A very concerned mum !

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My son is 21 years old. He was diagnosed with AIH (auto immune Liver Disease) aged 14 and ulcerative colitis when he was about 16.  My son for some unknown reason has stopped all medication about 1 year ago.  He refuses to see his consultant, attend hospital check ups and so on.  As he is now adult I have no say. For the past 6 month he has being getting worse, He is up every two hours at night to go to the bathroom.  When he eats food, he just finishes and it runs straight out him.  I put an appointment on for the doctor as I am so concerned that his bowel will rupture, but my son refused to go.  I have pleaded with him, threatened him but no matter what I do, he just seems to have a death wish !  He refuses to talk about, all he says is that he has a choice and that I cant make him go.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me ? in order to get him to see a doctor.  My husband and I are so very worried about him

Any help would be great

Thank you

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Normski,

    You and your husband must be worried sick.

    Do you have any idea why he is refusing to see his medical team? Is he perhaps just too worried what they may say or recommend?  As you say, as he is an adult you can't force him to keep appointments or see his consultant, and if talking and persuasion doesn't work, as far as I can see there's not much you can do, until an emergency occurs and he is taken to A&E.  

    Whereabouts do you live?  Do you think there is anything to be gained by visiting your GP or his consultant, explaining the situation and seeing whether, in these particular circumstances, they would be be prepared to visit him at home, or possibly offer some suggestions for the way forward? I'm sure that in their careers they will have experienced similar situations and may well have strategies to help.

    Does he, perchance, have a girlfriend or friends to whom you can speak with a view to enlisting their help and  influence? 

    Forgive me if this seems disjointed; I'm thinking as I'm writing - so quite possibly what I say isn't practical or make much sense  I can only imagine the anguish you must be living through.

    I wish you, your husband and your son all the very best. Hopefully, other members on the site may be able to be more helpful.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    With kindest regards,

    Peter xx  

     

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  • Posted

    Babs,  I'm so sorry. The name 'Norminski' appeared when I first read your post.  I have absolutely no idea where that name originated.

    Please forgive my error.  I'm utterly confused...

    Peter A 

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  • Posted

    ....or even 'Normski'....

    Clearly this is not my day!!  sad 

    Peter A

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  • Posted

    Hi Babs1033

    Gosh you must be worried about him. First of all I’m assuming that you’re in the uk & that your son still lives with you.  I can answer as a sufferer of UC & a Mum.

    I’ve had UC for 5 years. There have been times when I have been very unwell. In the early days waiting to see a doctor  I was not on Any medication & I lost weight & became very unwell but I Also was in Denial about how poorly I was. I would try to think back to when your son stopped his medication. What happened in his life at that time, or did he just lose faith that the meds were helping him? Or perhaps they weren’t? Is he frightened that he’ll end up with surgery? Either way I think he is depressed. Depression can also go hand in hand with chronic illness.  Please go to a uk website for Crohn’sp & colitis there is lots of info on there & You can ring them for support. I also think from a Mums point of view that if he Was receiving treatment & medication for his conditions why haven’t his doctors surgery or hospital followed up to see him after all this time? You could always write a letter, asking for confidentiality, to your sons doctor stating your concerns. Obviously you know your own son & if he found out would this lead to an end to your relationship? Before that I would try talking quietly & calmy to your son as a last plea to go to the doctor. Try to find out why he’s given up. Has he got any close friends that could approach the subject & go with him? B x

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    • Posted

      Thank you  for asking.  We managed to get him to go to the doctors. We are waiting on the results of bloods.  He has been given beta blockers to with with his anxiety.  Very small steps.  But heading in the right direction.  Thanks to everyone who replied xx
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    • Posted

      The longest journey can be achieved in small steps, so it's great to hear that things are going in the the direction, albeit slowly.

      I do so hope that a good outcome is achieved and may I ask that you keep us all informed as developments occur?

      With love and thoughts,

      Peter A 

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    • Posted

      Fingers, toes, and everything else legal crossed for him and you all.

      Very much hoping you can report back with positive news.

      Peter xxx

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  • Posted

    HI Babs1033

    Been thinking about you. I hope the problem has been resolved & you’re All getting support. B

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  • Posted

    Hi Babs1033 I’m pleased that you got him to agree to go to the doctors. A massive achievement.  B
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