young children is a response to a very challenging situation because it's the only thing they can control. The anxiety of the situation may also make it difficult to eat. This isn't to make light of the situation at all. 

    I would continue to encourage contact with the GP and continue to reinforce the urgency of this (unfortunatey being pushy is the only way...). At present diagnosed eating disorders in children and young people are one of the few mental health conditions to have maximum waiting times standards, everything else faces lengthy waits. The school will also be able to help with this.

    The other option is to start having chats with him about things more generally. How's school, did you enjoy football etc. These aren't leading questions but are good starters to get him to start talking. At 11 it may be very challenging to articulate exactly how he is feeling and why. Diving straight in and assuming that home is making him stressed (whilst likely) is not going to help him open up. 

    Taking him out to do nice things as well to bring back a sense of fun will help.

     

  • Posted

    Please dont loose hope in this issue, advice your friends family members to get rid off alcohol consumption this may also make the child to deviate from his regular activities. My personal advice is to consult a psychologist, he will advice the child and deal with the problem the child faces. Attend any Food science Conference which will give you tips regarding the food preparation and children mentality regarding food. You can visit 

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