A rollercoaster I want to get off
Posted , 4 users are following.
I started with menopause at 47 (I’m 50) and it was really ‘just’ hot flashes, low mood and sleep problems. My GP is hugely supportive and we decided to try HRT. I settled on Elleste Duet which was great. Then it went out of stock and I was given Kliofem, which was okay but my symptoms returned. So I tried gel oestrogen and utrogestan.
Again I settled and all seemed well. But in September 20. I had what I can only describe as a menopause storm - severe waves of doom, jitters, adrenaline surges. fear, hot and cold flashes, nausea, bloating, digestive issues, sleep problems, aching joints, air hunger… the list goes on and on. (Bloods and scans are normal by the way.)
I upped my dose of gel but to no avail. But I levelled out again only to get covid in January 2021. I was very unwell with the gastric version of the virus and it threw my hormones out of whack. So a lot of my menopausal symptoms returned. I felt I wasn't absorbing the gel especially as the dose increase didn't help at all. . So I had a consult with my GP who agreed and I went back on Elleste.
Since then I’ve been largely okay until recently when I had another spell of these dreadful and varying symptoms. It’s so random as they can come without warning and at any time day or night. I feel ghastly, lost and just wired wrongly. It’s very debilitating and spoils outings and time with friends and family. My anxiety is also through the roof as I’m terrified of having an episode and that anxiety adds fuel to the fire when it comes to my symptoms and I make myself feel worse. Plus, I convince myself that there's something hugely wrong with me.
I am concerned at how badly women like me suffer with menopause and how ill prepared I was for it. I do talk to lots of people about their experiences & find sharing helps me feel less alone and that I’m not bonkers. But it is such a difficult road to travel and I hope someone out there relates to my story. Please.
0 likes, 7 replies
bev27429 hilary72843
Edited
I'm on the same roller coaster as you, and I have been since 47. I turn 54 later this year, so it's been a LONG road, and not one that I would recommend taking, if you had the choice. The physical symptoms, although pretty awful, I can deal with: GI problems (bloating, gas, constipation, diarrhea), sweating one minute and freezing another, weight gain, tingling and zapping under the skin, and so on. It's the mental symptoms that have almost done me in: numbing depression, anger and extreme rage, hopelessness, feeling detached from the world, brain fog. Sadly, the list goes on.
I would say that in the last six months, in particular, I'm starting to see an improving trend, but, before that, I never knew how I would feel in any given moment. I could be debilitated one moment and then without a care in the world the next - even though nothing happened, except some inexplicable shift in my hormones that I can't control.
My periods are spacing out, so I'm well on my way to seeing the back side of this, and so I should after YEARS of this!!
I had no idea anything could be this bad, and I've gone through my share of bad times - believe me!
You have my 100% understanding and empathy. This is the hardest thing to do out there, but we're made of tough stuff, so we'll get through it.
Life on the other side will then be sweeter than ever:)
Hugs xo
hilary72843 bev27429
Posted
I appreciate your reply hugely. I wish you well too and it really helps knowing we are not alone.
As you say, we will get through this.
Hugs
debbie12340 bev27429
Edited
Hi Bev,
i have a feeling that i have spoken to you before ? i used to be on this site regularly
I am now 56 ! I don't want to burst your bubble but my periods stopped 4 years ago and there is no new me on the other side .
I still feel awful most days and can still relate to how you are feeling now !
xx
stella21064 debbie12340
Posted
This oddly makes me feel better. (Not because you are still suffering) but because I got through peri pretty well with just a few sweaty nights/days and one really long, heavy last period. It's been over a year now, no more monthlies but last week just some kind of dark shedding for a day, so I believe I am still postmenopausal.. my symptoms struck NOW. Sleeplessness, EXTREME ANXIETY when previously under control with meds but now it's at it again meds or not, and a very sad feeling that I can't shake. Not much of an appetite.
It's all attached to my sleep.
If I can't sleep well, then life is hell-hell.
Why now? I got thru the transition pretty good, nothing major. ☹️
I'm scared.
bev27429 stella21064
Edited
Try not to be scared, Stella. I know that's a big ask. Some women sail through perimenopause, only to be struck with a slew of symptoms once they hit menopause. At this point, your hormones are still shifting and trying to find some kind of equilibrium. This whole process takes so much longer than people expect. My doctor did tell me that it can take up to ten years for some women! Ugh! But just remember, it's not horrific 24 / 7. Try to notice the times when you are less symptomatic. I have noticed that although I have some horrendous lows, I also have times when I feel decent, and other times when I feel like my best self.
I take Seroquel for sleep (a low dose of 50mg), and it has been a life-saver for me! I sleep eight hours a night with zero side effects! You might want to discuss this option with your doctor.
Just remember that these symptoms won't last forever; in the meantime, just take it step by step: one foot in front of the other.
Big hugs to you:)
B xo
bev27429 debbie12340
Edited
You are not "bursting my bubble" Debbie, and I take a bit of offence at that comment. I'm sorry to hear that you are still suffering; however, every woman is different: some sail through perimenopause and struggle in post-menopause, others have a horrific perimenopause, but things settle at menopause, once their hormones calm down. It's a tough road, and I completely understand that, but it's also important to offer women hope, rather than give them the sense that it never ends. It is a phase in a woman's life, and symptoms will abate; it's just a matter of when. I've been pretty fanatical with my tracking of my symptoms over the years, so I can actually see the improvements that I've made. Now that my periods are spacing out, I'm feeling better and better. I wish you well.
stella21064 bev27429
Posted
Thank you so much, I was so confused because I kept thinking now is the time I should be feeling good, not super-bad. It is so bad.
I can tell you get it, thanks for explaining that part to me.
I appreciate you so much. Was feeling so alone. And wanting to be alone.. in my room. It's unlike me. I've always been a happy (but nervous) girl.
I will look into the Seroquel. I am already on something (you'll see in message) but I will still check it out.
Your reply has given me hope. Xx