a worried father...
Posted , 4 users are following.
English is not my native language (I live in Flanders/Belgium), so I hope you understand something of it…
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Hello,
Just outline the situation: our son (22j) has recently graduated without problems (in Flanders: Bachelor's Laboratory and then 1j BaNaBa).
He has more than likely a slight variant in ASS (we think PDD-NOS?), But it was never diagnosed and he himself finds there’s "nothing wrong" with him.
For an outsider he’s behavior is not really exceptional - except that he is "quiet and not really social" ..
Now that he graduated, the next (difficult) obstacle should be taken: job application and work.
But that first thing (job application) is the problem now.
He does not make the least effort to search for vacancies, let alone to respond to vacancies we show him.
Either does he not respond, or does the (typical?) reprieve behavior appear ("I'll take a look"
.
After much insistence, I had - together with him, because otherwise it would not have happened - subscribed to VDAB (a Flemish Job-center). He does receive vacancies, but, according to him, those are not what he wants. On our question what he really wants, a reaction will come "I do not know myself" and the dialogue stops.
He also has no real hobbies or leisure time; spend the days reading a book, reading crosswords and sudoku's seems to be something more for an 80 year old than for a youngster of 22j. When we talk about it, he gets angry.
From the many articles I've read on the Internet, I found many people with ASS who really want to work, but I didn’t find people who do not want to search.
Now my question: Does anyone recognize himself in such a situation, where a graduate youth does not make any efforts to seek work?
And / or does this fall under the characteristics of ASS / PDD-NOS?
Thanks for any help,
A worried father...
0 likes, 1 reply
michelle68543 WimDC
Posted
Hello. First, congratulations to your son for graduating from college. That is a huge accomplishment for someone with Aspergers. Yes, I myself took many semesters in traditional college classrooms. However, my anxiety always got the best of me. I didn't complete college until I was 41. I had to complete it via distant (online )education. And yes, even searching for work is sometimes soooo anxiety provoking for me. I have had times when I just couldn't force myself to even look. Also, I would read job vacancies and imagine the environment I would have to work in. Many times I just knew by the type of environment that I would not be able to remain in a certain job. So, I would not look long or even apply for those jobs. There are only a small handful of jobs that I can imagine myself being able to handle the environment of the job. I think a good strategy would be to let him "get used" to certain types of jobs by doing volunteer work. Tell him he must work a volunteer job at least 10 hours per week if he is going to live under your roof. This might be a low pressure way for him to discover what he can do without feeling like he will totally fail at a "real" career. Give him 2 or 3 months at a volunteer position and then reassess the situation.